Tough vs Asshole

[Stinky The Clown]

We all assess the people with whom we come in contact. We see some people as tough. We see others as assholes. But sometimes we can't make the distinction.

The traits we read as 'tough' or 'confident' are often the traits of an asshole. Case in point: a woman I know very, very well married a man who she saw as 'tough' and 'confident'. In fact, it was this percieved confidence and toughness that was in large measure her original attraction to him. Fast forward ten years, and, for the most part, she and her daughter are out of the man's life. Turns out he wasn't the least bit tough. What was initially seen as tough was a nature that tended toward bullying and abuse. He wasn't tough. He was just an asshole.

And so we see some of the attraction by the non-thinkers in our society to the likes of Bush and the rest of the more obnoxious Republicans. What is seen by some as being 'plain spoken' and 'decisive' is really just bluster and bullying. "With us or against us". But this appeals to the 'values' crowd. They actually **do** genuinely want leaders who are in line with their values. And they value toughness.

But then there's that disconnect between perception and reality. You know Bush is much more a bully than a tough guy. I know Bush is much more a bully than a tough guy. The same can be said of many other of the high profile Republicans. Bullies. Look at Delay. Look at some of the leaders of the Talibornagains. Look at Sensenbrenner .... and Pence ..... and Rummy ...... and Cheney. Is Frist a tough guy? Or Peter King? Or Joe McCarthy?

And yet, they're seen as being tough. And for that, they're valued.

You want tough? Look no further than both Bill and Hillary Clinton. It takes true toughness to face the incredible onslaught they faced and then go on with dignity and, in most cases good humor and love. It isn't about their politics. It is about them. They are genuinely tough. Not a hint of assholery to either of them. And yet, they're seen by so many as the epitome of evil. Bill Clinton, in particular is often accused of weakness.

Bobby Kennedy was tough. Lyndon Johnson was tough - also cagey, wiley, and at times misguided, but tough, to be sure. Gene McCarthy was tough. George McGovern is truly tough. Pat Buchanan is tough. Wrong, to be sure. But tough. The list goes on.

The point to all this the need to change perceptions. Redefine 'tough'. Actually don't redefine it. Just make its definition clear. Call a bully a bully. I honestly believe there are more true tough guys on our side than theirs. Is Henry Waxman a wimp? A pain in the ass, to be sure. But not a wimp. Is Barney Frank a wimp? Charlie Rangel?

Is John Conyers a wimp? Was walking onto the Senate floor to challenge the acceptance of the 04 presidential vote an act of wimpiness by Barbara Boxer? Was it in '00 when Maxine Waters did it?

I get teary when I think of the strength in our party. I get angry when I think of how the other guys get seen as tough.

Their 'tough' is born of personal fears. That's what all bullys find, in the final analysis, as the source of their assholery. Fear and self-loathing and lack of confidence and self-doubt.

Its overcompensation.

In this election cycle, can we work toward changing the common definition of tough?

Our side IS tough by gawd.

Stand up for that.

That's a value all American's can embrace .... they just need to be made to know it.

[mark11727]

1. If you ain't out there writing campaign speeches, Husb2Sparkly...

...you oughta be. :hi:

[tularetom]

2. What is so confusing is that

all you have to do to be deemed "tough" is to bad mouth minorities, the poor, women, gays or others that may not be able to fight back. If you stand up to the rich and powerful, who can and often do fight back, somehow then you are not "tough". I don't get it.

[Stinky The Clown]

3. Hatred and inflexibility coupled with a scowl and a stern tone

looks like 'tough' every time.

Think Cheney.

Think Dobson.

Think Zell Miller.

[NoFederales]

4. Well said!

NoFederales