BILL CLINTON: 'Screw It, I'm Running For President'

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

CHARLESTON, SC—After spending two months accompanying his wife, Hillary, on the campaign trail, former president Bill Clinton announced Monday that he is joining the 2008 presidential race, saying he "could no longer resist the urge."

"My fellow Americans, I am sick and tired of not being president," said Clinton, introducing his wife at a "Hillary '08" rally. "For seven agonizing years, I have sat idly by as others experienced the joys of campaigning, debating, and interacting with the people of this great nation, and I simply cannot take it anymore. I have to be president again. I have to."

He continued, "It is with a great sense of relief that I say to all of you today, 'Screw it. I'm in.'"

In a show of respect, Clinton then completed his introduction of Hillary Clinton, calling her a "wonderful wife and worthy political adversary," and warmly shook her hand as she approached the podium. A clearly shocked Mrs. Clinton got halfway through her speech about the nation's obligation to its children before walking briskly offstage.

-snip-

"All I am asking of the American people is four more years," Clinton said at a fundraiser Tuesday where tens of thousands of South Carolinians gathered to stare in gape-jawed wonderment at the former president. "Well, maybe eight. Actually, you know what, definitely eight. Eight more years."

www.theonion.com/content/news/bill_clinton_screw_it_im_running

[Armstead]

1. The Onion is sounding more and more like real life these days

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

4. This is the headline that made me realize they were no longer doing satire

from January 26, 2001:

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

[Radical Activist]

2. heh

good one

[robbedvoter]

3. I loved it, and the photo too! I miss Bill!

[Gman]

5. Well it's about damn time

sounds good to me!

[all.of.me]

6. comedy=truth=pain

That is the very first thing I learned in a comedy writing class. Comedy is closer to the truth than anything, and it all stems from pain. Ironic.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

7. kicking for the lulz