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Under the Patriot Act, any strong arm of law enforcement has the right to enter your home while you sleep while you are out to enter covertly and search under suspicion you might be hiding something under the bed among your boxers or thongs on your computer among the porn.
Are you patriotic? Do you submit lists of what you read to the F.B.I. without waiting to be asked? Do you spy on your neighbors checking if they play Middle Eastern music if they smoke other than tobacco if they read the wrong books –all u.s. right thinking people know what they are. If they have too much sex or sex of the wrong kind – all u.s. right thinking people know exactly what we mean. Do you believe in the separation of Church and Hate? Evil our President says is everywhere and obvious and must be invaded mostly by Black adolescents whose morality is dubious anyway unless they die as heroes. They’ll come home to unemployment if they do come home.
We, your born-again FBI have collected receipts from your restaurant meals for the past five years. You have ordered hummus six times, falafel twice and lamb four times which is suspect because your President eats only beef and ham. What are you planning to do with that sesame tahini you purchased at Stop & Slop? Can you justify this act?
Your credit card records indicate you purchased 8 bags of fertilizer on April 11 at 17 hundred oh 8. Fertilizer can make bombs. You also purchased nails -- material for anti-personnel devices. Who but a terrorist would need these dangerous supplies?
You have turned off the television 48 times while Our President spoke words of wisdom and Christian endeavor. During the State of the Union address you were observed on your couch making derogatory faces and obscene remarks. You have emailed quotes from our sacred leader miscalling him Shrub. This is now punishable by death. You may not criticize the President nor his lady Laura nor his omniscient veep the great grey Cheney of oil nor the secretary of defense Our Donald whose brain shines bright as titanium solid between his perked up ears into which every men’s and women’s room in the country is directly bugged. You may be detained on suspicion of being suspicious You want to protest? That’s grounds enough. You are under arrest. You have no right to remain silent, to seek counsel or to defend yourself. Welcome to the New Inquisition.
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