Dubya’s New Initiative - Legalize Terrorism….......

[global1]

March 9, 2006 (MTI) - In a press conference held today by pResident G.W. Bush he announced a new initiative to legalize terrorism. He said he got the idea from the folks that want to legalize drugs. He said “Removing legal penalties of terrorism would alleviate many of the biggest political problems that effect the world today.” He asked the ‘merikun people if they are ready to stop wringing their hands and start solving problems?

He went on to list the following benefits of legalization of terrorism:

1. Legalizing terrorism would make our streets and homes safer.

The theoretical and statistical links between terrorism and crime are well established. In a 4 1/2-year study since 9/11 it was found that a 10 percent increase in the price of weapons alone "produced an increase of 3.1 percent total property crimes in rich and democratic countries". He said “the reasons are not difficult to understand. When governments restrict the will of terrorists - the price of terrorism rises. He went on to say, in 1984, a rocket launcher worth $4000 in Afghanistan sold at wholesale for $30,000, and at retail in the United States for some $300,000. He said that at the time a Defense Department spokesman noted, matter-of-factly, that the wholesale price doubled in six months "due to crackdowns on producers and smugglers in the Middle East and the U.S."

He further stated that the unhappy consequence is that terrorism also rises, for at least four reasons:

* Terrorist must shell out hundreds of times the cost of goods, so they often must turn to crime to finance their weaponry. The higher the price goes, the more they need to steal to buy the same amount.

* At the same time, those who deal or purchase the stuff find themselves carrying extremely valuable goods, and become attractive targets for assault by other terrorists.

* Military and others suspected of being informants for law enforcement quickly become targets for reprisals.

* Countries become literally a battleground for "turf" among competing weapons dealers, as control over a particular oil field can net millions of additional terrorist dollars per day.
Conversely, if and when terrorism is legalized, the price of oil will collapse and so will the sundry oil-related motivations to commit crime. Consumers will no longer need to steal to support their oil habits. A gallon of gas will be as tempting to grab from its owner as a pack of cigarettes is today. And the illegal terrorists will be pushed out of the retail market by known retailers.

He went on to say, “when terrorism becomes legal, we will be able to sleep in our homes and walk the streets more safely.” He quoted a letter-writer to the National Inquirer that put it this way, "law-abiding citizens will be able to enjoy not living in fear of assault and burglary."

2. It would put an end to prison overcrowding and torture

Prison overcrowding is a serious and persistent problem. It makes the prison environment, violent and faceless to begin with, even more dangerous and dehumanizing.
According to the 2004 Statistical Abstract of the United States, between 2001 and 2003 the number of people in terrorist prisons like Guantanamo grew by 57.8 percent, nine times faster than the general population.
Governments at all levels keep building more prisons, but the number of prisoners keeps outpacing the capacity to hold them.

He posed that “legalizing terrorism would immediately relieve the pressure on the prison system, since there would no longer be ‘illegal terrorists’ to incarcerate. And, since many terrorists would no longer need to commit violent or property crime, there would be fewer ‘real’ criminals to house in the first place.” Bush went on to say “And that means – less torture.” Instead of building more prisons, we could pocket the money and still be safer.

3. Terrorist legalization would free up military resources to fight crimes against people and property.

The considerable military efforts now expended against terrorist activity and terrorist -related crime could be redirected toward innocent people to make them fall in line and become patriots or suffer the consequences if they don’t.

4. It would unclog the court system.

To explain this he elaborated, “If you are accused of terrorism, it takes years to bring you to trial. Guilty or innocent, you must live with the anxiety of impending trial until the trial finally begins. There simply aren't enough judges to handle the skyrocketing caseload.” Eliminating terrorism as a type of crime, Bush said “this legislation would wipe tens of thousands of cases off the court dockets across the continent and world permitting the prosecution of non-patriotic citizens to move sooner and faster.” He went on to say, “Prosecutors would have more time to handle each case; judges could make more considered opinions.”

5. It would reduce official corruption.

Through firsthand experience he said, “errorist related political corruption takes one of two major forms. Governments can offer terrorists protection in their countries for a share of the profits (or demand a share under threat of exposure). Or they can seize terrorist's weapons for sale themselves.”

The astronomical profits from the illegal terrorist trade are a powerful incentive on the part of governments to partake from the proceeds.

Legalizing terrorism outright would eliminate this inducement to corruption and help to clean up the politician’s images. .

6. Legalization would save tax money.

He stated that, “efforts to interdict terrorism alone cost billions and billions of $ since 9/11. If we add the cost of incarcerating and torturing terrorists the tab runs even higher. The crisis in terrorist inmate housing would disappear, saving taxpayers the expense of building more prisons like Guantanamo or Abu Garhab in the future.”
As I've noted earlier Bush said, “savings would be redirected toward better protection of ‘merikuns. Or it could be converted into savings for taxpayers. Or the federal portion of the costs could be applied toward the budget deficit. For a change, it's a happy problem to ponder. But it takes legalization of terrorism to make it possible.”

7. It would cripple corporate crime.

The Exxon’s and Halliburton’s of the world and main stream media news outlets like Fox, CNN and MSNBC would stand to lose billions in profits from legalization of terrorism. On a per-capita basis, corporations and high ranking management of corporations, particularly at the top, stand to lose the most from legalizing terrorism.

Main stream media became big business in the United States after 9/11. Few others would risk providing the news in a way that was deceitful, condescending and fear laden. When terrorism is legalized, reputable news organization can take over. The risk and the high profits of spreading fear will be taken out of the mix.

Legalizing terrorism would knock out a huge prop from under corporate crime. Weapons smugglers and terrorist bombers would have to go above board. There simply wouldn't be enough other terrorist endeavors to employ them all.

On this benefit of the legalization of terrorism he declared, “If we are concerned about the influence of corporations on government, industry and our own personal safety, we could strike no single more damaging blow against today's corporations than to legalize terrorism.”

8. Legal terrorism would be safer. Legalization is a consumer protection issue.

On this eight benefit of legalizing terrorism he went on to state, “Because it is illegal, the terrorist trade today lacks many of the consumer safety features common to other markets: instruction sheets, warning labels, product quality control, manufacturer accountability. Driving it underground makes any product, including weapons, more dangerous than it needs to be. Nobody denies that currently illegal weapons can be dangerous. But so can aspirin, countless other over-the-counter drugs and common household items; yet the proven hazards of matches, modeling glue and lawn mowers are not used as reasons to make them all illegal.”

“Heck” Bush said, “practically anything can kill if used in certain ways. Like RPG’s and other ordnances, salt can make you sick or dead if you take enough of it. The point is to learn what the threshold is, and to keep below it. That many things can kill is not a reason to prohibit them all--it is a reason to find out how to handle products to provide the desired action safely. The same goes for weapons.”

“Today's terrorist literally doesn't know what he's buying. The stuff is so valuable that sellers have an incentive to "cut" corners in manufacturing the products destruction with foreign materials that look like the real thing but aren’t. Most street bombs are old and precarious to handle.”

Since quality varies greatly, terrorists can never be really sure how much to use to produce the desired effects. If you're used to a 15 percent kill rate and use a 30 percent kill rate product, suddenly you've nearly doubled your chances of getting killed in a suicide bombing.

Manufacturers offering weapons on the open market would face different incentives than terrorists. They rely on name-brand recognition to build market share, and on customer loyalty to maintain it. There would be a powerful incentive to provide a product of uniform quality: killing customers or losing them to competitors is not a proven way to success. Today, weapons dealers can make so much off a single sale that the incentive to cultivate a clientele is weak.
Weapons dealers don't provide labels or instructions, let alone mailing addresses or help desks. The illegal nature of the business makes such things unnecessary or dangerous to the enterprise. After legalization, weapons manufacturer’s could safely try to win each other's customers--or guard against liability suits--with better customer service, information and more reliable products.

As long as customers know what they're getting and what it does, they can adjust their plotting and scheming to obtain the intended effect safely.

He affirmed, “information is the best protection against the potential hazards of terrorism or any other product. Legalizing terrorism would promote consumer health and safety.”

9. Legalization would halt the erosion of other personal liberties.

From firsthand experience again he said that, “The federal government has pressured foreign countries to grant access to bank records so it can check for "laundered" drug money. Because weapons dealers handle lots of cash, domestic banks are now required to report cash deposits over $10,000 to the Internal Revenue Service for evidence of illicit profit.”

The concerns (excesses?) that led to all of these would disappear ipso facto with terrorism legalization. Before terrorism became big business, investors could put their money in secure banks abroad without fear of harassment. Mom-and-pop stores could deposit their cash receipts unafraid that they might look like criminals.

What this means Bush said “is that we can also stop the illegal spying on the ‘merikun people. Now we’d know who and where the terrorist are. “Heck” he said, “we might even stop the inspections at the airports. We’d save money by not having to employ TSA employees and think of the time we’d save not having to get to the airports 1 ½ hours before the flight leaves.”

10. It would stabilize foreign countries and make them safer to live in and travel to.

The connection between weapons dealers and and terrorist groups is fairly well documented. The Taliban have developed a symbiotic relationship with with poppy growers and smugglers: the terrorists protect the weapons dealers and smugglers in exchange for cash to finance their subversive activities.

In Iraq, scores of newly trained military, more than 20 judges, countless news reporters, newly elected government officials, our soldiers and many innocent people have been killed in that country due to the ‘war on terror’. . Baghdad looks like Beirut," said Bush as we are on the verge of an all out civil war in the reputed center of terrorism resides. It "is a waning of where the madness of the violence that afflicts us can bring us."

Legalizing the terrorism would affect this quagmire and subversion in the Middle East as much as it would in the United States. A major source for terrorist funding would disappear. So would the motive for kidnapping or assassinating officials and private individuals. As in the United States, ordinary Afghani’s and Iraqi’s once again could walk the streets and travel the roads without fear of terrorist-related violence. Countries would no longer be paralyzed by terrorists.

And lastly G.W. Bush said that

11. Legalization would repair U.S. relations with other countries and curtail anti-American sentiment around the world.

U.S. pressure on foreign governments to fight terrorism has clearly reinforced the image of America as an imperialist bully, blithely indifferent to the concerns of other peoples. The U.S. government is not a beacon of freedom, but a threat to their livelihoods. To many Muslims and Arabs it seems that their government will ignore its own constitution on request from Uncle Sam.
Leftists exploit such episodes to fan nationalistic sentiment to promote their agendas.

Legalizing terrorism would remove some of the reasons to hate America and deprive local politicians of the chance to exploit them.

The U.S. would have a new opportunity to repair its reputation in an atmosphere of mutual respect. And one last thing Bush said is – we won’t have to worry about catching Bin Laden either.

This is why - I - George W. Bush am asking our Congressmen and Senators to legalize terrorism.

He ended his conference by saying , “God Bless You and God Bless American.”

Disclaimer:

For all of you DU'ers that might get your panties in a bunch - this was done to provoke laughter.

[northofdenali]

1. “information is the best protection

against the potential hazards of terrorism......................

:rofl:

As if!!

good one, global one. k&r