EXCLUSIVE!: A preview of Fox News' coverage of the Coulter comment next week

[Bicoastal]

Although it's only Saturday, I've already spent NEXT WEEK watching Fox News:

Sunday: On Greta Van Susteren, the word "faggot" is traced from its literal origins to its present-day slang use. The report concludes that the word "isn't really offensive to anyone."

Monday: Bill O'Reilly asks a former Republican strategist if he feels that Edwards exibits homosexual behaviour. The strategist chuckles and jokes, but stops just short of saying yes. O'Reilly nods knowingly.

Tuesday: In a newscast, Shep Smith refers to Edwards as "the allegedly gay presidential candidate from South Carolina."

Wednesday: A Fox and Friends interview with Mary Cheney reveals that Mary "always had a feeling about Edwards." When asked about Coulter, Mary responds "I think she's a very smart, funny woman."

Thursday: John Gibson demands that Edwards admit to his homosexuality, or else "drop out of the race for the good of his supporters and the American people," followed by an exclusive interview with Mitt Romney. The interview is mostly about, as John puts it, "the OTHER Massachusets."

Friday: Sean Hannity presents a fawning portrait of Ann Coulter, saying that "She's the only person not afraid to speak the truth in today's PC, secular society." Disco music is played under photographs of Edwards smiling. Colmes mutters, "Come on, Sean, we don't KNOW that he's gay," and is promptly shouted down.

Saturday: Clips from "earlier in the newsweek" are replayed--the O'Reilly interview, Shep Smith's newscast, and Hannity's photo w/disco music. Someone, probably Geraldo, says "As you can see, a great week for the gourgeous and outspoken Coulter, but an extremely difficult and controversial one for John Edwards and his family."

Oh, and at some point, that porn star who ran for Governor in the California Recall is interviewed--again.

[TSIAS]

1. Fux News blows! (n/t)

[FVZA_Colonel]

2. That was actually rather inspired.

Good work, and terrifyingly accurate.

[NanceGreggs]

3. A GREAT piece of writing!

KUDOS!

:applause:

[silverojo]

4. Wonderful piece!

Ever notice how Coulter always makes these snide remarks about the most handsome Democratic men, like Clinton and Edwards?

Ever get the feeling she is secretly sexually attracted to them, but can't get past her insane partisan hatred, so she deals with it by making absurd remarks about their sexuality?

[Itchinjim]

5. Brilliant.

Absolutely brilliant.

[ellacott]

6. That was great writing

Do you work for The Onion? :)

[Snellius]

7. What about the FOX poll: "Is John Edwards gay?"

Great piece but I'm worried about you, Bicoastal. You've been spending way too much time over there.

[Bicoastal]

8. Haha, not really...

I just watch the Daily Show and read DU enough to know the basic FOX formula:

1. Report an unsubstantiated rumor about a Democrat.
2. Instead of researching the truth behind the rumor, treat the rumor itself as news.
3. Use earlier news reports about the rumor as evidence that it's the truth.
4. NEVER retract or apologize for any puerile speculation that comes up during steps 1-3.

I'm interested to see how accurate this turns out throughout the week...

[Jamastiene]

9. John Edwards is from North Carolina.

Otherwise, very funny and probably accurate predictions you posted here, but Fux will get the right state even if they do get everything else wrong.

[annabanana]

10. Then the NYT opines that perhaps she was only calling him

a "bundle of sticks or branches", or "an archaic unit of measurement" or even "the NATO reporting name for the Mikoyan-Gurevich MiG-15 airplane".

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot)

Many establishment intellectuals concur, solemnly.