Good Christian Republic Parenting

[renie408]

I put this on the General Discussion board, too, but I am posting here because this is where I mainly hang out on the DU.

I am not sure that this is the exact place to do this, but I have drawn some parallels between a problem I have had with the mother of some friends of my kids and the fact that she is a Republican. The back story is that these people moved near us about 18 months ago and have a ten year old daughter and a thirteen year old son. We have a nine year old daughter and a fourteen year old son. The kids became friends. For over a year now, I have picked their daughter up when I pick up mine and have brought her back to my house and kept her until the mother gets off from work. I offered to do this because they were leaving her at home alone for the two hours between when she got home and the son got home. Her mother is a freeper, but I have managed to avoid discussing politics and allowed the kids to just be kids and play. Over the summer, I began to notice some REALLY weird stuff. First, the thirteen year old son has his fourteen year old girlfriend over to spend the night or is at her house to spend the night just about every weekend. They are allowed to sleep on the sofa downstairs in the den together. Alone. While everyone else has gone to bed. Then, the last time my daughter spent the night, the father got into a fight with the son and chased him down the street. He didn't catch him and the son came back not to long after and they all sat down to dinner like nothing had happened. Then this past Saturday, we reluctantly allowed our daughter to go over there again. The mom had also invited several other kids and needed to go out, so she packed six kids and herself into her five passenger Hyundai Santa Fe and off she went. My daughter explained that she was not allowed to ride in the front seat with the airbag, so she got to ride IN THE HATCHBACK WITH NO SEATBELT. Because of course, being thrown out of the back to her death would bother me less than having her neck broken. I confronted the mother and said that this bothered me deeply and that I was sorry, but after everything that had happened, my kids would not be allowed to come to her house. She just sent me this email (I changed all the names to generic pronouns, so it might be hard to follow):

>>I want to apologize again for Saturday and I understand that your daughter can no longer spend the night, ride with me or in any other way be in my care and I respect your wishes. We can sever all ties if that is what you think is best….but you know in your heart that I would never put either of your girls in danger.



My brother called yesterday morning with an emergency…he was going out of town and his wife had gotten called in to the hospital due to some patient issues with their pacemakers. He needed me to pick up my nephew from his football game by 9:30. I told him my situation with children and cars and we talked about it and made a conscious decision to go backroads so there wouldn’t be traffic…especially that early in the morning. My other nephew was running to the car but my daughter and her friend beat him to the back. Your daughter was asked by the girls to get in the back seat but insisted she sit in the back too. My nephew, being the polite child that he is, let them have a “turn”. We went Doby Bridge across Kimbrell and down a block on 160 to the Fort Mill Middle School to pick up my other nephew.



My nephews rode in the back to Bojangles and home. Your daughter rode in the back from my house to your house to bring the girls home after your husband called.



As much as I love your daughter and her friend they couldn’t have been in a safer vehicle because I had MY daughter and 3 nephews with me…4 out of 5 of the most precious people in my life. If we had thought there would be any danger to any of our children Scott would have cancelled his trip out of town. I have successfully maneuvered I-77 and downtown Charlotte traffic during rush hour for the past 25 years without incident – Saturday morning in Indian Land was barren.



I want to make sure you clearly understand that I never “told” the girls they had to ride in the back. There were seats with seat belts available at all times for them. If I had known you felt that strongly I would have insisted they ride in the back seat…and wish your daughter had told me that was her rule.<<

First, let me say that the only thing she apologized for was my being upset. Second, both the girls that were not hers told her they were not allowed to ride in the front with the airbag. Third, there have been two other times when I have stated in no uncertain terms that I did not think it was safe to have kids in the back and have driven my kids myself so that no one would have to ride there. Fourth, my husband was home the whole time and we live less than 1/2 a mile away from them. Lastly...I only have one daughter.


OK..the political moral to this whole thing is that Republicans really ARE crazy. They really can convince themselves of things like "we shouldn't point fingers" and "we went to war because we had been attacked on 9/11" and "If I have people I love in the car and drive safely, it is inconceivable that I could be in a car wreck and therefore everyone with me is safe."

After receiving the email, I called her and told her that part of the reason I was not allowing the kids to go back over there was the situation with the girlfriend and that I didn't want my kids to be exposed to that and to remotely think it was normal behavior. She then got VERY upset and said that they were 'good Christian kids' and that how could I, an admitted ATHEIST, comment on her parenting???

