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At the GOP School for Scandal, Monica trumps Rove

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Montauk6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:34 AM
Original message
At the GOP School for Scandal, Monica trumps Rove
http://www.smmirror.com/MainPages/DisplayArticleDetails.asp?eid=1169
Steve Stajich, Mirror contributing writer

(One can only hope that this is tongue-in-cheek)

You hear it at least once a week: The plaintive moan of a fellow American befuddled by our nation’s odd sense of priorities. It comes out this way: “I can’t believe they tried to impeach Clinton for Monica and yet this gets nothing!”

“This” being, among other things, the WMDs, the Iraq invasion, 25,000 Iraqi civilians dead, Halliburton’s theft of American tax dollars, Bush family connections to Saudis or cartels, the plundering of the environment, armor and supplies for fighting troops, Bush’s military service records, connections to the Swift Boat monkeys -- I’ll stop here to save space.

Now, of course, it’s Karl Rove. With the heat (“Hello, Kyoto…?”) causing more people to sit in the shade and dwell on things, folks are asking “How did they whip up impeachment proceedings against Clinton on an act of oral gratification, and now there’s no pressure on Rove or the White House that protects him?”

I don’t have the answer, exactly… but it might be worthwhile to compare the events side by side, and see why Clinton and Monica brought on impeachment hearings while the Bush White House enjoys an unlimited supply of “Get Out of Everything FREE” cards.

National Security

This first one’s a no-brainer. Rove blowing the cover of a CIA operative only means possible death to that agent, death to other agents around that agent, and compromised missions that might include more death. However, a nation that allows its President to enjoy extramarital oral sex without punishment would be saying to its youth “Your parents and their parents before them were sexually repressed, but you don’t have to be.” And that message would destroy us from the inside out. So you had to at least try to impeach Clinton.

Breaking the Law

So far, Rove and Bush have made it clear they’re only interested in arguments pertaining to a crime. The press is helping them by repeating over and over again, “While Rove may not have committed a crime…”. But Bill Clinton did commit a crime: He had consensual sex outside of marriage and enjoyed it. Even in his book, there’s next to nothing about guilt over Monica. You must have guilt about extramarital sex. That’s a law that I’m sure is written down somewhere.

Stopping Government

Rove’s lying and his boss protecting Rove’s lying and the both of them being right out in front of the world doing it on videotape merely reinforces the existing image the world has of the current administration and their regard for the acuity of the citizens they serve. But Clinton earnestly tried to keep his sexual activities a secret. He pounded his fist and said, “I never did this, I never did that…” and brought government to a halt. Instead, he should have done what the current administration does: Caught in a lie, you carry on with your invasions and proceed as though nothing is wrong. The media will help you by setting the whole thing to dramatic music and graphics, literally drowning out any hew or cry regarding phony intelligence.

Heat and Other Thermal Properties

Karl Rove is a weasel, and weasels aren’t sexy. In popular vernacular, they’re not “hot,” Clinton was hot, but he broke the threshold of thermal pain for us when it turned out he was, in fact, as sexually active as we all dreamed he was. He was a fireball, and that’s powerful. So naturally, he was hosed down to a cooler temperature by the Republicans. Let me rephrase that: We all know he was hosed by the Republicans.
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deadparrot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:39 AM
Response to Original message
1. BEWARE OF THE CLENIS!
You will bow down.

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Miss Chybil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:40 AM
Response to Original message
2. I don't know what it is about the genetic make-up of an American - US of A
type, but it does seem so much easier for us to get away with killing people than it does to be sleeping with them, doesn't it?
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Montauk6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:45 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. Well, if we use the movies as an example
Look at all the restrictions involving sex that can get an X-rating.

Now, look at the violence; think about it, what depiction of violence would push a film past R?

Or look at the games. Grand Theft Auto is very violent with some (iirc) sex thrown in. Kids play this.

But let's say there was a game called Wedding Night, featuring you know what, where you control positions, techniques, etc. How many mainstream stores do you think would stock something like that?
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Miss Chybil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #6
12. Weird, isn't it. Is there a culture that would promote the "Wedding Night"
game over, say, the movie "Pulp Fiction?"
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evlbstrd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:41 AM
Response to Original message
3. Huge tongue in a gargantuan cheek.
How can you miss it? A complete slam at the administration.
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Miss Chybil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:41 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. It's called satire.
The truth is often spoken in jest.
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evlbstrd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:42 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Duh.
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Montauk6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:54 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. Forgive my temporary lack of a sense of humor
But at this late late LATE date, the only thing I want to see in print about that whole bunch of nothin' is (TINFOIL ALERT) an smoking-gun exposé of Monica's ties to the GOP. Other than that, all humor value (if there was any to begin with, because everyone seemed to have a good laugh while a failed coup d'etat was taking place) has been thoroughly milked out of this.

It's dead, it's over, let it rest, let it be, write some words of wisdom, let it be...
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evlbstrd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. I believe that your original post asked if the piece was tongue in cheek.
I thought it was obvious satire. And a good one. Satire is a powerful weapon. Maybe it's not the one for you.
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emulatorloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:39 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. the "Know Your News" quiz at the bottom is another big old clue. . .
This guy is hilarious

<snip>

This Week’s “Know Your News” Quiz



1) The Governator continues to have ties with

(a) the muscle supplements industry.

(b) large talking cheeses.

(c) mutants from planet Clunko 7.



2) Rocker Courtney Love may have had

(a) a fainting spell.

(b) a drug overdose.

(c) a hard look at her resume.



3) Hot weather caused

(a) several power emergencies.

(b) Huell Howser to stay home.

(c) no change in car radio volumes.



Answer Key



1) (a) “Have a glass of Bicep Bomb…”

2) (a) or (b) “I drank some Bicep Bomb…”

3) (a) “No ice. Want a warm Bicep Bomb?”

<snip>
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Montauk6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 08:01 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. You know, I TOTALLY missed that part.
I AM getting old!
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emulatorloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:40 AM
Response to Original message
10. What a riot -- thanks for posting
I needed a good laugh on Sunday morning, and this fits the bill -- an excellent satire.
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