Hate Mail... Boy, Do I Get Hate Mail

[Bob Geiger]

Well, it's Friday, which means it's time to look in the old Democratic Underground mailbag and see what conservative Nobel Laureate or Fox News devotee tries to give me my comeuppance this week.

The hate mail has been a bit slow lately and I'm attributing that to the fact that even delusional Republicans can sense that their party is about as welcome by the American people as Joe Lieberman at a Progressive blogger party.

But one guy I can always count on, is a cowardly little man, who goes only by "V" and who writes to me with mindless drivel and threats on a regular basis.

Here's Mr./Ms. "V" from my inbox just this morning:

You're a friggen asshole. Still up to your old tricks? How about I come to New York and kick your ass?

Needless to say, I was so concerned that I forwarded the V-man's terrifying message to my wife and then called her to talk about it. It went something like this:

Wife: So, another right-winger who's tough enough to anonymously challenge you to a fight, but so gutless he can't even give his real name?

Bob: It's to be expected. They're ashamed of who they are.

Wife: Are you afraid?

Bob: Right now, I'm much more afraid that the corner deli will run out of hot pastrami by the time I get there at lunch.

Wife: Do you think he'll come to New York to "kick your ass"?

Bob: If he's like most redneck Republicans, the only way he'll find New York is if he hocks his double-wide trailer and gets a GPS device for his pickup.

Wife: Do you think he ever served in the military and is a fellow Veteran?

Bob: <Laughing uncontrollably for 30 seconds…> Oh, you're serious?

Wife: Well, there's a chance…

Bob: True, but this guy strikes me very much as "Cheney-tough."

Wife: Cheney-tough?

Bob: You know, likes war as long as someone else fights it. Makes threats with no risk and no stake in the outcome… That kind of thing.

Wife: What if he actually shows up in Manhattan? Will you meet him and beat him to a pulp?

Bob: Of course not. How do I follow-up on smacking around a loud-mouth, Chickenhawk Republican? Beat out an old lady for a subway seat? Kick a blind man's cane? Steal a little girl's ice cream cone? C'mon.

Wife: Where's this guy from?

Bob: I have no idea. That's the thing with these cowards -- they sound tough, but only when you don’t know who they are or where to find them.

Wife: So you're not worried?

Bob: About the pastrami? Hell, yeah. I gotta go.

Wife: No, about Mr. V.

Bob: No. I figure a yokel like that will either get killed driving in Manhattan or get run down on the street because he can't figure out our complex walk/don't walk system.

Wife: Well, I'm glad you're not afraid.

Bob: Wait, I am. What if the deli runs out of rye bread?

* * * * *

Tune in next time for another edition of the Friday Fruitcakes. And, for you hateful, self-loathing Republicans – keep those cards, letter and e-mails coming.

You can read more from Bob at BobGeiger.com.

[calimary]

1. That's pretty funny, Bob!

I've gotten hate mail myself, and the senders never seem to want to identify themselves to me, either. But they sure can spew from the shadows, can't they? As long as they have the cover of anonymity, they can strut their stuff pretty damn forcefully. "cheney-tough" indeed.

Good stuff, and good luck with your neighborhood deli. Priorities are priorities, after all!

:thumbsup:

[Parche]

2. mr V

This Mr V sounds like a real 'B'

[spooky3]

3. I'm a little disappointed in their lack of creativity this week.

Chin up, though! Maybe they'll have a few more beers before writing next Friday.

[Lautremont]

4. V for what? Vendetta? Vigilante? Vitriolic?

Unlikely. But a random scan of the Vs in my Webster's suggests a few apt possibilities: vitta ("one of the oil tubes in the fruits... of the carrot family; stripe, streak"), vinic ("of, relating to or derived from wine or alcohol"), viper's bugloss ("a coarse, bristly Old World weed") or vermicular ("resembling a worm in form or motion.").

[gratuitous]

7. I'm thinking "virgin"

Don't know why; but according to that great philosopher Eddie Murphy in the movie "48 HRS," "lack of pussy make you brave!"

[Bitwit1234]

5. Any kind of con mail

What I can't understand is this. When you belong to a forum and people can post their own top messages, all you see from the republicans when they inject a post in your thread is a reference to sex.

Example...when you post about something the republican administration has done, something all over the news...republican post..well it's because you aren't getting any.

Then when someone posted about bush and chavez,,someone injected a message about McGreevey. They constantly are always posting about sex and it has nothing to do with the top post.

Can someone tell me...why are the republicans so obsessed with sex. It must be a republican thing.

[joefree1]

6. Darn, I never get hate mail

Must be my sig pic. I did get one challenge long ago. I simply replied, anytime, anywhere. Never heard back.

But you're right, these punks will never leave their closet of fear and bitterness. They just peck away with two fingers on their mayo encrusted old PCs yearning for the good old days when us mud people were more fearful of the ubber classes.

What a bunch of losers.

[Lexingtonian]

8. Oh, hate is what they -are-....

I mean, do you think any loser like that gets out of bed in the morning and says "Today I'm going to make peace with the world and simply enjoy it, let it be and leave God in Control"?

Tell guys like that that you realize they don't know how to deal with their secret homoerotic inclinations, and rage is a normal suppression mechanism for closet cases on the verge of losing control.

[sarahlee]

13. They sometimes drive me close to "hate"

then I try to back off from that to simpler "disgust"

They don't seem to understand that

http://www.peacealliancefound.org/content/blogsection/35/102/">

[RebelOne]

9. Tell me one thing. Why do you assume that those

who live in trailers are redneck Republicans? I live in a mobile home and I am not a foul-mouthed, beer-swilling, ignorant redneck. I am a very liberal Democrat.

[many a good man]

10. ALL New Yorkers think that

:sarcasm:

[Joey Liberal]

11. Republicans are cowards

I've been threatened by them on the internet before. I even accepted a challenge to meet one in a park. This guy was daring any and all liberals to show up at a park at a certain time and date. He didn't think any liberal would dare to take him on. I told him I would be there. He was talking lot's of trash until I outlined my martial arts background for him. I never heard from him again.

[progressoid]

12. I think I like Bob.

[Mz Pip]

14. New York is a big state

How will you recognized him? Will he be wearing a red carnation?

V must be like 12 or something. :crazy:

Mz Pip
:dem: