Hurry Up, Rapture

[hyphenate]

By Number Six, Section OpEd
Posted on Sun Apr 16, 2006 at 07:23:54 AM EST

Those who know me personally, those who know me by my rants know full well: Living in a red state has its pitfalls....

It's never been easy. Born into a southern Baptist family, and yet, owning a mind donated by Vulcans. You get the idea: Unless it comes armed with Aristotlian logic, up yours, thanks.

Of course, I'm anti-religion, well, most of them, especially the literalist variety that come equipped with rules that defy quantum (7 days does not equal 14.2 billion years), sex (I own a penis for a logical reason, so I can make reproductions, duh!), food (lean pork, like tenderloin, is low in cholesterol), I mean, shit, the list of no-no's goes on further than a Fibonacci sequence. Sorry, as far as I am concerned, women are legitimate humans in their own right (fuck you, fundie Islam!), children are most precious, and we are to tend well this little ball of blue (sideways, motherfucking American Taliban!).

The more religious some are, the more they worry me.

Some are okay, tame, so to speak, not all that bad. I liken a lot of them to being fellow mystics; we agree there is a God, but the rules imposed so far are like turn signals on a roller coaster. So far, I've not been visited by apparitions or wild dreams, so, not to worry, I am not forming a cult anytime soon. Put money on it.


http://watchingthewatchers.org/story/2006/4/16/72354/8027

[Warpy]

1. Whenever someone treats me to loud and lengthy testimony

about the superiority of his religious faith and the high moral pinnacle he has achieved because of it, I invariably make sure he hasn't lifted my wallet and head for the nearest exit.

I know believers, people of real faith who keep their mouths shut as they attempt to live up to it. They don't fall into this category. I would trust them with my money, my car, my life.

I'm talking about the ones who have to make sure the whole world knows just what superior human beings they are due to the grace of whatever god they're giving all the lip service to. I don't trust them. I've never trusted them. They always make sure my worst fears are realized.

[raccoon]

6. Right, they always think they're superior because they're

"saved." They're "saved" and you unsaved people are shit, that's how they see it.

I agree, they can't be trusted. And even though they claim to be "saved", they'd cheat on their taxes, commit adultery, etc., as quickly as anybody else would. Maybe quicker. :evilgrin:

[MountainLaurel]

8. On that note, here's a logo for you

[joemurphy]

2. Why do all the Fundies' answers come from Leviticus and

never from the Sermon on the Mount?

[BoneDaddy]

7. I know it was a rhetorical question but I will answer it

as if it wasn't. Leviticus is the book of laws and these people have an absolute obdeience to authority. They never question, think or act in a way that colors outside the lines. They need big brother, that is why Bush is so attractive to them. They need to be told how to live, what to eat, where to shop, how to pray.

[hatrack]

3. Agreed - the sooner these asshats get levitated, the better

To say nothing of all the neat free stuff they'll leave behind post-dematerialization!!!!

[scordem]

4. Where has the president mentioned the rapture?

[Mr_Spock]

5. Your president has said that God told him to go into Iraq

Only a crazy rapture obcessed cretin would sasy something so crazy.