DUer Editorial in the Dallas Morning News - conservative "family values"

powergirl

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Wed Aug-17-05 11:39 AM
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DUer Editorial in the Dallas Morning News - conservative "family values"

Below is a column that I wrote that was published in today's Dallas Morning News. I've included the link - but I copied it in its entirety since it is my original writing. I hope ya'll like it.

Jean Power: You can never go home again

Don't subject children to the good ol' days - they weren't all that good

05:34 AM CDT on Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Many politicians proclaim, in the most incendiary of ways, that the breakdown of the family unit is the cause of all things bad with this country. Learned and educated leaders tout alleged fixes to the system by suggesting that, among other things, the increase in the number of divorces and the prevalence of homosexuals raising children is eroding our very moral fiber.

Those who express their concern in this manner cling to the image of June Cleaver cooking up a roast while wearing pearls and heels and dutifully waiting for her sartorially correct husband's return from work. These illusions of happiness, of which so many fundamentalists dream, are betrayed by the facts.

During the 1950s, those times so reflected upon by the nostalgic "family values" crowd, communities were fraught with bigotry, sexism and inequality. Schools were segregated and women could not go to the college of their choice.

Homosexuals remained closeted and feigned heterosexuality to avoid losing their jobs and possibly their freedom � via psychiatric institutionalization and criminal penalties. Many would marry and have children to create the illusion of the happy family, while subjecting themselves and their families to miserable lives trapped in confusion and deceit.

As recently as the 1970s (a scant 30 years ago), in the state of Texas, children born to unmarried women were denied the ability to sue their biological fathers for child support, so great was the stigma of illegitimacy.

During those times of yore, looked upon so favorably by national and local leaders, many women could not find jobs that paid a living wage. Women did not get divorced because it was not "proper," and to do so would result in the likely tragic result of ostracism, destitution and impoverishment for them and their children. Women and children were sentenced to remain in homes filled with physical abuse, emotional turmoil and infidelity, merely as a means of survival.

There are laws in other states, and there has been open discussion by leaders of this state, to make it more difficult to obtain a divorce by eliminating "no fault" divorces and requiring couples to openly, in public courts, make accusations against each other to justify getting a divorce. What's in it for the children? If parents cannot make their marriage work, should any child be forced to live with parents who have been forced into a very humiliating public feud? In the most extreme of circumstances, should children be required to endure violence inflicted upon themselves or other family members?

The voters of the state of Texas will be faced with a constitutional amendment that purports to save families by effectively preventing homosexuals from marrying. On the surface, perhaps this does not seem such an imposition. But what's in it for the children? Will this really preserve families? Are children of homosexual parents any less worthy than other children in this state? Should they not be allowed to inherit from a deceased parent, sue in civil court if their sole caretaker is disabled or receive child support?

In 2000, 2,219 divorce petitions affecting 1,775 children were filed in Collin County. Will these laws stop divorces? Will these laws stop homosexuality?

What's in it for the children? Nothing but the stigmatization of innocent children and irreparable emotional harm.

I have been a divorce and family law attorney for over 16 years. I have represented a range of clients from the poorest and most vulnerable in our community to the $1 million-plus wage earner. The common thread of all of my clients is the fact that children always suffer more than any parent. A child needs support � not ostracism, not acrimony � when his or her family disintegrates.

To let these attitudes, biases and prejudices prevail will cause our laws that protect children to regress.

I am not willing to gamble on our children by retreating to the arcane and hurtful norms of eras past. Instead, I want all of our children to live without fear or shame and to have the same opportunity to succeed. After all, children don't get to pick their parents.

Jean Power is a Plano attorney and a Voices of Collin County volunteer columnist. Her e-mail address is jp@iadvocate.com.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/city/collin/opinion/stories/DN-collin_voices_17edi.ART.Collin_County.Edition2.1390d760.html

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