I am still trying to sort that one out. Sorry for it being so long, but I had to vent and there has to be SOMETHING to the fact that this woman is a devoted Bushie and is also completely INSANE.

[Roland99]

1. Be sure you have a good sit-down conversation with your children...

and explain why they will not be playing with the other kids anymore.

[renie408]

2. I did

My son is mature for his age and understood very well. He has been distancing himself from the other boy on his own anyway. The last time he was over there, the mother was at work and the girlfriend and boyfriend went up to his room and left my son downstairs watching TV. He got very uncomfortable and after about thirty minutes just came on home. That was about two weeks ago and he hasn't been hanging out with the other kid since.

It is harder for my daughter because she really likes the other girl. They were 'best friends'. I tried to explain that it didn't have anything at all to do with the little girl and that it was not HER fault, either. She was really upset because she was the one who told my husband and felt like it was her fault. I just said that sometimes people have different ways of doing things and if its too different, it makes it hard for families to be friends. I tried hard to not make it sound like I was making a judgement on the other woman, but I am not sure how well I did.

[Roland99]

7. Gonna be a bit of a rough road w/her for a bit. She'll adjust, eventually

[dflprincess]

3. "but insisted she sit in the back too"

I love that - it's your daughter's fault because she wanted to sit in the back.

Years ago I had a Civic hatchback and my nieces and newphew always wanted to sit in the back. It never happened because I was the adult and, if they were riding in my car, they were riding in the backseat, with their seatbelts on so they were as safe as I could possibly make them (that car didn't have airbags, so sometimes they were in the front seat - but in a booster seat with the belt on). This held true for their friends as well. Responsible adults know when to tell a child "no".

[renie408]

8. I told her on the phone that it was a damn good thing my kid

had not insisted on driving.

[Beaver Tail]

4. Her e-mail is pathetic. - I Rant

What a melodramatic way for trying to make you feel guilty.

She is the adult and it was her responsibility to ensure the children we all safe. It is our responsibility to teach children safety (something she seems to fail in) because between fun and safety, most kids will pick fun first. Children do not consider their own safety ½ the time and want to do what their friends do and be where their friends are

Anyway, it would not be her driving that I would be concerned about. It is the drunk driver or the racing vehicle that would concern me. Her qualities as a “good drive” are irrelevant. She can’t stop that drunk driver about to run the stop sign or the tire that blows out on the interstate.

As for too many in the van, she should have sent children home if there was not enough room in the van. It was irresponsible of her to put children in that unsafe position and myopic to think she is not to blame.

[renie408]

9. I wish I could have taped the phone conversation

I said pretty much what you did and told her that the number one cause of death for children was car accidents. She kept saying, basically, "But I wasn't going to have an accident." It did not matter if everyone else was a bad driver, she had not planned an accident for that day, so she wasn't going to have one.

[Beaver Tail]

11. Did you ask her if God was her co-pilot?

Seeing she is so Christian she should know "God has a plan he reviles to no one" and “only God knows what will happen in the future”. Unless she IS God there is no way of her knowing if someone will hit her.

Ignorant twit she is.

She is just as bad as immortal teenagers. “Nothing will happen to me”.

I swear people should need to write a parenting test before being allowed to raise kids.

[July]

5. Oh, the old Christian's Free Pass.

They are automatically right because they are "good Christians" (self-described), while you are automatically wrong and unqualified to comment on her parenting because you are an atheist.

It's a copout used to shut down conversation. If it comes up again, tell her the only person she's fooling is herself.

[renie408]

10. That is what really made me stop and think...

I have a tendency to think that everybody is pretty much like me, give or take a religious or political belief. I think that everybody puts kids under seatbelts and obeys speed limits when there are kids in the car and basically puts kids first. I pretty much think most people are logical and have roughly the same moral values, maybe just a different approach to them a little bit here and there.

When she said that thing about the kids being good Christians and that, basically, I had no business commenting on their behavior because I was an atheist, I realized that she was WAYYYY different from me. Way different. Scary different. It made me realize that I have been lazy about vetting the other families my kids have been exposed to. I am not sure that seeing SOME crazy people isn't good for stimulating discussion, but I am going to be much more careful about how actually watches over them in the future.

[Goblinmonger]

6. Don't you hate it

when they pull out the atheist bit when they have nothing else to say. Like just by saying it they have made the point that you sacrifice babies in your basement and have orgies with your extended family (you don't do you?).

You done good in keeping your kids away from that madness.

[raccoon]

12. Yes, and of course they're "saved" and therefore, better than you. nt