Mississippi outlaws sex toys

[Acebass]

You can get blown away, but can't get a blow-job, in Mississippi


Well, I am glad to see that the local legislators are focusing on the most pressing issues of the day. I’ve long believed that a three-dimensional, possibly battery-operated device is far more menacing than a handgun. In Mississippi, people can buy guns at a gun show with no background check and certain weapons can be carried almost anywhere. Sure, guns and toys can bring joy and a sense of comfort to the user, but apparently the legislators concluded that a genital replica is a far greater threat to society.

This, from a state that levies only an 18-cent tax on cigarettes, 55 cents below the national average and where 62 percent of residents are overweight, making it the fattest state in the country. Yet still the public schools don’t make gym class compulsory. Mississippi’s laws would make you believe sex is the single greatest threat to public safety and well-being. After all, it’s illegal in Mississippi to have sex with someone you’re not married to or to live with someone other than your spouse.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6308419/from/ET/

[ChairmanAgnostic]

1. I see. Sex in their obese condition is exercise - ergo, deadly. They are

SAVING lives by banning sex toys.

[rodeodance]

2. what a bunch of idiots

.....Mississippi’s laws would make you believe sex is the single greatest threat to public safety and well-being. After all, it’s illegal in Mississippi to have sex with someone you’re not married to or to live with someone other than your spouse.

[Dulcinea]

32. Exactly how do they plan to enforce this?

Is the Sex Police going to storm your house, searching for vibrators? Sounds like the perfect gig for Ashcroft!

WTF? :wtf:

[Acebass]

47. MMMMM could be...n/t

[DIKB]

51. They'll

have to cut off my hands to stop me !!! :bounce:

Sucks for the ladies though, my heart goes out to all the people stuck in that state. In Arkansas (ranked 49th in the nation in most columns) the state motto is practically, "Thank God for Mississippi!!"

[espera17]

112. 1984esque

Apparently, the legislature is also considering a bill to place 'telescreens' in all rooms in Mississippi, citing the need to make sure citizens are following the Bible's teachings.

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Thanks!

[windy252]

102. Well, it could keep fundies from re-producing

:hide:

[windy252]

103. Wait, I got that backwards.

my bad.

[Ron Green]

3. "That's a tool, Son, not a toy."

"Step away from that thing 'fore you get hurt."

[savemefromdumbya]

4. You have to wonder about Miss. lawmakers?

maybe their moms took away their toys when they were infants?

[flamin lib]

5. At least the article isn't about Texas nt

[MuseRider]

11. LOL

or Kansas. Just peeked in today to see if we were getting nailed since Springer is talking about us. Not us YAY! Now to go look at the rest of the site, there is bound to be something there.

[sarcasmo]

6. Kick and Nom. Texas Nazi's stroll into bars and arrest folks drinking

before they can drive drunk. Now Mississippi outlaws toys that bring joy and pleasure to adults. What a week it has been for the Nazi party, oops I mean the Republican party.
Now it's sex toys, when will it be against the law for non married couples to have sex.

[FormerDittoHead]

7. If it's not broken, why fix it?

:sarcasm:

I was replying to the OP about the general state of affairs.

I honestly don't understand how, in this world of national news, the internet, travel, the deep south can persist in a state which resembles 80 years ago...

[Clark2008]

8. My state's got a similar bill standing at the ready, as well.

How ridiculous!

I envision the sale of cucumbers and bananas going through the roof in my state, Tennessee, and in Missisippi and Texas and all those other places where this stupidity is allowed to carry on in place of real public works.

[butterfly77]

9. These freaks...

are always in someones' underwear.

[Julius Civitatus]

10. What a bunch of dildos, seriously!

and PUN intended.

:rofl:

[snowbear]

12. And they plan to change the state name to Mrs.-ssippi..

[Clark2008]

13. Actually, I think they need to change the name to

Mississippi: Our cucumbers are bigger than yours.

:rofl:

[snowbear]

14. Ok, that too...

[benny05]

105. Or

Our cumcumbers are smaller, but don't need your friggin' sex toys.

[CrispyQ]

15. ...

That is the most adorable pup-dog in your avatar!

