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By Nancy Greggs
I admit it. I have despised G.W. Bush, his administration, and his supporters since day one. But having heard Republican ‘strategerist’ Charlie Black on the news this week, I have been forced to face the truth: The sorry state of our nation, our faltering economy, the disaster in Iraq – everything we see going so terribly wrong – is simply a matter of a ‘streak of bad luck’.
Well, who’da thunk it? Certainly not me. All this time, I’ve been under the erroneous impression that we were living with the consequences of The Decider’s less-than-intelligent decidery. But I have now seen the light, and shock-and-awe doesn’t begin to describe it.
A streak of bad luck. Well, I’ll be damned – and I probably WILL be for all of the unkind thoughts I’ve had about this administration. Here I was thinking that Iraq had dissolved into chaos due to poor planning and less than noble motives, that the economy had been crushed by corporate greed, that those falling poll numbers for BushCo and the GOP were a result of my fellow citizens finally catching on to the lies and deceit that have been the cornerstone of this corrupt regime.
And now I find out it’s just been a matter of bad luck – and considering the amount of bad luck that’s fallen on the heads of this administration of late, it’s time they identify whoever it is who walked under a ladder, stepped on a crack, tripped over a black cat and dropped a shitload of mirrors, because their influence on the state of the nation has been, until now, grossly misunderestimated.
If Mr. Black and his cohorts are to be believed (and honestly, who wouldn’t believe them?), everything has been going swimmingly up until now, and if it wasn’t for this bad luck thing hitting the administration in the past few weeks, the phenomenal achievements of the past five-plus years of peace and prosperity would have continued unabated.
But apparently, ill fortune has now stepped in to snatch success out of the hands of good people like George W. Bush et al.
Those falling poll numbers? Hey, don’t blame the man and his policies. It wasn’t his response to Katrina that started that ball rolling. It wasn’t the Dubai ports debacle, or the wire-tapping scandal; it wasn’t the loss of American jobs, or the photos from Abu Ghraib. And it certainly wasn’t the fact that his oil buddies are making a fortune at the taxpayers’ expense – so don’t even go there. It was simply the Fickle Finger of Fate, raised in an obscene, Scalia-like gesture, flaunted in the face of a good, torture-embracing, money-grubbing, brush-clearing, Christian man.
I think Mary Matalin, as she commented on the state of the administration this week, put it best: “We have to get our mojo back.” Well, I couldn’t agree more.
In these difficult times, that’s just the kind of shoulder-padded, polyester-suited, mirror-balled attitude Americans have to adopt in order to get Bush and his buddies out of those poll number doldrums. So let’s put on the best clothes Wal-Mart has to offer, cash our unemployment checks, slap a hundred bucks worth of gas into the ol’ rust-bucket, and head on down to the local disco, where we can dance our current, though temporary, troubles away. Hopefully we can revitalize that feel-good mojo once again, and go back to being the great nation we were before this bad luck thing ever happened.
So don’t blame Bush or his party for what’s going wrong. Put the blame where it belongs, squarely on the shoulders of Lady Luck. If it weren’t for her meddling in our country’s affairs, we would still be enjoying the peace and prosperity this administration had achieved right up until – well, apparently until a week or so ago.
Lady Luck – what a bitch. She’ll probably wind up in Gitmo.
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