What "nice things" will be said @ George W. Bush's State Funeral?

[Placebo]

Watching all these Gerald Ford eulogies and proceedings and "experts" on TV and such, I've been thinking what the hell people are going to try and spin about GWB after he passes.

Honestly, what "nice things" are there to say? He hasn't brought the country together. He hasn't healed any wounds. He hasn't brought prosperity (except to the super rich). He's killed civil liberties. Trampled over the Constitution. He didn't lead a life of service and dignity before he got into office, so no great things to say there.

The best I could come up with will be a few brave souls being trotted out to praise the way he "saw the nation through 9/11" or some such garbage. :eyes: Nevermind that he then bastardized it to the hilt for political gain.

[Ezlivin]

1. I don't know but I hope it's real soon

What a great New Year that would be!

[rurallib]

10. And Cheney becomes President?

Talk about a no win situation.

[Ezlivin]

19. Cheney would expose the true face of this administration - a fatal blow

As much as I dislike Bush, I can see how he is popular in some quarters. But Cheney has zero personal charm. He would really put the "lame" into "lame duck".

[No Exit]

46. That's right! I ain't afraid of no Cheney! Let them show their true face!

Back when the lynching of Clinton was occurring, among repukes (a supporter of whom I--much to my shame--was), the constant refrain was, "Oh, no, they shouldn't carry it all the way through... that would bring on Gore and would give him a perfect position to win the presidency in 2000!"

Well, among Clinton-haters, Gore was not necessarily disliked MORE than was Clinton. Sure, they found ugly things to say about him, but no one ever claimed that he was "as bad as" or "worse than" Clinton.

And it was true--if they'd convicted "Big Dog", Gore WOULD have been well-positioned to win in 2000. I mean, look how easily he DID win, WITHOUT having actually been "positioned" by a conviction of Clinton. I guess that's why the repuke weenies, led by that ultra-weenie, Trent Lott, didn't even consider convicting--they had destroyed the man's presidency, they knew it was based on bullshit, so why would the little wusses want to go further?

This situation is different! Cheney (Satan) is just as culpable as is Junior, and arguably he is MORE culpable. Furthermore, Cheney is said to have no presidential aspirations (why should he? he runs the country already), and besides, he's too physically decrepit to win a presidential election.

IMPEACH! PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS! Chimpy's BEGGING the democrats to impeach him. He's practically FORCING the democratic congress to impeach him!

(Clinton? How I wish I could live again in the America of Clinton/Gore, where our only perceived "problems" were the so-called "dishonesty" or "lack of character". What bullshit. How wrong I was. When I complained about Clinton, I had absolutely no idea that the gates of hell would later be opened, and my little snitty complaints about Clinton would later appear, comparatively, to be the absolutely most trivial bullshit any fool was ever tricked into agonizing about!)

[No Exit]

49. "Our first executed president"

After the fair trial, of course!

[geek tragedy]

2. "He's someone else's problem now." eom

[shaniqua6392]

3. I'll have to get back with you on that one!

I can't seem to come up with a damn thing.

[Patsy Stone]

60. He gave two dogs a nice life.

That's all I got.

[chelsea0011]

4. Question is, who can do it with a straight face?

[AndyA]

5. I envision lots of people dancing and singing at his funeral...

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!

[Placebo]

11. There should be at least 1 or 2 generations of Americans...

who never had to live through his torturous presidency by the time the big event rolls around. No one who hasn't could possibly grasp the insanity of the Bush Regime!

[sarge43]

6. "Thank God and Greyhound you're gone" ? n/t

[durtee librul]

45. You took my response!

That's what hubby says everytime I leave on a business trip - of course he's joking....I hope! Well, after 37 years of marriage....

Let's see, what would I say about Bush? A lesser man never walked the face of the earth, an moron in man's clothes, oh what the hell...liar, cheat, incompassionate pompous bastard....and that's just the nice things. How about, the best part of him ran down his daddy's legs.

[ginnyinWI]

7. I was wondering this same thing yesterday

It's going to be hard to find anything good to say. All of his supposed strengths, like being a "stong leader" have been discredited by Iraq and Katrina. They might, if the Dem-led Congress does some good things this year, try to credit * with whatever work finally gets done. Otherwise it's going to be a very short eulogy.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. Ummm... Let's see....

He didn't eat at Olive Garden?

There's got to be something else... I'm thinking....

[bahrbearian]

9. He was good for the liquor industry,,,

and don't forget the Military Industrial Complex.

[rurallib]

12. "His Bike will be riderless"

"This boy could clear brush fast as we could haul it in"
"Now he'll have time to finish that goat book"

[Placebo]

16. "Now he's fishin' for trout at that big artificial pond in the sky!"

I got nothin'.

[rurallib]

21. LOL - greatest accomplishment as President, Mr. W?

" I caught a 7 pound perch in my lake"

[jonnyblitz]

43. !!!

:rofl:

[Deep13]

13. He's dead. nt

[RollergirlVT]

61. my first thought exactly! n/t

[enough already]

14. "He was really good at riding a bike" n/t

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

17. Except for all the times he fell off,

which can happen if your biking partner is Jim Beam.

[BOSSHOG]

15. Okay I'll give it a stab

- He honorably deserted his military unit so as not to jeopardize his teammates lives by operating heavy machinery while fucked up on coke.
- He gave peace and solace to people in this country who have no concept of the truth or patriotism.
- He said that we should set aside politics, although a nice gesture, a seemingly strange thing for a politician to say.
- He kept right wing hate radio strong for eight solid years.
- He kept knowledgeable, thoughtful, intellectually curious Americans on their toes.
- Although he profited from insider trading at harken enterprises he did so with fellow shareholders welfare at the forefront of his thoughts during his criminal spree.
- He made "christians" feel all warm and fuzzy about their existence.

