Where could I get a cheap, used Moran costume?

[democrank]

Although I don`t know the governor of California, I`m starting to get pumped up. Why, you ask? Because of all the intrigue wafting through the Republican Party. These folks have the C.I.A., the F.B.I., the DOJ, the NRA, some private Minutemen and a few crystal cathedrals. I`m ready to infiltrate on an intelligence gathering mission for the good of my party. Problem is, I look exactly like one of those old fashioned liberal Democrats you`re always getting warned about...patched overalls, unkempt gray hair, flower power in a canning jar on my porch... so I`m certain I`d stand out in a Republican crowd. Here`s where the Moran costume comes in.

I`m not what you`d call a fussy woman, but I`d like to limit my Moran costume search to two particular areas: church lady or war hawk. The church lady costume needs to be subdued. No loud patterns, just something mid-calf that won`t cause alarm. I have material for my religious sign...GOD HATES STEM CELL RESEARCHERS AND PEACENIKS. If I end up on the war hawk side of my two choices, I`ll need a guy`s three-piece suit, striped, plus a recreational Hummer with a WHAT`S THEIR SAND DOING ON OUR OIL? bumpersticker. If possible, I`d like a sign that says: HEY FALLUJAH... DISOBEY NUMBER ONE AND YOU GET THE BOMB.

This clandestine operation will be a period of great difficulty for me because I`ll have to go from a lifetime of non-violence to being an instant supporter of wiring up prisoners` genitals and bombing entire neighborhoods. War will get the new name of peace and killing people will be called bringing freedom.

So, if you`re watching one of Bush`s fake town hall meetings on CNN and in the middle of the lovefest you see someone stand up and scream toward Bush... "Where were you in `72?"...that might be me.

[bonito]

1. Just put a sign on your forehead. You think for me!

[MadisonProgressive]

2. bahdursh!

:rofl:

[catnhatnh]

3. Mullets B Us??? N/T

[Nikki Stone 1]

4. Don't forget the Jesus fish on your SUV

Especially if you end up in Orange County. You must also learn to drive at 90mph and to cut people off.

[TroglodyteScholar]

5. I'd look on Ebay

Lots of cheap used clothing there, and plenty of it is sure to be repub-chic. Hint: use "conservative" as a keyword along with whatever item you want. ;)

[stevedeshazer]

6. May I suggest...

Mrs. George W. Bush's Guide to Republican Glamour?

http://bettybowers.com/bushglam.html

[LittleClarkie]

7. Buy an outfit two sizes too small

make sure both your gut and your buttcrack show. If you're a guy, stop shaving. Don't forget the beater shirt and the grease stains on the beater shirt.

Black out a couple o teeth and you should be all set.

[stevedeshazer]

8. For the war hawk in you, may I suggest...

[blue sky at night]

9. If you don't watch out, you know..........

you will be "outed" by the "brain" behind "bu$H", and you know that can't be much fun.

BTW, the DU spell check rocks......the Word "Bu$H" is spelled correctly!!! Have I mentioned tonight how much I love these people!!