It's Official: Dick Cheney Is The World's First Trillionaire!!:

[Flabbergasted]

Forbes' Magazine Hails The Fellow Founding Member Of The Project For The New American Century As World's Richest Kleptocrat!!:
World's Richest Man Or Cheney Of Fools!?!?:

By YASO ADIODI
The Assassinated Press
3/21/03 3:00EST

New York City ---With a stroke of the pen and a hail of bombs, President de facto Dick Cheney has swept away the highest standards of personal wealth of the 20th century and seemingly raised the bar for many decades to come! Move over Bill Gates and Warren Buffett and make way for the World's First Trillionaire!

Upon tailoring an agreement as President de facto with a subsidiary of his former company, Halliburton, Mr. Cheney laid the $900,000,000 groundwork for his trillion dollar fortune! Now, with the $36 trillion in reserves in the oil rich regions of Mosul and Kirkuk in Northern Iraq in the gunsights of Cheney's forces, the 60 something, balding, heart patient has become the world's first trillionaire!

"Since Dick still holds thousands and thousands of shares of Halliburton and its numerous subsidiaries, he in essence signed a contract with himself to have control of the major Iraqi oil fields! Pretty fuckin' slick. With this announcement, we certainly had our own "shock and awe" here today in New York," said Steve Forbes fellow member of The Project For the New American Century and fellow financial beneficiary, at a celebratory banquet for Cheney held in David Rockefeller's private suite in the refurbished bunkered boiler room in the basement of the Waldorf Astoria in New York City.

"Did any of you ever wonder why Dick fought those congressional subpoenas so hard? He sure didn't want the prying eyes of Congress reading what he and his buds in the energy business were plotting behind closed doors. Christ! If those venal fuckers in congress would a found out, they all would have wanted a taste. I'm sure that would have made it very difficult for Dick to reach the trillion dollar plateau."

Along with Cheney, a number of other individuals in the Cheney/Bush Administration who just coincidentally happen to be members of The Project For The New American Century saw their financial fortunes soar like CRUISE missiles along with PNAC founder William Kristol and, Richard Perle, a former Reagan official who is currently a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute and a member of the Defense Policy Board and longtime advocate of a grab for Iraqi oil. Five members of the Cheney/Bush team became newly minted billionaires along with Kristol and Perle. Here is a partial list of the group who had the financial foresight to advocate the separation of the Iraqis from their oil. "To the victor, go the spoils."

Richard 'Dick' Cheney- PNAC member, President de facto of the United States and Halliburton shareholder as well as former Chairman...

http://www.theassassinatedpress.com/adiodi20.htm

[goclark]

1. Was I just having a nightmare or is this for real :(

[babylonsister]

2. He's also the most despicable person I've ever known/heard. nt

[Jim Sagle]

3. FanTASTic site!

[Blaze Diem]

4. Blood Money..ala Casey Sheehan et.al.

I'd like to see that evil f*cker try to "fit through the eye of a needle"..
f*cking Blood Money..
NOW can we Impeach them!????
----I am sickened to think of al those who have lost their lives in horror for Dick's trillion pieces of green colored paper.

Burn, Dick Cheney, burn long and burn into eternity.

[shance]

5. That's our money.

That blood soaked money never even came closed to belonging Dick "five deferments" coward Cheney.

And those are our kids who died for his murderous delusions.

That is our money, those are our kids' lives and we want it B.A.C.K.

He stole every penny of it off of the backs of the innocent and the vulnerable and the less wealthy.

That's our money.

[Catrina]

11. Now, now, calm down!! We got Cynthia (arch criminal) McKinney tonight

Haven't you heard? She's going before a Grand Jury?

Focus on the important stuff, and you'll sleep better at night :sarcasm:

[donkeyotay]

16. Cynthia McKinney goes before a Grand Jury for a hair crime

and the murdering rat bastards who hijacked out country go free. Go figure.

I saw a bit of Ron Paul on C-Span yesterday, just enough to be reminded that the same evil cabal that brought us Iraq is still planning on bringing us Iran. I'd like to think that we couldn't possibly be that stupid, but when you look at the polls and the congressional resolutions, it's hard to disagree with him. It looks like we're on course for total disaster, but really, we must do something about McKinney's hair. Who could recognize her as a member of congress? :sarcasm:

[TheBaldyMan]

6. with respect, those numbers are a bit suspect

I'd like to see proof before I agree with the 'it's official'

Anyone can pluck numbers out of their backside and present it as fact, has the example of Fox News taught you nothing in the last 6 years.

[PublicWrath]

8. Me, too. I'm sure they made a lot, but I want specifics........ n/t

[progressoid]

12. I believe it's tongue-in-cheek

here's anther quote:

Other PNAC members include Jeb Bush, George's half-brother; Ken Lay; Francis Fuckyomama; Pamela Anderson; Jeffrey Skilling; Dan Quayle; Charles Manson; Gary Bauer; Orlando Bosch; Charles Keating; Michael Milkem; Gunga Dinesh and his 'I Carry Water For the White Man Chorale'; Arnold Schwartzenegger; John Hull; John Singlaub; Charleton Heston; Carrot Top; Jerry Falwell; Candie Apples; Rev. Van Impy; Ted Kopple; Midge Dector; and Britney Spears.

[TheBaldyMan]

18. thank you for that,

I expect this stuff to be posted in the lounge. I must have been too tired to have a sense of humour.

The actual list of PNAC members is scary not funny.

[fooj]

7. This makes me want to hurl...

:puke:

[vickitulsa]

9. The Assassinated Press: A cool site all right!

Thanks for tipping me off to this one -- I hadn't heard of it. I noted the date on the piece in your OP and enjoyed the high quality of the writing so much I happily clicked my way to the linked site ... to discover there are several years' worth of goodies to read there!

Here's another example I particularly liked:

http://www.theassassinatedpress.com/lube23.htm

I'm impressed with the writing skill of these guys, no shit. Even in the long pieces they don't trail off and get boring -- they're snappy all the way! Love it!

And their term for themselves: "ass.press." Priceless!

[PublicWrath]

10. That was great! They really crackle, don't they!

[Canuckistanian]

13. Scruffy looking middle-aged man of Italian descent:

"Fuck! This administration is like the perfect marriage of the patrician and the stooge classes. Its almost like a figment of the media's darkest and most banal fantasy come to life. A cartoon neck deep in real blood. If a group of heavily armed men, part of a huge and powerful army, stormed into this town, Washington DC, saying they were liberating me from Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld, I'd come out and shake their hands, smile and laugh and maybe even kiss them on the cheek. Then I'd go home and get ready for anything."

:rofl:

[leesa]

14. All that dough makes killing 3000 people on 9-11 worthwhile, I guess.

[Gregorian]

15. I still feel sorry for him.

I'm short of breath here. I think I need a defibrillation. I honestly don't believe this. But if it's true, it's the most wrong thing since Darfur, Ruwanda, Iraq, and all of the rest of them combined. In fact, if there is no money to be made, these fat cats won't even consider coming to the rescue. Live for today, jerk. Because tomorrow is ours.

[info being]

17. I don't think this is credible

[cliss]

19. Memo from Cliss to Dick Cheney:

Dear Dick,

I'm sorry about your dream of being the world's first trillionaire. It's not going to happen. The reason is because the U.S. treasury is empty. You and your friends looted it. In fact, after it ran dry you went out and borrowed money from other countries to finance your delicious war.

I know, it was fun. And lucrative. You toasted many champagne glasses, had tears in your eyes because you made so much money.

There was an issue of Architectural Digest about 8 years ago. It featured your Washington home on the cover. Inside the magazine, we got to take a "photo tour" of your lovely home. Lynne was in the spread, she even had matching clothes which went well with the furniture.

Better enjoy that house while you still have it. You're living on borrowed time, Darling. (check those batteries in your pacemaker).

Sincerely,
Cliss