:hi:

[snowbear]

21. Awww thanks!

[wtmusic]

16. It has to be a "three-dimensional" object

Toys of higher dimensions, and even two-dimensional toys are not included in the ban.

[DarkTirade]

53. Technically, a sex toy has four dimensions...

height, width, length and duration (i.e., time).

[wtmusic]

77. cool

so to hell with them. :thumbsup:

[Ezlivin]

17. Confessions of a Dildo Smuggler

Bootleg whiskey supposedly gave rise to NASCAR.

Will running black-market dildoes across state lines create a new spectator sport?

[havocmom]

18. Never been to Mississippi. Do they grow a lotta cucumbers there?

That Cucumber Cartel seems to have a lotta political juice of late.

[AllegroRondo]

19. Why only "three dimensional" objects?

answer: because if they went after 2 dimensional items, they would have a serious problem with the first amendment and free speach.

So, what if you display your "objects" in a cabinet or on your coffee table? Would this not make it "art", and therefore a violation of your first amendment rights to ban it?

Dont take away my art. My three dimensional, battery powered, art.

[petronius]

23. Not to mention your religious paraphernalia...

http://www.blowfish.com.nyud.net:8090/catalog/toys/images/t-div-1353.jpg

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/symbolic_dildos.html

[ladjf]

20. I believe I would call this a "hot button issue".

[kitkat65]

22. D for Dildo

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

[truebrit71]

24. What a bunch of fucking dummies....

Is there NOTHING more pressing in the state to pay attention to?

No wonder the north (and indeed the rest of the civilized world) thinks that most southerners are fucking retards....

A law banning dildo's...??!!

Unreal...just unreal.... :eyes:

[flordehinojos]

25. isn't mississippi the baptist capitalof the south?

[chaumont58]

26. Theocracy on the march!

The Christian States of America: Mississippi, South Dakota, Missouri.

Which state will be next?

Theocracy on the march!

[eppur_se_muova]

56. Which state? Maybe Ohio. It's grim up here. nt

[Cha]

27. When Mississippi outlaws

crooked politicians then I'll be impressed.

[ieoeja]

42. Then only outlaws will be politicians? n/t

[tanyev]

28. If sex toys are outlawed, only criminals will own sex toys.

[IntravenousDemilo]

36. That. Is. Fucking. Hilarious.

[Zimmy44]

29. Not a joke

Roe v. Wade rests in part on Griswold v. Connecticut, which, I think, first articulated a right to privacy that applied to reproductive and possibly sexual issues. Isn't there another state moving to outlaw contraception? All of these are, I think, intended to move as fast as possible to overturn Roe v. Wade by going right for the underpinnings of it.

[CTyankee]

65. I have made this argument over and over again

My son, an assistant District Attorney in Brooklyn, completely rejects it. I feel that the fundies really want to get rid of Griswold, so decisive not only in Roe but also in the Texas sodomy case a few years back. They can't stand Griswold. It represents not only abortion but homosexuality.

I have always felt that if they go against Griswold most of America would just erupt. Can you imagine state legislature after state legislature passing laws against having, using, buying contraceptives? States would literally implode. I never thought it would come to this, but maybe it has.

[JudyM]

89. Let's see how the Mississippians react to having their toys taken away.

I can't imagine people sitting down while Griswold gets overruled, but then I can't imagine people sitting down with all that's happening in congress now.

[CTyankee]

96. When the cops break down their bedroom doors

will straight, white people rise up and claim they have some right to privacy, only to be told "Nope. The Supreme Court nullified all of that sexual privacy stuff." That's when they'll "get it."

[MountainLaurel]

98. You're absolutely right

:applause:

[Jeffersons Ghost]

30. Please be considerate of male Republican feelings

any sex toy over 2 inches long makes male Republicans feel inadequate.

[Maigret]

31. Great!

This is good news! Now we needn't fear the danger posed by Saturday Night Vibrators or the even more frightening Assault Dildos!

[havocmom]

34. Assault dildos? Doesn't the Attorney General of the US say they're OK?

Didn't he say the torture and abuse of prisoners in US custody is just fine?
Assault Dildos used in the fight against terra are fine with the junta.

Oh, it's just tools used in private between consenting adults that are bad?

