"If I am elected president" by Chuck Norris. He has a WND column now.

[underpants]

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/staticarticles/article56107.html

Require members of Congress to work out on the Total Gym 15 minutes each day – or else they can't vote on anything.

Cut spending by dismissing the Secret Service, at least for my eight years in office (why would I need them?).

Resurrect Bruce Lee and appoint him head of homeland security (OK, the CIA and FBI too).

Increase jobs in America by sending ninja teams to sabotage and steal them back from other countries.

Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist.

Hang Saddam Hussein (Whoops – scratch that – already did it undercover).

Create new immigration legislation: to deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O' Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return).

Expose the real WMDs – my fists and feet.

Ask Al Gore to provide me with a special governmental study on the connection between spotted owl extinction and global warming. (I'm pretty sure Michael Moore will film the docudrama).

[Mythsaje]

1. That's actually funnier than I expected...

Very tongue-in-cheek. And therefore not too obnoxious.

Color me suprised.

[BOSSHOG]

2. That's almost Onionesque

Yes tatooing on atheists bodies is so American. But chuck I served 24 years and I'm a liberal. Ya gonna deport me?

[geardaddy]

3. I have always hated that creep.

Now, it's gone to the level of loathing.

Fuck you, Charlie.

[ThomCat]

5. Yes, his opinion of liberals and athiests is a bit...

:puke:

[geardaddy]

7. Aye, agreed.

:puke:

[KansDem]

4. hahaha, chuck...you're about as funny as you are an actor...

Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist.--try it, chuckie and find your scrawny ass in jail...

Create new immigration legislation: to deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O' Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return).--forced education camps, chuckie? forced education ala your pals in the Khmer Rouge?

Expose the real WMDs – my fists and feet.--you think so, chuckie? you think you still got a bit of the spunk in you?

Ask Al Gore to provide me with a special governmental study on the connection between spotted owl extinction and global warming. (I'm pretty sure Michael Moore will film the docudrama).--old, chuckie, so old. Your phobia of spotted owls is soooo 1980s.

Grow up, chuckie. You sound like a bad rerun of the Reagan era...

[geardaddy]

6. Barf

Resurrect Bruce Lee and appoint him head of homeland security (OK, the CIA and FBI too). My guess is Bruce Lee wouldn't want anything to do with you.

[DeSwiss]

8. But, but, but, Chuck......

... where's the part about ninja-kicking and nunchucking Ahmadinejad and Kim Il Jong? You remember, the evil-doers???

I think the boy has taken one too many kicks to the head.....

[valerief]

9. Oy vey! nt

[Enthusiast]

10. What an idiot! NT

[Milo_Bloom]

11. I can't decide here...

This is either REALLY funny or really pathetic and I can't quite figure out which (which makes me think it is really funny)

There are, of course, a couple of things as a liberal, I find offensive, but when juxtaposed to the other outrageous statements, it almost seems to be picking on those who would agree.

"Cut spending by dismissing the Secret Service, at least for my eight years in office (why would I need them?). "

Obviously outrageous. Here he pokes fun at himself, by suggesting he can stop a bullet with his hands and feet. We know he doesn't believe this, so he pokes fun at this persona he has by jumping to a crazy conclusion.

"Expose the real WMDs – my fists and feet."

Same as above. The statement is made to make him look silly for saying it.

Read that next to, "Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist. ", "Create new immigration legislation: to deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O' Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return). "

Does this suggest that same outrageousness, which actually pokes fun at the person who would agree with it, rather than make a statement?