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UnPresidented By Nancy Greggs
Since he was installed in the White House, the only real accomplishment of George W. Bush has been to prove that he is no more a president than he was a businessman, a scholar, a National Guardsman, or a cowboy.
The same man who literally couldn’t find oil in Texas, nor make a go of any of his business enterprises despite the more than generous financial assistance of his Daddy’s rich friends, has continued his amazing losing streak all the way to the highest office in the land.
A foolish blunderer? Yes. An arrogant frat-boy? Yes. An incompetent puppet with delusions of grandeur? In spades. But a president, the leader of a nation? Never.
In short, for the last six-plus years, we have been unPresidented, a state in which we continue to this day. It is not just a matter of the emperor having no clothes; the clothes, as non-existent as they are, have lain unworn for lack of an emperor.
Our country has somehow managed to muddle through without a true leader, a captain-less ship of state that has been tossed repeatedly into ever-threatening waters, its rudder so damaged one wonders if it is even repairable.
But the truth is Bush has never attempted actually being a president. It is simply a role he auditioned for and, with more than a little help from his friends in the electronic voting machine business, he landed the part. It’s just never occurred to him that the job came with actual responsibilities beyond flying around on Air Force One, or making speeches in front of pre-selected audiences, complete with makeup, sets and the appropriate costumes. And chances are that if he’d known there was actual work involved, he probably wouldn’t have applied for the job.
In his true role, however, Bush has performed more or less adequately, as the front-man meant to distract the audience while the real operators assumed their positions – like Dick “The Brains” Cheney, Don “The Torturer” Rumsfeld, Jack “The Bagman” Abramoff et al– and went about executing the heist of the century.
As the administration and its cronies busied themselves with conjuring up reasons to invade Iraq, making the odd public appearance just long enough to question the patriotism of those who questioned them, they set the wheels in motion to line their own pockets, and those of their corporate buddies, with the hard-earned tax dollars of American citizens. The “fog of war” created the perfect smokescreen for the theft, and pushing the boundaries of executive power ensured that although questions may continue to be asked, the obligation to provide answers would conveniently float, like so much smoke, up the chimney of alleged national security and hastily-sanctioned executive privilege.
So along with a non-existent president, the country was at the mercy of a non-existent administration, whose only goal was raking in the dough and ensuring it wound up in the right pockets. Appointments to important positions were handed out without consideration of credentials or experience, but seemingly as an offhand response from people who had more important things on their minds. “They’re asking for a head of FEMA appointee – what’s that kid’s name, Michael Brown? Yeah, give it to him. What could go wrong?”
And in the meantime, while veritable wheelbarrows full of cash were dumped into the waiting arms of the greedy and corrupt, our UnPresidented country lost the respect of the world, the cooperation of its allies, the freedoms it was founded upon – along with the lives of our military, our fellow citizens in New Orleans, and the countless others who have succumbed to the we-have-other-priorities obfuscation of the con-artists in office.
From the outset, Mr. UnPresident has acted the buffoon, disconnected from the realities of the world, proudly pointing to his own ignorance as though it were somehow an endearing trait, his own incompetence as though it were something to be admired.
But what is truly amazing is the fact that so many – ordinary citizens and Republican party operatives alike – took so long to catch on to the scam.
The Christian Right hailed him as “chosen by God”, and after coming out in droves to vote for him (twice!), it finally occurred to them that those promises of overturning Roe v Wade and passing a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage were never going to happen.
The traditional Republican voters finally realized, after billions went down the Iraq drain (or, more accurately, into Halliburton’s bank account), that fiscal responsibility wasn’t even a faint blip on the UnPresident’s radar screen.
The middle class awoke to the fact that while their jobs were disappearing, prices for everything from gas to food were on the rise, and their children were dying in Iraq for some ethereal Noble Cause, the definition of which changed with every news cycle.
And finally, just days after the November mid-terms, the Republican representatives who had unwaveringly sided with the UnPresident all along had no choice but to accept the consequences of their misplaced loyalty. Their one hope of retaining their seats and their majority – a change of strategy in Iraq signaled by the firing of Donald Rumsfeld – came after-the-fact, days after it could have done them some good. In other words, their pretend president was just that, a man who had pretended to be concerned about their party, their jobs, their political future.
Well, I guess that’s what happens when you sell out your constituents for an UnPresident – you wind up being an UnCongressman or UnSenator, just as fast as you can say, “You’ve been punk’d!”
But, as they say, it’s an ill wind that doesn’t blow somebody some good – and the waking up of the populace from its six-year coma is now imbuing the country with a refreshing air.
In short, the days of the UnPresidency are now, for all intents and purposes, over. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that the pretender and his cohorts will not continue to escalate their cash-cow war, or spill the contents of the public till into their briefcases on the way out the door. But I do believe they are about to be frisked before reaching the exit, and when the money falls out of their out-turned pockets, the vast majority of the citizenry are going to demand answers.
Let’s make a deal, my Republican friends. Next presidency, no amateurs, no pretenders, no incompetent idiots passing themselves off as the real thing. In addition to having done incredible harm to the country, it’s plunged your party into a world of hurt. At this point, I doubt you need much convincing. So you’ve been royally had; just vow not to let it happen again.
As the Democrats in power now steer our rudderless ship into calmer, more productive waters, let’s all set our sights on the horizon – where a real, as yet unknown president stands ready to fulfill the duties and responsibilities of the office, instead of simply smirking while taking up space.
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