BARBARA BUSH RELOCATED .. Away From Cameras, Microphones

[underpants]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/default.asp

Just days after former First Lady Barbara Bush made widely publicized remarks about people made homeless by Hurricane Katrina, the White House said today that Mrs. Bush had been moved to “a new location away from television cameras and microphones.”

“She will be much more comfortable in this new location, surrounded by armed guards on a 24-hour basis, than she was at her compound in Kennebunkport,” said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. “This is working very well for her.”


While the White House took credit for its success in relocating Mrs. Bush, some congressional critics argued that it did not act quickly enough to relocate the outspoken former First Lady.

“This was an emergency situation,” said Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del). “They should have relocated her the minute she opened her piehole,”

For her part, the former First Lady remained out of view, but released the following official statement: “I am doing well, but I remain envious of those who were relocated after Hurricane Katrina – boy, do those folks have a sweet deal.”

[Missy M]

1. FUNNY - Oh, if only it were true!!!!

[underpants]

2. FOX REPORTS BAD NEWS White House Demands Investigation

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1211&srch=


In a stunning departure from its standard operating procedure, the Fox News Channel began reporting bad news last week, startling its viewers and prompting the White House to launch a full-fledged investigation of the cable news giant.

Initially, the White House elected to take a “wait and see” attitude towards Fox’s foray into reporting bad news, hoping perhaps that the network’s decision to report stories that were unflattering to the government was merely an aberration, or perhaps the result of a clerical error.

"This is the sort of monkey business we expect to see from CNN or MSNBC, but not Fox,” a visibly agitated White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters on Monday. “If Fox continues to report bad news, it could very well have its license revoked.”


Later, Mr. Bush softened his tone somewhat, telling reporters that the White House “must wean itself from its dependence on Fox and must develop alternative sources of news.”

Elsewhere, moments after Sen. Hilary Clinton (D-NY) called for an investigation of the government’s emergency response, the White House agreed to launch an investigation of Sen. Clinton.

[lateo]

3. Very funny

[rhett o rick]

4. Poor Barbara, she so wants to be part of the aristocracy. But she is

just a rich bumpkin as are the rest of her family. Nancy Reagan never liked the Bush's because she thought they were pretend aristocrats.

[robbedvoter]

5. Ningo. All the money and opportunities couldn't put a veneer on the

craven mean and rude nature of BFEE. No matter how much their entourage covers their noses, they stink to high heaven.

[underpants]

6. That's funny because the Bush ARE the aristocracy

They Reagan's just played the part on television.

[Contrary1]

7. And the other residents of Kennebunkport are saying:

"What We're hearing which is sort of scary is that Babs wants to stay in Kennebunkport."

[yellowcanine]

8. Hopefully she gets free enemas.

[Contrary1]

9. I disagree...

I believe she should be denied all recreational activities.

[gratuitous]

10. Where'd they find a tug big enough?

Moving that barge would require the combined efforts of the entire Army Corps of Engineers.

[mitchum]

11. She'll be happy as long as there is a wet bar

[tinfoilinfor2005]

12. Thanks for the laugh!

Too bad lockjaw isn't one of the diseases running rampant in the areas she visited.