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Find a large white flag and flag pole. Wait for a Cat. 3 Storm, or bigger, head outside, wearing bright orange-yellow PJs, preferably with the gloves on a string so you don't lose them, and if you have them, bunny slippers on one foot and an army boot on the other. Put on a reflector belt used by traffic crossing guards at grade schools. Make sure that you are wearing the proper head-dress - either a faux- indian-styled feather hat, or in the alternative, a welder's helmet with Snoopy ears. and three large corn cobs shoved under the top.
properly attired, you are almost ready. Wait for any lightning and thunder to die down.
Head to a major intersection in a highly populated section of your town or city, then start screaming at the top of your lungs, "I want Scottie! I want Scottie." over and over again, while waving the flag over your head. if nothing happens after a few minutes, try exposing yourself and pissing into the wind and repeating the above while hopping on your left foot (the one with the bunny slipper). Flipping your feather wig or your welding helmet around makes a stronger impression.
While I cannot guarantee that you will meet with Scott McClellan or anyone else in the White House, you are sure to grab the attention of some public officials fairly soon.
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translation. It is a bit nuts to believe that any common person such as you or I has the audacity, much less the right, to contact these White House people. It just isn't done. There are those in power, and the rest of America. We fall into the latter category.
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