[NMDemDist2]

63. welcome to DU Maigret

:hi:

and I think it's hilarious that you decided your first post should be a sex toys joke! :rofl:

You'll fit right in! :pals:

[snowbear]

33. So how are they gonna enforce this anyway?

That article says it's also against the law for a male to become "aroused in public" in Mississippi.

How do they enforce these laws there?

[Solon]

40. Don't know, but I would love to see them arrest a 13 year old...

boy for having a damned stiffy, let's see that hold up in court.

[Porcupine]

115. Damn, they just outlawed Junior High Schools.

Hell, I was at least 16 before spontaneous um....arousal made walking straight a painful experience. They would have to arrest every male in every Junior High in the state.

It would bring their education budget in line though.

[Crunchy Frog]

111. Infrared scanners?

[Marnieworld]

35. They should also outlaw hand lotion then

To make it fair for everyone not to have self-pleasure it would be the equivalent.

Just saying. :)

[izzybeans]

37. You'll never catch me coppers!

[Roon]

38. This is crap

Dildos is one way to practice safe sex.

[donsu]

39. did they know Miss. women make extra money having sex toy parties

in private homes, like makeup shows and underwear shows, etc.

helps put food on their tables

[Canuckistanian]

54. Say, isn't that restriction of interstate commerce?

Why, yes, I think it is.

I can just see it now - Anal Intruder, Inc. v. Mississippi.

[SIU_Blue]

95. Out of curiosity....

Don't they get around that with fireworks laws?

Do you know the legal precedent for this type of stuff?

[CTyankee]

85. or is it to "put food on their family" as Bush

so famously said during his first campaign for president?

[riona]

41. omg - will they have a sex toy checkpoint at the border?

[trof]

43. If you don't inflate the doll, is it only TWO dimensional?

That'll be my defense.
;-)

[MISSDem]

44. Since I live in Mississippi I guess I had

better make sure I put mine out of sight before the housekeeper shows up. She might turn me in and I'll be behind bars.

[ieoeja]

45. They only outlawed the sale.

So to be safe everyone in Mississippi should start labeling their sex toys, "Not for Sale".

Which could make a pretty popular bumper sticker in Mississippi, "My sex toys are for personal use only." Maybe with some small print referencing the fact this bumper sticker is being displayed to disclose compliance by the vehicle's occupants with Mississippi statute XYZ.

[MISSDem]

46. Is it only the "for sale" items?

“A person commits the offense of distributing unlawful sexual devices when he knowingly sells, advertises, publishes or exhibits to any person any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs or offers to do so or possesses such devices with the intent to do so.”
I gotta be careful here.

[Acebass]

48. Make sure it's on stealth mode...

If your neoighbors hear it they could turn you over to...The Dildo Cop!...

[Spike from MN]

94. If only the sale is banned, an enterprising person could

probably get around the idiotic law by selling some other relatively worthless item for $15.99 and throwing in a dildo for free. Or maybe gas stations can offer free dildos with every 5 fill-ups.

[frankly_fedup2]

49. Well that takes care of that. I guess we won't be driving to

Mississippi for our sex toys anymore.

Plus, those old, stupid laws that are broken everyday need to be changed as well. They are quick to get rid of the sex toys but not the stupid laws. Typical bureaucratic BS as usual.

[TrogL]

50. Their rate of prostate cancer is going to go up

My doctor says one of the best ways to avoid prostate cancer is frequent prostate massage.

He thinks "the real thing" is best *nudge nudge wink wink* but sex toys work as well.

[redwitch]

52. good luck to 'em on the enforcement

n/t

[cpamomfromtexas]

55. So they're going to outlaw coke bottles

An Air Force Doctor told us one time that he had a patient that put coke bottles in his butt and they got stuck! He had a habit of this!

I about bust a gut laughing.

[godhatesrepublicans]

57. so will they ban viagra next?

If I lived in ol' Miss I'd start a PR campaign against "them dirty sex drugs" in retaliation, hit these old rich Repugs where they live.

[DarleenMB]

58. So much for the South rising again. n/t

[Skinner]

60. Ha ha ha ha ha!

:rofl:

[cboy4]

67. I second the LOL!! Very creative!!

:rofl:

[lady lib]

59. Interestingly, farm animals have NOT been outlawed.

Hehe. :)

[n2doc]

61. Wonder if they will outlaw the "vibrating" razor

http://www.gillettevenus.com/us/

Mark Morford had a wonderful piece on the (cough) Applications of this device. And of course there is always the popular unbalanced washer ride....
Where there is a will there is a way, even with medieval idiots...:spank:

[raccoon]

86. I heard on the radio about a gizmo to help women exercise

their pelvic muscles, invented by a nurse. Wonder if this would be illegal too?

[Neil Lisst]

62. It's the only state with "I pee pee" in the name, and it does this

hide the barnyard animals

it's gettin' dark in Mississippi

[JudyM]

90. Too funny! Thanks for the laugh. n/t

[mom cat]

64. I forsee a booming business in cucumbers.

[cboy4]

66. Praise Jesus, we're safe!! I mean why would the terrorists want to attack

us now? We've solved the #1 problem facing America today!!!!! :sarcasm:

[stickdog]

68. What a bunch of complete dildos! (nt)

[Talismom]

69. I just want to thank you and all the others who posted on this thread...

I have just had the best laugh in a long while and am drying my eyes so my two kids don't look at me like I'm loosing my mind!

[tandot]

70. In other news...rape and incest was just legalized in Mississippi...

...as long as it involves a real vagina and a penis...age doesn't matter...

[Cascadian]

71. Another "waste of time" law.

And you know these right-wing relgious freaks that have imposed this law on Mississippi will be damned hypocrites when it comes to this. You have to wonder what the hell is next?


John

[tgnyc]

72. They don't women to be distracted from having sex with their brothers

[PetraPooh]

79. and cousins! lmao n/t

[AnnieBW]

73. A Suggestion For The Women of Mississippi

Here are some nice, discreet sites that you can go to for your battery-operated (or not) devices:

http://www.stormyleather.com/store.asp

http://www.xandria.com/

[IndianaGreen]

74. Let's mail dildos to the Governor

Who knows, he might find something about himself!

[specimenfred1984]

75. Guess They'll Be Closing the Hicksville Pleasure Chest

where the dildo's have "world's greatest dad" printed on them!

[mongo]

91. LOL!

:rofl:

What I've been looking for is the "world's greatest grandma" pocket P****y

[LaCrosseDem]

76. DILDOS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

Those Mississippians need to be stop before they.... ah nevermind.

[PetraPooh]

78. Uhm, should I cut off my fingers? I'm sure that if

I cut off the offending finger, I would soon use another finger, then have to cut it off and so on till I only had stumps for hands. Or is it only battery operated sex toys? :sarcasm:

[tirechewer]

80. Ummm.....

I'm just wondering, is it specifically limited to dildos, or are they going to pull all the Hitachi Magic Wands off the shelf too? I mean those of us with , um, sore shoulders, could really suffer if that is the case and this should somehow become the law of the land.

[NMMNG]

81. It's a good thing guns are so easy to get down there

Because I'm sure lots of people want to blow their heads off because of all the ridiculously repressive sex laws. :eyes:

[Pachamama]

82. Let me get this straight: In Miss., you can own a gun, but not a vibrator?

:wtf:

I'm simply speechless......

[Neil Lisst]

83. If you don't know this Reagan era dildo story and its Swiftboat connection

Then gather round.

In the Reagan administration, they threw the fundies a bone by creating a pornography commission. I believe they called it THE MEESE COMMISSION.

Among its members was a guy named Harold "Tex" Lazar, a former Nixon speechwriter tied into the old dirty tricksters Karl Rove and Lee Atwater. Lezar was the biggest goober you'd ever want to meet, a true goober in every sense of the word. He was a Freeper when we called them YAFers.

Lezar died a few years ago, but his widow is tied into the Rove and John O'Neill dirty tricks, and she is one who helped put together the whole Swiftboat attack scheme in 2004. She was also involved in the attacks on McCain in 2000 by the Bushies.

But back to the dildos.

There was an article in Time magazine about the porn commission, and it included a photo of Lezar with a room full of illegal, confiscated dildos. For those who knew Lezar, it was a dildo among dildos.

[0007]

84. This is so dumb I can't believe it!

[Javaman]

87. Does that include bananas? nt

[MadMaddie]

88. So how are they going to regulate ordering these tools on-line

and then having them delivered by mail, fed-ex? Are they going to use the patriot act to enforce this...somehow tie it in with terrorist...:sarcasm:

Another stupid law that they won't be able to enforce....what a waste of time for the cops trying to enforce this....

[JudyM]

92. Clearly, too many self-important MS legislators can't satisfy their wives

and they resent the threat to their machismo that sex toys represent. "Damn it, my wife won't sleep with me but she'll happily play with that thing instead."

Try paying attention to her, you putz. And maybe loosen up a little politically, while you're at it. She might appreciate a nod to her concerns.

:eyes:

[Spike from MN]

93. I hope people get out and protest this.

I can just imagine what some of the signs would say.

"You Can Have My Dildo When You Pry It From My Cold Dead Hands"
"Pro-Life. Pro-Choice. Pro-Dildo."
"Don't like dildos? Don't use them."
Or maybe
"Don't like dildos? Don't vote for them."

[WestSeattle2]

108. that's "cold, dead, greasy hands"........n\t

[Acebass]

97. Okay in there, throw your dildos out, and come out...

with your hands over your...:wow:

[windy252]

104. I shouldn't but what the hell

lol.

[WestSeattle2]

99. Repackage them as animal toys...

I know lots of cats that LOVE to fondle vibrators..

Seriously, there are always ways around idiots and their moronic laws. Someone will figure it out before the ink is dry on this ridiculous piece of legislation.

I am so thankful I live west of the Rockies. Lying between the Rockies and Appalachia is whole sea of insanity.

[Acebass]

100. Blackmarket vibrating pillows...

You open up a Pandoras Box (Yes it was intended) of new legislation...

[WestSeattle2]

101. It's all marketing....

Blow up doll: CPR "Annie".....can never get enough CPR education and practice
Male Masturbation Toys: Blood Pressure Monitoring Devices...check your blood pressure daily for optimum health
Vibrators: Feline Hairball Reduction Device (Reduce hairballs in kitties by rubbing it on their tummies after a bath......)

If those perverts in the state legislature wish to believe that these innovations are used for human self-gratification, well that speaks volumes about where THEIR minds are at.

If sex toys are outlawed, only outlaws will have sex toys. The rest of us will be out visiting prostitutes in order to avoid even the appearance of self-gratification.

[Acebass]

106. They've been with us for centuries...

http://www.mypleasure.com/features/timeline/index.asp

Who the hell do they think they are trying to outlaw them now!...

What is it about sex anyway that has them all uptight?...

I'll bet you can still get viagra and a boob job in Mississippi...

[WestSeattle2]

107. I believe a previous poster has it right...some men in the MS

state leg are pissed that batteries and some latex are better in bed than they are. I think fundies would be better off, if they just spent Sunday mornings in bed with a sex toy, rather than attending their Sex is Naughty indoctrination seminars every Sunday.

The added benefit to spending Sunday mornings with sex toys, is that you won't spend the rest of the week trying to make stupid laws, take away the rights of others, inflict your religious beliefs on others, or start wars based on lies.

Come to think of it, that's what the WH needs......a big freakin dildo. Oh wait......

[Acebass]

109. Robin Williams said it best in Goodmorning Viet Nam...

they are in more need of a blow job than anyone I've seen!...

[BlueStorm]

110. "I found some candles..."

"Oh honey, those aren't candles!! Put them back"

Can't seem to remember what movie that was from...

Seriously though, how are they going to enforce this?

Blue

[ruggerson]

113. Why don't they outlaw obesity?

If I remember my bible, gluttony is a huge sin, while sex toys don't even rate a mention.

Outlaw fat people.

[Acebass]

114. Of course if they did outlaw Dildos, Bush is in trouble!...n/t

[snowbear]

116. This just in.. "Larry the Cucumber" arrested in Mississippi !!!

Poor Larry should've never tried to drive through Mississippi!

[Acebass]

117. Can't say we didn't try to warn him...n/t..lol