Then and Now

[Stinky The Clown]

Then, I was outraged with an anger shared with all my fellow Americans; indeed, with the vast majority of my fellow citizens of the world. Now I am outraged at my government, hijacked by idealogues and power mad fanatics of a failing but still powerful philosophy.

Then, I offered to drive my sons to Canada and they made their Dad proud in response by saying it was THEIR country too, and they'd, by God, damn well stay and fight if need be. Now, they will join only over my dead body.

Then, I watched the events unfold in a horrible tableau splashed across every television screen in America, and I wept openly. Now, I can only hope to constrain my seething rage at what has become of the country I loved then and now.

Then I felt more American that at any time in my life, felt unanimity with my fellow citizens, and understood, with a clarity never known, the patriotism of my Greatest Generation parents. Now, I feel American in dogged defiance of my government and the enablers that underpin their regime.

Then, by 10.00 at night, I was spent from the cumulative effects of a spectrum of emotion. Now, by 10.00 I can only celebrate the rage I've felt all day, capped by a political speech by a man-child posing as my government's leader.

Then I was caring man willing to work for 'next time' even while feeling cheated. Now I am an angry man, too old to do it, but still railing against the ever growing crimes committed in my name by those who I do not support.

Then and now ....... what were you feeling? And what do you feel now?

[NMDemDist2]

1. I pretty much bounce between rage and avoidance

It's getting damned exhausting too

once in a while I get a ray of hope. from Al Gore or KO or Stewart or the man on the street and I'm buoyed with the spirit of America and Americans

rinse, repeat

[The_Casual_Observer]

2. Then : I thought bush was shit.

Now: I think bush is shit.

[stillcool]

3. then I was stunned....

unable to take it in. The last 5 years have been one stunned discovery after another of my government, and what it has done for the last several decades. Now, the toothpaste won't go back in the tube. I need to take breaks from it all frequently to maintain sanity. My life is so frigging good, by accident of geographical birth...in comparison to my brothers and sisters all over the world...I think I'm getting survivors guilt....there but for the grace of God...oh go I.

[October]

4. I was on my way to college

I'm the mother of two children, and I had just returned to college that September, 2001. It was the 2nd week of school and I was driving to campus.

My husband is an airline pilot, and I'm a former flight attendant. I couldn't believe the reports I was hearing on the radio that morning about a plane hitting the tower. We live about an hour from NY, so while I was driving, I just looked up at the sky and thought "WHAT???" "On a day like today?" It made no sense! The weather was perfectly clear. Then, the news of the 2nd plane hitting the 2nd tower came on the radio and of course I knew we'd been attacked. Later, when I learned the planes had been hijacked, I knew those passengers and crew on those planes were following the normal "go along with the hijacker and make nice" rules and I was struggling with the thought that they all probably went quietly and obediently to their deaths. The unsuspecting pilots, strapped in and unable to defend themselves, were probably swiftly killed. I was horrified, like everyone else. My husband had flown home an hour earlier. I knew he was safe, but I had to call our relatives to let them know.

It seemed surreal when the towers "fell." All the pilots used those towers as a visual -- it meant "home" to many pilots when they came into view.

One of the first things I said to another student was "OMG, we're under attack and Bush is in charge!!!" I was not like "most people" who seemed to instantly rally round the president, wave the flag, etc. Instead I was instantly sick to my stomach at the thought of this happening on GWB's watch. I felt we were doomed, but I had no idea that doom would come from within our own government.

Since then, every day brings new outrage. I'm appalled at what our country has become.