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Proper Southern Belles...
1. Do not 'pass gas' in public. (Well yes, they really do, but they look at the person next to them in shock and smile coyly)
2. Never chase after a man... they connive a man into chasing 'them'. Then act totally surprised when 'caught'.
3. Never eat large amounts in public... they only nibble and say that they aren't hungry. (A southern belle will eat before a date, then again afterwards! It's not until the 'date' is of a fiancé status that a southern belle orders everything on the menu!
4. Absolutely NEVER sleep with a man on a first date! (they get up and go home to do their sleeping!) A true southern belle never lets the man she's after see her first thing in the morning until she's 'got' him.
5. Never cuss above a whisper where others might hear them. They use phrases like... 'oh my gosh', 'darn', and 'shoot'.
6. Southern women know their three Rs:
$$$ Rich
$$$$ Richer
$$$$$ Richest
7. Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
8. Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Atlanta
Charlotte
Nashville
N'awlins
Richmond
Savannah
Wal-Mart
9. Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in Wranglers
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
10. Southern women know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Beauty Salon
The Country Club
11. Southern women know the three deadly sins:
Bad hair
Bad manners
Bad Dancers
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The definition of "Southern Belle" frequently ends up as a tongue-in-cheek list of behaviors or conduct befitting a proper Southern Lady. Definitions are difficult because a Southern Belle is probably really understood only by another Southerner. Certainly, the best fictional portrayals have been by Southern writers.
The main characteristic of the Southern Belle is inner strength and control hidden by exaggerated femininity. The non-Southerner may see only the appearance of the Belle and think her shallow and vain, but she appears helpless and demure when actually she's independent, stubborn, and a survivor. She can be sweet and charming to those she truly dislikes if doing so will be useful. These contradictions contribute to her reputation as a male magnet. Men are never quite sure who she is or how they stand with her, and that's the way she likes it.
Southern men, of course, know how to play the game. They are aware of the Belle's artifice. They don't understand it, but they like its effects. They enjoy the attention, the flirting, the attractive appearance of the Belle. Non-Southern men just "don't get it" most of the time, and a mixed marriage between a Yankee and a Belle requires adjustment. A marriage with a Southern man who has a non-Southern mother can be difficult because the understanding of "Belleness" is passed on through the mother.
Southern men are often close to their mamas—think Elvis Presley, Bill Clinton—and need motherly strength in their women. They don't, however, want to be managed, especially when they're behaving like little boys. Southern women have learned to manage them through guile.
Literature, movies and television often present caricatures and stereotypes, and only a few realistic portrayals of the Southern Belle. The most famous fictional Belle is, of course, Scarlett O'Hara from Gone with the Wind. The worst caricatures are on television where actresses with really, really bad Southern accents play mindless goony birds.
Belles of the Old South such as Scarlett were white and upper class, but the New South Belle is not bound by race or social status. Today's Southern Belle is a strong, independent woman with good manners and charm. She knows how to use her womanly wiles to get what she wants, whether it's better service from her auto mechanic or better behavior from her spouse or children. Because she is educated and has career options, the modern Southern Belle is much less dependent on men. She still loves to flirt, of course, and retains her great sense of humor, but she doesn't have to please men to have a place in the world as did her antebellum sisters. And she doesn't have to wear those darn cumbersome hoop skirts!
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Musings of Some Famous Southern Belles
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes—only sooner. - Tallulah Bankhead
It is the loose ends with which men hang them-selves. - Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald
I'm so Southern, I'm my own cousin. - Brett Butler
My pet, the world can forgive practically anything except people who mind their own business.
- Margaret Mitchell
I never said 'Well, I don't have this and I don't have that,' I said, 'I don't have this yet, but I'm going to get it.' - Tina Turner
I think the most important thing a woman can have, next to talent of course, is her hairdresser.
- Joan Crawford
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. - Dolly Parton
I'm a big woman. I need big hair. - Aretha Franklin
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Notable Southern Belles...............
Maya Angelou (1928- ) Writer and teacher, born in St. Louis and raised in segregated rural Arkansas. She is hailed as one of the great voices of contemporary literature and as a remarkable Renaissance woman. Dr. Angelou captivates her audiences lyrically with vigor, fire and perception. Mary Kay Ash, (?-2001 *See Note) born in Houston, Texas. She built the largest direct sales cosmetic empire in the U.S., using innovative sales techniques and programs aimed at boosting the self-esteem of her employees, predominantly women. Mary Kay realized her dream through hard work and determination.
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Tallulah Bankhead (1903-1968) Stage and film actress, born in Huntsville, Alabama. Her rise to international stardom was a first for a native Alabama woman. Tallulah is known for her husky, drawling voice and her sultry man-eating roles. Dahlings, she lived the role to the fullest.
Helen Gurley Brown (1922- ) Editor and writer, born in Green Forest, Arkansas. Propelled to fame by her best-seller, Sex and the Single Girl, she became editor of Cosmopolitan magazine in 1965, the publication some called the woman's counterpart to Playboy Magazine.
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Pearl Buck (1892-1973) Writer, born in Hillsboro, West Virginia. She won acclaim as the 1938 Nobel Laureate in Literature for The Good Earth, with its rich and truly epic descriptions of peasant life in China, and as an advocate for mixed-race children and other causes. Rosalynn Carter (1927- ) First Lady of the nation, born in Plains, Georgia. She is a volunteer, humanitarian, and always a gracious lady. Rosalynn married Jimmy Carter in 1946 and campaigned actively for him during his successful bid for the presidency in 1976.
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Fannie Flagg (1944- ) Writer and actress, born in Birmingham, Alabama. Fannie penned the New York Times best selling Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, which became the basis for the much acclaimed movie, Fried Green Tomatoes.
Zelda Fitzgerald (1900-1948) Writer, born in Montgomery, Alabama. Her Save Me the Waltz is described as "the deeply felt expression of a creative, inde-pendent spirit." Zelda was the first flapper of the Jazz Age, wife of writer F. Scott Fitzgerald; the Belle of Montgomery and later, the world.
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*Note: We had so much trouble trying to find the date of birth for Mary Kay Ash that we gave up.
Now, I ask you, Is that the sign of a true Southern Belle or what? You just gotta love it!
A young Southern Belle, visiting New York City for the first time, goes to a highbrow cocktail party. She approaches a group of people on the balcony and with her brightest, friendliest smile, says, "Hello, where are y'all from?" A woman turns to her slowly, fixes her with an icy stare and replies haughtily, "We are from where one does not end a sentence with a preposition." The young Belle, slightly taken aback, nevertheless does not miss a beat, "Oh! Well, then... where are y'all from, Bitch?
Two Southern Belles were daintily sipping Mint Juleps and conversing on the verandah of a beautiful mansion.
One of the Belles turned to the other and said, "When our first child was born, my precious husband surprised me with an exquisite diamond bracelet."
The other Belle replied sweetly, "How lovely."
The first Belle went on to say, "And when our second child was born, he up and bought me a gorgeous pair of ruby teardrop earrings.
The other Belle, again smiling very sweetly, responded softly, "How lovely."
The first Belle continued, "And when our third child was born, that darlin' man presented me with the keys to that Mercedes-Benz parked over yonder under that oak tree."
Sugar dripping off her tongue now, the other Belle replied, "How lovely."
The first Belle, fidgeting with curiosity, could wait no longer, "Whatever did your husband do for you when your children were born?"
The other Belle smiled sweetly and answered in her soft, genteel voice, "Why, he sent me to charm school."
"Charm school? What on earth for, child?"
"So that I could learn to say, 'How lovely' instead of, 'who gives a shit, you f***ing Bitch.'"
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