Bush Vows To Eliminate U.S. Dependence On Oil By 4920

[MadisonProgressive]

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush unveiled an aggressive initiative Monday that would make the U.S. free of petroleum dependence by the year 4920, less than three millennia from now.


Above: President Bush presents his plan for our nation's far future.
"Our mission is clear," Bush said in a speech delivered at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. "We must free ourselves from dependence on fossil fuels within 85 generations. A cleaner, safer America is my vision. And it is our great, great—great-times-80 grandchildren who will realize that vision."

Bush promised a legislative package that would mandate severe cuts in oil-production subsidies and provide new funding for alternative-energy research and development. According to the timetable he presented, these bills could be introduced as early as 3219, and U.S. energy consumers could start to see radical changes by the early 42nd century.

"If we don't end our dependence on oil by 4920, when will we end it? 5580? By then, it may be too late," Bush said.

EDITED BY ADMIN: COPYRIGHT

[Vickers]

1. "I worry that the timetable he proposes is far too ambitious"

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[SharonRB]

2. LOL -- so sad, so sad.

[MaineDem]

3. You're on a roll today

:)

[politicaholic]

4. LMAO!!!!!

:rofl:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

5. I love this line:

"Mobil Oil has already made great strides in protecting the precious air and water within the television-commercial environment."

:7

[Doo_Revolution]

6. So funny and astounding!!

......If it wasn't true. :scared:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

7. By the way, unless you wrote this, it should be credited to the Onion

and limited to four paragraphs with a link.

When I wrote my first message, I didn't realize that it's their headline story this week.

[MadisonProgressive]

10. How do you play a joke if you tell the punchline first?

I guess I could have put the credit at the very end of the article. I thought the 4 paragraph rule was only a breaking news rule.:shrug:

[NMDemDist2]

8. MadisonProgressive

please review the copyright rules

Copyrights: Do not copy-and-paste entire articles onto this discussion forum. When referencing copyrighted work, post a short excerpt (not exceeding 4 paragraphs) with a link back to the original.

thank you.

[Cascadian]

9. Just like the ice roads that melt in the spring.

This man is not of this world. I am almost convinced of that!

:banghead:


John

[geckosfeet]

11. :-)