The Onion: Bush Nominates First-Trimester Fetus To Supreme Court

[Buck Turgidson]

WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference Monday, President Bush named a 72-day-old gestating fetus as his nominee to fill the Supreme Court seat that opened following the death of Chief Justice William Rehnquist.

"Already, this experienced and capable embryo has demonstrated during his or her in utero existence a deep commitment to the core principles of the Constitution," Bush said. "It is with great pride that I nominate this unborn American patriot to the highest court in the land."

If confirmed by Congress, the bean-sized vertebrate would be the nation's first prenatal Supreme Court justice.

The unnamed fetus, who made headlines only three weeks ago when he or she was appointed to the Virginia State Supreme Court after working at a private law practice for five hours, has enjoyed a meteoric career in American jurisprudence. A remarkable prodigy who graduated from Georgetown Law School mere days after his or her neural folds fused, the nominee reportedly shares much of the conservative, pro-business philosophy of the Bush White House.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40512

[Sabriel]

1. That doesn't come close to their other headline

Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40525

I don't know why, but it makes me laugh helplessly.

[ingac70]

2. The writers at The Onion are PROPHETS!!!

Proof.....

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

Check out the date on this one!