A Place For REAL AMERICANS To Get Their News!

[republicanpress]

Finally!

A site that gives you the news with morals, values, and shit like that!

www.RepublicanPress.com

[AX10]

1. so this is a parody site

[ncteechur]

2. It was so ridiculous, I couldn't tell if it was real or a spoof!!

[IndyOp]

5. I was momentarily worried that we had the biggest FREEPER of

all times!

:kick:

[IndyOp]

3. Where are the pics of the peeing homosexual prostitutes who

serve the boys in the WH?

:shrug:

[kliljedahl]

6. Naw, these are all hetero repukes

My favorite "correspondent" Kathleen Kuntly

Deep Drilling In ANWR
By Kathleen Kuntly, GOP Media Diva
May 27, 2005, 04:22

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With oil reaching record highs, the cries from the liberal leftists have grown increasingly louder. They want to blame President Bush for the record high fuel prices, instead of bad boy Bill Clinton. These environmental eggheads are holding our economy hostage with their eco-terrorist tactics! The time has come to report the truth. Drilling in ANWR would help to keep our homeland safe and our fuel prices low!

I arrived in Anchorage, Alaska as a cold artic wind blew head long into the city. Once I found my hotel, I quickly retired to my room and drew myself a hot bath. The cold artic winds blew hard outside, but my white, silky smooth skin, lay soaking in my hot bath. As the hot water oozed over me, and into certain crevices of my body that had been used the night before, I began to think about all the liberal ninnies and their obsession with this frozen tundra state.

“Damn, wacko-eco freaks!” I said to myself, as my finger began to circle the nipple of my left breast. Soon, that nipple was rock hard and standing at attention as my finger made it’s trip around it. “We need that oil! The liberals have no morals, 9/11 changed everything….” I moaned under my breath. “Ummm......” I moaned out, as I could feel my anger manifest itself. Soon, I was in the throes of sheer bliss as my other hand made its way into the steaming, soapy, water. “Double bubble toil and trouble. . .” I morphed out as my fingers found my G-Spot underneath the warm water.


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[kliljedahl]

4. I've been going to that site for months

They've changed the format, much cleaner now. The old format was great, a total jumbled mess, like Repukes (see Free Republic) would do. Did you see it in the old format?


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[Contrary1]

7. Hahahaha

Lessons Of Big Government

By: Boxcar Pud Acuff, Country Crooner, GOP
May 29, 2005, 11:08

I'm just an ole' country singer from Mule Ass, Tennessee who believes in the red, white, and blue! Shoot, I ain't the brightest light bulb, but I know that I ain't smart neither. I figure that when our President sends our troops off to war we have to stand by our president and not ask questions! This is something real Americans do. We stand by our president, if he is a republican that is. We know they have values and morals. We also know that some people, namely the democrats, were against this war in Iraq. Don't these people know that Saddam posed a gathering threat to America? Don't the democrats know that he had weapons-of-mass-destruction-related-program-activities or some shit like that?

<snip>

My old granddaddy used to say, "Pud, there ain't no middle ground. . . . so, hows 'bout letting old grandaddy prove it to you." Then old granddaddy Steamboat Acuff would grab my younger brother and strip him off butt naked. Little brother would cry and scream, but old granddaddy Acuff was a wise man who knew what was best for little brother and me. Granddaddy would then undo his overalls and reveal his massive arousal to little brother and me. "You boys see this? This is Big Government!" Granddaddy would say as he bent little brother over. "This is Big Government invading your personal space....and this is big government telling you to respect minorities.....and this is Big Government coming into your home!"

"Owwwww.....Hell Far!.....Big Government ain't worth a shit!" little Brother would scream out in pain. He learned first hand what too much of Big Government can do to a man! Granddaddy would tell us that having Republican values is what made the Acuff family strong. "Pud, don't ever let me catch you lookin' at them nudie books," Granddaddy told me when I turned fourteen. That was his way of teachin' me 'bout right and wrong. He was tryin' to tell me that sex was for makin' babies, and not to be exploited in some sleazy book. "Not, unless you ask your granddaddy first, and then I will go get them out from under my bed and we'll look at them together." He continued to tell me that day when I turned fourteen. That was his way of teaching me morals and Republican values.

