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Bedroom Secret Revealed: Donald Rumsfeld Sleeps With GI Joe Doll

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WhiteTara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 02:45 PM
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Bedroom Secret Revealed: Donald Rumsfeld Sleeps With GI Joe Doll
Okay, I don't know if this is true. It is delicious though. I have been running article searches on dummy rummy and have a few article that have popped up. If someone can tell me this is a spoof, fine. I would be good to know, but meanwhile, read it and howl with laughter and fear!

By Aiden Louis

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld can't fall asleep unless he's clutching his G.I. Joe doll, reveals a White House insider.

"Mr. Rumsfeld has to have 'Pvt. Joey' snuggled safe in his arms at bedtime or he's up all night going crazy looking for him," says the source.

"The action figure is more than 40 years old. It's raggedy and missing a leg. Mr. Rumsfeld accidentally ripped it off when he was playing 'Watch Out For Landmines' during a Senate hearing. But it's his most beloved possession."


The insider, an ex-intern who worked with the defense secretary and often visited his home, was tying up a project late one night when he overheard a vicious argument between his boss and wife Joyce Rumsfeld.

snip
Shamelessly eavesdropping on the marital fracas, the insider learned Rumsfeld is obsessively attached to the 10-inch-tall "Real American Hero" because he saved his life.

"He had one of the Joe's in his lap during a luncheon when a passing waiter tripped and two escargot knives plummeted down, point first, toward Mr. Rumsfeld's testicles. "The doll took the hit. If he hadn't, the injury would have changed Mr. Rumsfeld's voice to that of a girlie soprano and ended his political career. Or he could have bled to death if the blades sliced a major artery.

there is more, you just gotta love it.

http://www.keepmedia.com/pubs/WeeklyWorldNews/2004/10/18/611543
:rofl:

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whistle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 02:46 PM
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1. Life sized blow up GI Joe doll with a stiff rubber p***s
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The Night Owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 02:53 PM
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2. Reports are coming in that the doll is not GI Joe...
Edited on Wed Jul-27-05 03:21 PM by The Night Owl
According to several sources, the doll in question is not GI Joe, but actually the Elite Farce George W. Bush action figure...


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Contrary1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. I always wondered...
does this doll come with an extra pair of rolled-up gym socks?
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WhiteTara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. for pants stuffing?
:rolf:
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ollie79 Donating Member (106 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
3. Um
Yeah that is just satire.
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WhiteTara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. do you know the source?
I got this from a news source, not the onion. These guys are Sooo crazy that I almost believe this. This is what KeepMedia says about the source About Weekly World News: Weekly World News is a weekly tabloid written to shock readers, with features on astonishing discoveries, unbelievable facts and more.
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ollie79 Donating Member (106 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-27-05 03:22 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Right
Well there is no doubt Rummy does serious role playing.

He probably believes he George C. Marshall or Patton.

Agggh! These Repukes make me mad!!! :grr:
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