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Mods, feel free to move this to the lounge, but I thought it might belong here in GDP.
A politician dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells him, "You actually get to decide which place you want to go. But before you decide, you're going to spend two days up here and two days down there to figure out which one you like better."
First, the politician spends two days in heaven. Everyone is sitting on clouds, wearing white, and having extremely long conversations about their love of god. It's okay, but pretty boring.
Then, he takes the elevator down to hell and spends two days there. The entire place is an enormous golf course with luxury hotels at every hole. All his buddies are there, there's single malt scotch, cocaine, strippers, hookers, you name it. It's the best two days he's ever spent anywhere.
He goes back up to the gates and tells Saint Peter, "I didn't think I'd say this, but I really prefer it down in hell." Saint Peter says, "Very well," and escorts him back to the elevator. They ride down together.
When the doors open on hell the politician sees quite a different scene. The place is a lake of fire, people are being burned up from within by molten lava, and when their bodies are consumed they immediately grow back and just as quickly are destroyed again. A gigantic, horned, red-faced Satan presides over the scene, laughing heartily at the plight of the sinners.
Wide-eyed in horror, the politician says to Saint Peter, "This isn't the place I visited before!"
Saint Peter smiles and says, "That was the campaign. Today, you voted."
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