"Pud, them liberals and democrats won't stop until they turned the whole damn U.S. Army queer as football bats!" Granddaddy told me one day, when he, little brother, and I were out in the cattle pond skinny dippin'. I didn't believe him then, but I know today that if John Kerry, had his way, old granddaddy's words would become true! "Pud, if them liberals and democrats had their way, they would let queers marry each other, and then the queers will take over America! I am tellin' ya that someday queers will take us over without firin' a shot!" Granddaddy said to us and then he added, "Pud, tell your little brother to dive down under old grandpa into this murky pond water and see if he can find granddaddy's surprise." So, I told little brother and he did, and he didn't find anything, but granddaddy whipped him and made him stay down in the murky pond water until he found it. Granddaddy got a stupid-ass look on his face when little brother found it. He commenced to shakin' and shimmerin' and then he moaned out, "Oh...Good... boy...good...." That was his way of teachin' responsibility to little brother. "An Acuff always does what he is told!" Was how he would say it.

Sadly, it wasn't long after that skinny dippin' that the commie-big-government Family and Child Services Bureau come and got old granddaddy Steamboat Acuff. They had these papers that said he couldn't be around us kids anymore. That is just one of the reason this old country boy votes republican. This old country boy knows what big government will do!


http://www.republicanpress.com/artman/publish/article_19.shtml

[Crunchy Frog]

8. "Lesbianism: A Problem That Must Be Licked"

:rofl:

That's a great site. Is it yours?

Welcome to DU by the way.:patriot:

[republicanpress]

9. Thank you for the kind words

Yes it is mine.

My best friend and I do all of the site.

Believe it or not we're a pair of liberals who live in Tennessee and Georgia. The site is our outlet for our frustrations in being surrounded by the "morals and values" crowd.

We recently redesigned the site as we were outgrowing the old one. Any help or advice on how we could spread the word about our site would be appreciated.

Thanks for all the kind words!

Chris amd Jay
www.RepublicanPress.com

[Crunchy Frog]

11. Wow, Tennessee and Georgia. You have my sympathy.

I notice from your profile that you're not new here, just don't post much.

A good way to spread the word on your site would be to put a link to it in your sig like you have, but with a really splashy graphic. Then just start posting alot on here and people will be drawn to check out your site just by seeing the link.

You might also try posting links to some of the stories down in the Lounge.

It's a great site and it would certainly be nice for it to get more exposure.

I see you also have a small message board there. I like the hatemail that you have posted over there, as well as the mail from clueless Democrats who don't know it's satire.:D

[NightOwwl]

10. Do you ever get emails from people who think your site is for real?

If do, you should post a few...moran emails are always very amusing.

[republicanpress]

12. Yes we do

Actually we do get them.

I post them in the "mailbag" section of our forums. It's always fun when people don't realize we are a spoof.

Thanks
Chris

[republicanpress]

13. Yes we do

Actually we do get them.

I post them in the "mailbag" section of our forums. It's always fun when people don't realize we are a spoof.

Thanks
Chris

[NightOwwl]

14. Bwahaha!

I just read your response to the guy who wanted to run an ad on your site for his new Hillary book. But the best part was the "books" you linked to. Hope you don't mind if I quote here:

ONE RODE AN ANGRY HORSE
"He who rode was naked, and he rode hard...."



The morning was cold and quiet as the whore arose from her night's work. She was still half-asleep as she made her way to the wash basin to rid herself of the sins that she had committed during the night. She splashed the cold water onto her painted whore face, and as she did she could feel that something wasn't right.

"I would have never turned to whoredom had it not been for liberal sex education classes I had to take while I was in high school," she said as she splashed her face with the cold water. Suddenly, there were the sounds of a horse's hoofs upon the cobble stoned street. The whore stopped splashing her face with the cold water as she heard the sound drawing nearer. "Clomp-clomp-clomp," was the sound that filtered into the whore's ears. She ran to the window and peered out onto the street that ran through the lonely, smelly, whore filled town.

:evilgrin:
But, I agree with the previous poster. To get more exposure, put your web address in your sig line, along with an attention-grabbing picture or phrase. I'm sure that would get you some new visitors.

[republicanpress]

15. Thanks!

Do you guys mean something like this?

[IndyOp]

16. Good job with the signature line!

I cannot believe that anyone who read even one article would think you were for real -- Rethugs must not read.

:kick:

[Crunchy Frog]

17. I like that!

You can set it up in your sig line so that people can click directly on it to get to the site, or you can just have the web address right next to it. It's nice and eye catching though.