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Well whaddaya know? The more things progress the more I am surprised by my own reactions and changes of opinion.
I'm sitting here watching all these debates, appearances, stump speeches and all the insane media spin they like to call "coverage". I'm disgusted by so many things I've seen I don't even know where to begin.
I've been Dennis Kucinich all the way, and I remain so. It's the rest of the field that keeps yo-yoing on me in my own personal rankings.
I started Kucinich no second choice. Then it was Kucinich Clark, then Kucinich Kerry.
Now? I've never liked Howard Dean on a personal level. His arrogance and his apparent desire to pretend Dennis Kucinich doesn't exist drove me nuts, and all I could ever think when I saw his face was "Oh Lord save me from Clinton part 2!". I still feel that way a lot of the time, but the more I watch, listen and contemplate all of this mess, the more convinced I become I would vote Howard Dean over anyone else after Kucinich.
John Kerry has managed to infuriate me over so many issues now that I cannot logically claim he's a better candidate for me than Howard Dean, and that frankly shocks the living daylights out of me! His lifetime record painted him as far more liberal than he's showing himself to be in this race, and I believe my candidate has pointed out his glaring weakness against George W. Bush all too well, along with a lot of other sources, including some media pundits.
I'm sickened by his complete lack of action about BBV issues despite being in the Senate and a prime position to take SOME action right now. Instead he says "When I'm the Prty's Nominee..."- wait, John? So you're saying you won't ensure fair elections until you've taken what you can from a completely corrupted Primary race?! WTF?
I'm sickened by his refusal to support same sex marriage and his assertion that the US Government has the right to define legal contracts on the basis of spiritual beliefs.
I'm sickened by his number of missed votes while he was supposed to be serving the people who elected him to the Senate (and excuses don't wash with me! Ask Dick Gephart.), while my candidate races back to Washington at the drop of a hat to cast his vote for his constituents.
I'm sickened by the calls from his supporters to rally right now and give up on making sure my issues are heard and considered.
I'm sickened by the implications that he's been involved in despicable campaign tricks.
And today, I'm sickened by the fact that he is being stuffed down my throat at every turn when less than half of the 50 States have cast their votes for the Nominee. The more this happens the less I want to vote for him. I didn't like it wen it was Howard Dean and I don't like it now that it's John Kerry. I wouldn't like it even if it were Dennis Kucinich! G-Dammit, I have a mind thank you DLC, DNC and media slime! I want to use my OWN mind to choose my candidate and you'd damned well better start assisting in that or you can say goodbye to this viewer for good.
As disgusted as I am by all tis, I'm equally disgusted by my own desire to see Kerry brought down. I didn't wish it on Howard Dean or any of the other candidates, so why do I want to see it happen to Kerry?? Maybe there's a personal anger at the disappointment his recent positions have left me with. Maybe because the stuffing down my throat seems more forceful now than it was with Howard Dean and I find myself choking and even gagging on it in a way I didn't when Dean was the front-runner.
I'm at a loss here. Floundering in anger and disgust and wishing I had some brilliant means of making my candidate surge because I genuinely believe he is our best hope against Bush.
Governor Dean, WHY did you have to be so dismissive of my candidate and by extension me? Why did you have to say and do things that you KNEW would make me detest you when you needed support? What will you do now, Governor? Will you become Kucinich's twin, staying in against all odds because you know you can't let your supporters down? Or will you wake up and see that Dean and Kucinich together would slaughter the opposition both Primary and GE? Will you repair the division your arrogant comments dismissing Kucinich and his supporters have caused and create a real chance for dramatic change in this country? Please?
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