The Republicans are Better at Protecting America

[Bjorn Against]

Ignore the Bush Administrations painfully slow response to Hurricane Katrina, because remember “nobody could have anticipated the breach of the levees”. We could never have been prepared for that one, but we would be prepared if terrorists were ever to bomb those levees. Honest.

Ignore that Reagan’s CIA under the leadership of Poppy Bush armed and trained members of the Taliban. Back then the Taliban were good guys. They respected people’s freedom. They were still good people when during the beginning of Dubya’s term when the Administration gave them tens of millions of dollars to “fight the war on drugs”. Seriously, the Taliban was doing a great job at stopping the flow of heroin around the world. There was absolutely no corruption what so ever among their ranks back then. They just suddenly became evil on September 11th.

Ignore the lackluster regulation of our nuclear power plants, which could potentially spread a cloud of radiation over a major chunk of the nation. You don’t need to worry about that because the market will provide us protection. You can trust the big corporations to regulate themselves, they would have no incentive to cut corners anywhere.

Ignore the growing threat of global warming that could flood our coastal regions and bring massive storms to the rest of the nation. There are still a few people in the oil industry who deny that global warming is even happening. Why should we worry about what virtually every climate scientist says, when the good people at Exxon say the scientists might be wrong. Naturally we have to wait until the debate between Exxon and Science is complete before we do anything to address any potential problems.

Ignore the fact that during the eighties many of the people who currently have prominent spots in the Bush Administration were supporters of Saddam Hussein, and even supplied him with chemical weapons. Saddam was a truly good person back then and he deserved the Republican Party’s support. He didn’t turn into a bad guy until later, so we went to war with him and later he ended up destroying the weapons we had given him. We had to double check to make sure he really did destroy those weapons though so we invaded again. He didn’t have the weapons, but we did succeed in bringing peace and freedom to the land. Mission accomplished. Oh wait…never mind let’s move on, nothing more to see here.

Ignore the fact that George Bush had ties to the Bin Laden family. Remember Osama bin Laden was the bad apple, the rest of the bin Laden family ran a multi-billion dollar corporation so they had to have been honest people. After all George Bush would never even consider doing business with any shady people.

Ignore Bush’s ties to the Saudi Royal Family. The Saudi Kingdom shows an enormous amount of respect for basic human rights. You can ignore all the torture that goes on in their prisons and their inhumane treatment of women, because us Republicans have never fully considered women or prisoners to be people. We do know however that they give people a great number of basic rights, after all they give the oil companies all kinds of rights, and according to our believes a corporation is a person.

Ignore the leaking of a CIA officers name for political gain. Just because she was working on issues of utmost importance to national security, doesn’t mean she was not fair game. It was so much more important to make people believe in fake Weapons of Mass Destruction, than it was to have an investigation into real Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Ignore the fact that Bush sent much of our National Guard to fight in Iraq leaving them unable to protect us here at home. See they are not needed here, because if we fight the terrorists over there we will not have to fight them over here. You don’t have to worry this war will not anger anybody who’s family was killed, so no one will get the idea of finding a way to travel over here to inflict harm. See in war no one ever considers fighting back with violence, so you can be assured that America is in fact safer after our war in Iraq.

Ignore the fact that George Bush has alienated nearly all of our former allies. We won’t ever need them because we are invincible. We will never again have to worry about what other people think of us, because we are never going to be in a hard spot and need their help again. Don’t worry about that massive national debt because it won’t ever impact our economy or our place in the world.

Just relax, and vote Republican because we keep telling you we are better at making America safe. The corporate media keeps repeating that line even, so it must be true. Vote Republican in November or you will die in December. God Bless America.

[Bjorn Against]

1. You can also ignore My Pet Goat...

George Bush showed so much leadership sitting there in that classroom and not being intimidated into actually doing something.

[newspeak]

2. hmm, let's see? 9/11 and anthrax attack

How did they protect us--it probably takes about five to eight years to plan a big attack-our soldiers get attacked everyday in Iraq and Afghanistan-how about the attack in Britian, how about in Spain? I don't feel safer--I feel that the more children and family members are murdered, the more potential terrorists, probably with lots of revenge built up, will be waiting to attack us.