"Christian Conservatives flock to Army Recruiting Offices"

[BOSSHOG]

- Male freerepublic members discover they have penis', join the Marines. In an astonishing side story, many female freerepublic members discover they have penis' too.

- the bush twins become Army of Two

- James Dobson urges AFR listeners to do the right thing and enlist

- rush limbaugh volunteers to drive a truck in Fallujah

HEADLINES ROVE WANTS AFTER TONIGHTS BOMB AND WILL NEVER GET.

BUSH - WORSE PRESIDENT EVER. NO CONTEST.

[BrklynLiberal]

1. Great "Headlines we will never see" post...haahahahahah

[Vickers]

2. "Recruiters Unable to Process Enlistments Quickly Enough"

subheadline: "Many Now Being Offered Early-Outs"

:P

[powergirl]

3. I THOUGHT IT WAS "THE ONION" HEADLINE

I immediately laughed! :rofl:

[paparush]

4. Flash! Headline!!

Must Credit Smudge

Candy Assed President Bawls at Death Pep Rally

Rove, "The meds had worn off...pay no attention...HooHa!"

The Joint Chiefs Meet in Emergency Session to Plot the Overthrow of their Cry Baby Commander in Chief

[orleans]

5. "Conservative Republicans Encourage Their Children to Enlist"

"Fundies Putting Down Bible; Picking Up Gun"

"Bush Apologizes For Lying About....Everything!"

"Poppy Bush Decries Son: "Impeach My Boy Now!"

"Bush Twins Pregnant: Suspected Immaculate Conception Double Whammy"

[grannylib]

6. Evangelicals sell all they have, give it to the poor, and follow Jesus.

Another one ya won't be seeing any time soon.

[kodi]

7. I understand they are forming the "Jonah Goldberg'" Brigade

in a salute to the commander-in -chief

a new version of a great, patiotic song.

Ballad of the Tanqueray (sung to the music of Ballad of the Green Berets)

Drunken men who swill rye,
Puke on their shoes and hope to die,
Men who slur just what they say,
The drunken men of the Tanqueray

Chorus

Silver beer tabs on their chests,
They drank Bud, America’s best,
Twenty beers George drank a day.
And washed it down with Tanqueray

Trained to drive while drinking beer,
He nearly killed a lot of deer
George who smashed dad’s car at night,
Then got in a great big fight

Back at home his Laura waits,
Worries if George has met his fate,
Has he crashed the car again,
All because he’s drinking gin

Silver beer tabs on his chest,
He’s passed out, and needing rest,
A 100 beers he’s had today,
But only 3 shots of Tanqueray

[BOSSHOG]

8. Thanks kodi

Very nicely done. And not one line of fiction.

[Mad_Dem_X]

9. I love it!

:applause: