I got a bunch of CLINTON (Bill) jokes in email today: here's my reply

[Jeffersons Ghost]

The sad thing is that I used to love Clinton jokes when I could afford fuel and food. I wasn't always solidly Democrat. I used to hate both parties and thought we needed a THIRD party so that I could joke or gripe about government 1/3 more. In light of millions of Hispanics marching in the streets as they lick their chops over jobs Americans not only will do but cherish as life's blood and a war based on lies where thousands of fine Americans die each year, I now see the political jokes were on us. I wonder if people make Clinton jokes after they get a pink slip as their job is exported over-seas.

They're just not as funny with my 3 children at or near the age where they can be drafted and maybe even accidentally nuked by fools who never served their country. Did you hear about the other US general that just resigned and criticized Bush and Rummy? Maybe hard-core Nazis who still support that war, which actually creates thousands of new terrorists daily are making jokes about Generals who love their country and troops enough to give up their careers but it's not funny to me. It's personal. I have kids.

[meegbear]

1. Is it the one from the "black Canadian comedian"?

[Jeffersons Ghost]

2. yep

those were the ones. real funny in Canada maybe but not as funny to mothers in the U.S. and Iraq with dead children. Why do we need to find some group that is slightly different to hate? Why is this war a good thing, again? I need a refresher course in swallowing lies before we invade or nuke Iran. Are racial slurs somehow okay, if you can pay a minority to make them?

[Clark2008]

3. What jokes are these?

You don't have to list them here, but do you have a link? Are they that bad?

[Jeffersons Ghost]

4. they're all THAT BAD... Clinton jokes are way out of step and out of date

and about as valid in the here and now as a joke about Lincoln being black. The jokes reek of racism and hatred. Real funny, huh?

[meegbear]

5. Email being sent around ....

couple of postings about it here, I never received it.

I did a quick search online and can't find a link. Perhaps the person who started this thread will post, but they're the basic one-liner "zingers" style of jokes.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

6. they're basically racial profiling and not fit to re-print

I'm sorry but I have no intention of printing jokes that attack blacks in a not-to-subtle way. I heard there's a place called FreeRethuglican where you will likely find those kind of jokes in great quantities. Check there.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

7. here's a funny joke:

A white soldier, a black soldier, a Native American soldier and an Iraqi soldier were all sitting in separate fox-holes near a village full of children, when a draft-dodging fool nuked them by accident because he didn't read the intelligence reports again.

When forensic archaeologists were able to go in and study the crater 3 thousand years later, they couldn't tell which was which because the blood had all dried together in one common pool.

funny huh?

[Jeffersons Ghost]

8. so if I won't print racist jokes you don't want to play with me?

here's my response: :kick: I'll play by myself all week or month or year until others not only hear but also listen with their hearts.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

10. here's another funny joke:

How many deaths does it take before fools see the light?

answer: Proverbs 9:6 Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Proverbs 8:5 O ye simple, understand wisdom: and, ye fools, be ye of an understanding heart.

Proverbs 10:10 He that winketh with the eye causeth sorrow: but a pratling fool shall fall.

Proverbs 10:18 He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.

Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.

Proverbs 10:23 It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.

King Solomon was funny, wasn't he?

[Minnesota Libra]

18. This applies to the whole administration today "Proverbs 12:15...." nt

[Jeffersons Ghost]

20. so as not to take it out of context, here's some other passages

12:18There is (those) that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.

12:19The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.

12:20Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counsellors of peace is joy.

we should establish a KING SOLOMON FREEPER reference at DU.

[meegbear]

9. Sounds like it's been "updated" since it's original incarnation ...

they must be bad.

And there is a place called FreeRethuglican and I'd be there if I believed in their views, but since I'm here, I must not. Slow down tough guy.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

11. I'll slow down on ending war and racism when more people listen to Solomon

[greenbriar]

12. send them this

http://nobravery.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

[Jeffersons Ghost]

13. you go greebriar!

I've seen that link before and saved the whole thing on my hard-drive. It's real funny isn't it?

[greenbriar]

14. hopefully it will shut them up

for good

[Jeffersons Ghost]

16. fools hide from wisdom, just as roaches hide from light!

they are afriad to see the light and afraid to open your link.
I don't remember where but Solomon also said: "A wise man (woman) can learn from a fool but a fool cannot learn from a wise man." (woman)

[Minnesota Libra]

19. I've got to remember this one about roaches - OMFG that is good!! nt

[Jeffersons Ghost]

21. thanks, here's the same idea in a new "light"

John 3:20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

Job 24:13 They are of those that rebel against the light; they know not the ways thereof, nor abide in the paths thereof.

on edit: I just relized I never need tell a freeper or Republican to go to HELL, because they're already on the fast-track.

