Let's have Maureen Dowd does herself Contest. I'll start:

[zulchzulu]

Witnessing A Smile Upside Down World Writer

Seeing Maureen Dowd sitting at her laptop thinking about what to write is a marvel. Mo Mo, as I'll call her, is the youngest child of a Roman Catholic family whose father was a member of the IRA. Youngest children are usually spoiled brats, and this little gal fits the part so well.

Her father being with the IRA must have made that slightly turned frown a habit due to the fact that being in DC as a child with Protestants peering out their windows for impending bomb attacks made her a tad edgy. Mo Mo wanted to be left alone. It turns out that this fact remains to this day.

But about that story. She turns her head to the television with CNN Headline News on rotation. Its in the weather cycle now and the Politics mini-bites will be coming on soon enough. She looks out of her condo and sees children playing in the park. Damn kids...loud...just like they were when she was a lonely little schoolgirl with the nuns and their rulers.

Distractions. She thinks. Those distractions. That cursor stuck on the first space in this horrible Word application. What to write? What will get the most attention...hmmm...

CNN Headline News starts with the Politics mini-bites...not too much info to cloud people's heads...just enough, she thinks. Oh my God, look at that man's pants! That governor or whatever... bad color...oh, the hair... 80's...his smile...can't he get better teeth... what's with the hand gestures? What's he talking about...trying to impress us with some country...I know Spellcheck won't have it... she thinks clearly now as she looks out at the park and sees a kid fall on the ground crying.

Ah yes, a story!

She begins tapping away on that laptop. It's going to be fabulous. The stupid governor needs to get an upgrade in his style before we hear anything about his reform of healthcare or healthy cars or Heath Bars. That's it! He's Governor Heath Bar, People will love it! Is he married? That lump! That dork! Mr. UnFancy Pants! That's it!!!

Mo Mo is on a roll now. She just has to edit down whether the Governor or whatever he is is either Mr. UnFancy Pants or Governor Heath Bar...because he's fat!

So much for another tale to tell the World. This Governor or whatever he is is nothing for anyone to care about. He needs better hair. How are we supposed to care about what he says otherwise. Now for a clever title...

[zulchzulu]

1. I guess I meant a Maureen Dowd impersonation contest n/t

[Doctor_J]

2. Excellent start.

[KittyWampus]

3. That is so funny and sadly true at the same time.

stupid, shallow bitch