What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican

[acmavm]

(From my friend Shirlene)

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals
and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy
when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney
did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we
can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a
spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations,
and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N.
resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own
body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions
affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the
troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and
combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't
have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs
and insurance companies have the best interests of the
public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a
impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support
for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in
the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and
censoring the Internet.

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle
trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our
business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an
illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican
ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in
perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame
them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the
quail.


Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

[Justice]

1. you also need to believe that Scooter Libby,

cautiously checked with WH counsel about whether he could legally disclose to reporters classified information from the NIE, and talked it over with Dick Cheney -- then HOURS later, Scooter Libby tossed caution to the wind and recklessly decided all by his little self to blurt out to not one but two reporters other classified info about Plame and Wilson's debriefing that he learned about at the same time he learned of the NIE info.

Yeah right.

[rhett o rick]

2. But it is so easy being a Republican. Someone else does all the thinking

Boy it looks tempting some times. Pass my koolaid plez.

[rhett o rick]

3. You believe that "thou shall not kill" doesn't include non-Christians

and doesn't included non-elitists accused crimes. In Texas GWB didn't care if the accused was innocent, he rushed to execute. I am sure his elitist logic was - if they weren't guilty of that specific crime, they most likely were guilty of something bad.

The Christian right are trying to demonize all muslims and arabs to justify torturing and killing them.

[Amonester]

4. Wraps it up quite clearly. Sad reality theirs is...

Should be posted in their pathetic faces there:

http://www.freerepublic.com

Moi curious to know how long it would last...
Or would these *%/$#@! fascist fanatics just love it?

[saltpoint]

5. It must be like the 'disabled' function on computers. They LOOK

halfway intelligent.

But then they vote for candidates like John Cornyn, Jeff Sessions, Rick Santorum, and of course, Dubya and Uncle Dick.

Insane? Embecilic?

It's a tough call.