[Ishoutandscream2]

15. I get pissed when I get Clinton jokes through email

One I got was the day he was having bypass surgery. I let the sender have it good, and complimented her high morals while someone was facing life and death. Of course, she replied about her children learning about blow jobs from Clinton. So, of course, I replied that well you must not think too badly about blow jobs, because you are sending me a joke about one.

Really, they are out of date. The real jokes should be about this current administration and its overall incompetence. I guess to a Bushbot, blowjobs are just wayyyyyy too funny.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

17. but there's nothing funny about losing lives, freedoms and jobs

is there?

[ieoeja]

22. BC didn't teach her children about BJ.

The conservatives who shouted it out across the airwaves did. Tell her to at least get her facts straight. BC never once willingly spoke about the subject in public.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

23. there is a good possibility the child heard parents telling Clinton jokes

A wise king said, 12:23 A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.

[ieoeja]

26. To be is to do. - Socrates.

To do is to be. - Plato
Doobee, doobee, doo. - Sinatra

[Jeffersons Ghost]

27. you begin with Plato, who fought and knew war: I'll end with his wisdom

Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion, and you allow him to make war at his own pleasure. If today, he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada, to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, 'I see no probability of the British invading us' but he will say to you, "Be silent; I see it, even if you don't." - Abraham Lincoln

The pioneers of a warless world are the youth that refuse military service. - Albert Einstein

A country cannot simultaneously prepare for and prevent war. - Albert Einstein

Never has there been a good war or a bad peace - Benjamin Franklin

I may be compelled to face danger, but never fear it, and while our soldiers can stand and fight, I can stand and feed and nurse them.- Clara Barton

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed. - Dwight D. Eisenhower

We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to live together we have to talk. - Eleanor Roosevelt

All men are brothers, like the seas throughout the world; So why do winds and waves clash so fiercely everywhere? - Emperor Hirohito

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason. - Ernest Hemmingway

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy? - Gandhi

Vietnam was the first war ever fought without any censorship. Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind. - General William Westmoreland

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in. - George McGovern

Older men declare war. But its the youth who must fight and die! - Herbert Hoover

Naturally, the common people don't want war ... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country. - Hermann Goering

Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent - Issac Asimov

Instead of building newer and larger weapons of mass destruction, I think mankind should try to get more use out of the ones we have. - Jack Handey

I am going to explain to you why we went to war. Why mankind always goes to war. It is not social or political. It is not countries that go to war, but men. It is like salt. Once one has been to war, one has salt for the rest of one's life. Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing that stops women from laughing at them. Night fell again. There was war to the south, but our sector was quiet. The battle was over. Our casualties were some thirteen thousand killed--thirteen thousand minds, memories, loves, sensations, worlds, universes--because the human mind is more a universe than the universe itself--and all for a few hundred yards of useless mud. - John Fowles

You know the real meaning of PEACE only if you have been through the war - Kosovar

Anyone, who truly wants to go to war, has never truly been there before! - Larry Reeves

Our only hope today lies in our ability to recapture the revolutionary spirit and go into a sometimes hostile world declaring eternal hostility to poverty, racism, and militarism. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Once and for all the idea of glorious victories won by the glorious army must be wiped out. Niether side is glorious. On either side they're just frightened men messing their parents and they all want the same thing - not to lie under the earth, but to walk upon it - without crutches. - Peter Weiss

Only the dead have seen the end of war - Plato

History teaches that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression and human life is cheap.

[bmbmd]

30. That was, indeed, a deep thought

from Jack Handey.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

24. Maybe someone will see the WISDOM in R&K so that others will see light..

[Jeffersons Ghost]

25. I guess I'm wrong... people today want to share jokes not wisdom

Matthew 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

[El Fuego]

28. That's a good response, I've been looking for one.

The repub jokes make me furious.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

32. only through jokes can they ignore truth

[Vickers]

29. Clinton jokes? Holy shit, are they sending any James K. Polk jokes, too?

:wtf:

How fucking relevent is Clinton to ANY fucking thing these days? What a bunch of irritating assclowns.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

31. clinton offers fools a chance for fools to ignore wisdom

it that sense, Clinton jokes are relevant.

[Ishoutandscream2]

33. Amen, and LOL!!!

There is no relevance at all to the current times. I swear, they must suffer from Clenis envy.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

34. LOL we could do LINCOLN jokes by switching Clinton's name with Lincoln

naaa who wants to stoop to their level. If a leach bites me it doesn't mean i'm going to bite it back.

on edit: AH HA! I've got it!

next time I hear a clinton joke, I'll politely laugh and then ask, "did you hear the one about the fool who robbed the country blind, exported everyone's job, lied to America and got thousands of children slaughtered?

then watch their face and THEIR HANDS! After they say no, I'll say, "well never mind it's no laughing matter anyhow.

Then, maybe ask, "have you heard any good racist Lincoln jokes lately?