[wake.up.america]

18. He was the catalyst , which forged a new sense of social responsibility by being so selfish

[twilight_sailing]

20. Over Christmas I asked my Texas right wing relatives

about the accomplishments of the Bush Administration.

They couldn't name one (surprise, surprise) but one old Nixon Republicans did opine that maybe doing nothing could be a good thing, a very Zen sort of attitude if you ask me.

So that's it. Not accomplishing anything is a good thing.

[Placebo]

23. Doing Nothing = Good

We'll all thank GWB in 30 years for being that rock of stability. Literally, a rock. Sitting there doing nothing.

[twilight_sailing]

27. Like a rock

When we were attacked, Bush sat there like a rock.
When Katrina happened, Bush sat there like a rock.

Yep, Placebo, I like it.

Bush, like a rock

[MN ChimpH8R]

59. And just as smart as one, too. n/t

[mentalsolstice]

50. Zero is one thing...

...but this guy is in the double negatives. He's done something, but it's not good.

[BlueStorm]

22. "He certainly knew how to party... the guy could suck down a Jack Daniels

faster than a speeding train and he could snort some cocaine, whooo boy he sure could, we called him 'Hoover Nose!'"

Blue

[rurallib]

24. "He kept his daughters out of war."

[twilight_sailing]

31. Best one, IMO.

[NanceGreggs]

25. "Due to an inability to find anything nice to say ...

... the passing of G.W. Bush will be marked by three days of national silence."

[Placebo]

26. "GWB loved to go on vacation as president...

so now the day of his passing is now a NATIONAL HOLIDAY!"

I don't know.

[tandot]

28. He was good in clearing brush...

...and getting democrats elected...

[rock]

29. Ya know, he smells better dead

Must be cause he stopped fartin'

[Minnesota_Lib]

30. "Many Americans survived his two terms."

[central scrutinizer]

32. eulogy

I cannot recommend him too highly for honors nor say enough good things about him. There is no other person with whom I can adequately compare him. His Presidential legacy is the sort you don’t expect to see nowadays and in it he has clearly demonstrated his complete capabilities. The depth of his knowledge was a surprise. We were all amazed at the quantity and quality of the questions he asked. His level of competence and compassion has never been seen before.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

33. He wore a cheerleader skirt with great distinction

and his legs didn't look all that bad.

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

34. "He may not have united the country...

...but he most certainly did unite the international community -- AGAINST US."

[WI_DEM]

35. "after serving as president he slid into obscurity."

[Placebo]

36. God willing.

I don't imagine he'll be in much demand on the lecture circuit, I tell ya what.

[AlCzervik]

37. "My fellow Americans our long national nightmare is over"

[Ikonoklast]

38. He didn't kill more people than

Mao, Stalin, Hitler, or Pol Pot.


But he was working on it.

[Placebo]

39. "He didn't kill more Americans than Osama did on 9/11...."

"....oh wait—DAMMIT!"

[katsy]

40. Hopefully he'll be laid to rest in Paraguay

or wherever it is they just bought land.

Let them deal with it.

[Placebo]

42. Argentine, maybe?

Hmm...

[katsy]

44. I don't remember exactly when I read the article.

Just know that there's vast reservoir of water under his land.

I hope he develops a conscious and drowns himself in it and spare us the misery of reliving his monstrous legacy.

[No Exit]

48. You're right, it's Paraguay!

And I heard that too--that there's a large aquifer near or on the land.

This was mentioned one day on here when people were discussing the question of whether there might be "water wars" in the near future.

It would just figure that if there is such a prediction--water wars--that the selfish, avaricious, greedy Bushes would seek to co-opt water.

[RedStateShame]

41. Hell, I think it will be nice enough to say he's dead.

[GreenTea]

47. He made lots of money for all his friends.

[mentalsolstice]

51. "He had a way with words." Shrug! eom

[Placebo]

53. That he did.

THAT he did. *nods solemnly*

[LeftishBrit]

52. At least he wasn't Dick Cheney!

[dflprincess]

54. Besides what will be said - who will even show up for the event?

I suppose Condaleeza and Laura - but I'll bet Pickles attendence is iffy (she can always say she's too overcome with grief to attend a public event), I doubt the twins will stop partying to go and Poppy and Babs maybe long gone by the time George-Boy starts 'splaining to God.

[Riddler]

55. Good riddance, asshole! nt

[IndianaGreen]

56. Is he really dead, or is he pulling a Papa Doc Duvalier impersonation?

The greatest example of the Peter Principle at work!

In a hierarchy, people will rise to their highest level of incompetence.

[Ouabache]

57. Able 2 travel unarrested in Britain & Poland after his terms finished

nt

[MadMaddie]

58. I believe the Bee Gees summed it up nicely...

I STARTED A JOKE


I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
But I didn’t see that the joke was on me, oh no.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
Oh, if I’d only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I’d said.

Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if I’d only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I’d said.

’til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if I’d only seen that the joke was one me

[Auntie Bush]

62. He'll say he was a great guy to have a beer with and that he gave them

nicknames and winked at them regularly. All the Fundies will rave about how religious he was. How he was such a Godly man that God actually talked to him and gave him advice. The rich will praise him for making them richer as they walk past his golden casket.

Actually, I have been wondering the same thing for the past week.

[Generic Brad]

63. He always made sure his hair looked nice

That's the best thing I about him in good conscience.