White House Denies Existence of Karl Rove - Onion

[rndmprsn]

too fu#king funny...

White House Denies Existence

WASHINGTON, DC—The White House denied rumors of wrongdoing by anyone named Karl Rove Monday, saying the alleged deputy chief of staff does not exist.

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Above: White House press secretary Scott McClellan.

"To my knowledge, no one by the name of Karl Rove works for this president, his staff, or for that matter, anyone on earth, since he is not a real person," White House press secretary Scott McClellan told reporters Monday.

Despite White House denials, allegations have surfaced in recent weeks that Karl Rove is the man who leaked covert CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity to the press. He is rumored to be President Bush's senior advisor, chief political strategist, architect of the president's 2000 and 2004 election victories, and the current deputy White House chief of staff, as well as a frequent guest on televised political talk shows.

"None of these allegations are supported by the facts," McClellan said. "The opponents of this administration have created a mythical figure in order to discredit the president. All they have done is divert attention from the important work at hand—the war in Iraq and the war on terror. In doing so, they have dishonored the sacrifices of our brave men and women in uniform."

"This time," he added, "the Democrats have gone too far."

According to fringe journalist Lou Dubose, author of Boy Genius: Karl Rove, The Brains Behind The Remarkable Political Triumph Of George W. Bush, Rove was born Dec. 25, 1950 in Denver, CO. Dubose alleges that Rove lived in Colorado with his family until 1963, when he moved to Salt Lake City, UT. According to Dubose, the shadowy figure entered politics in college, quickly moving through the ranks to become the chairman of the College Republican National Committee at age 22...read on


Above: This rare photo depicts the man Bush Administration critics are calling "Karl Rove."

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[Nikki Stone 1]

1. This is not as outlandish as it appears. Makes it funny and scary.

When the Onion sounds like almost reality, it's clear that the insanity has gone too far.

[Renew Deal]

2. Too funny

That's classic.

[spuddonna]

3. LMAO That's hilarious...

I needed that! :) Haven't stopped by the Onion for awhile... They really are awesome...

[rndmprsn]

4. AM kick