Would Bloomberg name Al From GOD?

[wiley]

(Satire - that's not the name of a credible news source, by the way)

All these "active DU thread sources" about Bloomberg and Al From and demonic pairings of INdependents owned by this or that political party ? This is so scary. Bloomberg's basic movement of funds into a private foundation coupled with a well-timed and planned hiatus or resignation from his business in the future (say, around the time he would be running for President)is pretty much one step beyond an exploratory committee, don't ya'll think? He's been talking to a lot of people, not just that demonic bogeyman AL FROM. Why, there are some here who have SPILLED THEIR COFFEE when hearing of the dastardly rumors of Independent tickets of Powell/Obama, and the most evil exercise in Satanism ever conceived in the history of politics (safety requires that I spell the name of the beasts backwards!) NAMREB EILNIAC cM!

Just a tiny question? Why the worry about Al From? It would be funny to see Bloomberg or anyone get fleeced by him. The only problem is that Bloomberg is very smart, and there are much bigger and better people he would get if he decides to spend his money. With "some" Democrats turning their heads 360 degrees while spewing molten chad lava at the mere mention of Hillary Clinton, and "a lot" of Republicans either running from the law or being caught by it (okay, so there's only a "kinda" rule of law that Republicans even feign awareness of and the current Congress and Attorney General are not about to self-incarcerate), or thinking that it's time to open the racistsexistantisemiticgayhatingprofitoffthestupidityofthiswaronterrascorchtheEarthcorporatetheocracy
distraction gates because they think having the biggest bag of money at the front of the line when Jesus retrofits the entire Earth except Bethlehem - you know, it's called something like "The Purge", or "The Enema", or "Last Call" - is gonna make 2008 a moot point anyway, Bloomberg/Chafee (pick the eventual running mate now for EXTRA points!) may just have a chance of winning.

Look what's in the White House now! All you need is the "unheard of" ability - you know, like flying planes into buildings like missles - to steal votes or send an election to court, a lot of money to have bi-partisan hacks running interference from physically threatening voters to telling them they'll be able to get unlimited amounts of free pot and/or oxycontin if they vote the Southern Sovereignty Party or the Progressive Psychiatric Lawyers Party, and a despondent electorate on SSRIs or Ritalin that hates everyone with so much incredible self-righteousness and I told you that this would happen vindictiveness that they will just blame each other and everyone else for the loss of their candidates while awaiting the outcomes of law suits that ever resolved are already several years too late to address the fact that thousands of soldiers have already been killed and tens of thousands are eyeless or limbless or both, millions of innocent people around the world are dead (lots of kids in Iraq and Darfur!), and the world truly hates us because they don't believe anything anyone says from this country anymore so they just stare jaws agape while * and his screaming monkeys throw fresh steaming crap at them claiming it's our country's "foreign policy". C'mon, y'all know that Graham, McCain, Warner and Snowe were just about to get "Punked", or Pooped in this instance. Don't you?

Wait, that was 2004, or a dream I had, wasn't it? Take the new PURPLE pill now

Okay, 2006 version. Scaife et al,2.0:

Blathering online paranoia and Cult of Personality turf wars among Democrats and Republicans will be encouraged up to the point that it's no helpful, at which point mouths will be taped and cables cut. I'm pretty sure that if Congress hasn't already made that the law, they will soon (probably after testing microwave weaponry on large crowds or "terrorist" dissenters just to make sure the public protest option is not an option as well). The huge majority of the American people will be appalled or disdain incredulous charges of fraud (or at least 30% of them will, and they have the last electoral college say, pending Supreme Court determination, of course) and the media will do everything in it's power to act as an anodyne and anti-anxiolitic for the afeared, realizing that nothing will ever be as exciting as hearing about some chick who gave a President a blow-job or the latest results of American Idol or Dancing with the Stars. They still need a paycheck,no? When November 2006 goes down, they'll still be talking about Tucker Carlton's shockingly fat ass, anyway.

If Bush doesn't get his way he'll just let terrorists loose on us just to prove how right he is and why we need to heed his divine command - where does he store the terrorists,anyway? That doesn't outrage us enough to call for impeachment - or more? What, Howard Baker's coming in to act as "the cleaner" in Iraq and Democrats will sweep the elections anyway? But if the Carlyle Group/Haliburton/Republican Babes for Bush and Old Babs own the Supreme Court - even Spector isn't denying that - Why should Democrats wait for the results of another election? Lose Now! Blame Hillary NOW!. Or Rahm Emmanuel. Or that woman in the red dress who Southerners just naturally despise. Or Dean. Yes, it's obvious that the Dean Neutralization Committee (DNC)is going to going to have the power of Christ compel him to lose the elections out of spite and retribution. Well, Maybe Biden. Yes, Biden talking will make you sleep....Or,or those people who didn't understand John Kerry really won in 2004. No, honestly, he really, really won but he just isn't the President. Just like Al Gore really, really won and he isn't the President. Get me Al From on the phone, fast!

We've already started the self-destructive process of focusing on righting past wrongs - couldn't seem to do it last few times - and (and all the anti-authoritarians, and I know everything Democrats and Freepers protest, singing do,doodoo,do, do doo do,doo.) so it's pointless and anti-climatic to stop now. Like trying to take a bowling ball out of the hands of a howling, pantless Nixon in a parking garage.

There was this guy named Clinton who told the Democrats to cut their loses now and fight the real enemy (or was that Sinead O'Connor? I hear she may be getting booked on the Muslim talking circuit soon. Anyway, it's already getting very unseemly out there, and like Jay Leno said, "Democrats are going to have to work very, very hard to lose this time." But hating Hilary's hairdo or winning the John Edwards has the best buns contest or the Wes Clark is not really a real Democrat flamewar - actually, he does just play one on the 2006 campaign trail working 24/7 for Democratic candidates, obviously a front man - or actually getting Kerry into the White House is what is going to win, win, win those seats for Democrats in 2006.

But if Bloomberg actually does make Al From God, I think we wouldn't have to worry anyway who was in power anyway, right?

(End Satire)

[wiley]

1. Fine, I'll kick myself then.

[wiley]

2. Uh, it said satire at beginning and end of post. [ Doesn't Work!] I guess

So it's OBVIOUSLY a satire.

[wiley]

3. Edited