Do you have an "old uncle who says things that you don't always agree with"?

[EmilyAnne]

Tell me about him. Or her.

Mine is actually my 87 year old Mexican grandmother.
She can offend and inspire like NO ONE else in my life.
I would not be the woman I am today without her. She is brilliant, strong and kind. She still, at the age of 87, puts in hours of community service every week! She is a bridge to a cultural heritage and experience that I desperately needed.
Yet, at times, she displays some of the most outlandish opinions, bigotry and downright ignorance. How can I treasure so many of her words of advice, yet despise so many others?

Barack Obama's black father died 26 years ago. He had always been a remote figure. I think Barack Obama befriended Jeremiah Wright seeking a connection with part of his black heritage. It seems he also found a father (or uncle) figure. It would be very hard for him to completely bash this man. He is a human being, as ridiculous as he may sound at times. What can Barack Obama reasonably do about this "old uncle"?

[Freddie Stubbs]

1. You can't choose family, but you can choose pastors

[ThatBozGuy]

3. You chose congregations not pastors.......

[Freddie Stubbs]

15. If your pastor is a whackjob, you can choose a congregation with a different pastor

[EmilyAnne]

21. Some people do storm out when faced with something offensive. They go seeking people who perfectly

reflect their beliefs. They don't want to be challenged, they want to disagree, they don't want to ever be offended. Other people are not so afraid of that, I guess. Its not so absolute for everyone, I guess. Nothing in Barack Obama's actions, words or policies show that he has a racist agenda. Same can be said about the Clintons. Its absurd.

[elixir]

36. Sorry, attending weekly sermons about how the white man has supressed the black man must effect him

AND his family.

[ThatBozGuy]

46. Sorry to dissapoint you these were only two sermons. Not weekly circumstances

The clips you have seen were from two to three sermons, One in 2003 and two in the last two months in REACTION to the attacks leveled against him. I realize you haven't been told that so your perspective is off.

[Freddie Stubbs]

38. There is a big difference between theological disagreements and crazy conspiracy theories claiming

that AIDS was created by the government to destroy African-Americans.

[EmilyAnne]

6. Well, I think he chose an instrument of the community which is the African American

church. Jeremiah Wright was the pastor of that church. And the sense of community as well as the positive attributions of the entire organization made a very strong impression on him. Over time, Jeremiah Wright became something like family.

As a lesbian who was, literally, disowned by half of my family, I know what it is like to try to assemble a "family of friends."
My point is that this pastor seems to be like a true, blood-related uncle to Obama.

[Freddie Stubbs]

17. This raises serious questions about why Senator Obama would choose such an 'uncle'

Fortunately the Republicans would never use such an issue against him the the general election.

[EmilyAnne]

20. Well, like I said, it seems that this man has done wonderful things in his community.

He has been preaching every Sunday for decades and who knows how wide the span of topics he has covered. We are seeing a few clips. The clips show some ridiculous and ofensive opinions, but dp they completely define this man? I don't think so.

I think his ability to rally a community together and make things HAPPEN has been very inspiring to Barack Obama.

[Freddie Stubbs]

39. There are those would would argue that Louis Farrakhan has done some wonderful things for

his community. But those things do not negate the hateful thing which he has done.

[PVnRT]

22. I love this line of reasoning

We can't select Obama to be the nominee because the Republicans will dig up dirt on him. And they won't on Hillary? Shit, the dirt on her is dug up and filed away for easy reference. If we're going to sit around and decide who is going to make the GOP say fewer mean things, then we might as well throw in the towel now.

[Freddie Stubbs]

40. We already know about all of Hillary's dirt

Who knows outrageous thing is going to come up next. Obama needs to repudiate this guy, stat.

[Iceburg]

28. His 23 yr relationship with Rev Wright + 17 yr relationship with Rezko

demonstrate a profound lack of judgment. Unfit to be CIC.

[Freddie Stubbs]

29. I would not say that those thing make him unfit to be President, but

they certainly make him vulnerable as a candidate for national office.

[davepc]

2. Yeah, and i wouldent vote him for president either.

[ThatBozGuy]

4. Which is why Mr Wright is not running, But Mr Obama is

But if you can't tell the difference, maybe you should read a bit. They hide that information in books and things about how individuals are responsible for themselves once they are adults.

[davepc]

7. The electorate doesn't care.

guilt by association.

Whats the difference between Mr. Wright and Obama and McCain and Hagee?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qNi7tPanUA

At least McCain didn't attent Hagees church for 20 years.

[baldguy]

9. What would you have Obama do?

Wright was never associated with the Obama campaign. He's already resigned from the church. Obama has already repudiated his remarks.

What more do you want?

[PVnRT]

23. Apparently, they want him to resign

The GOP might say mean things about Obama! That will guarentee a loss!

[ThatBozGuy]

10. And this is why it doesnt have legs.......

[JohnnyLib2]

41. Zzzzzap!

think it was understood? LOL

[EmilyAnne]

13. I wouldn't vote my grandmother for president. But I won't judge her solely on small set of opinions.

Her actions, her entire life, when taken as a whole, prove that she is a good person. Flawed, bitter and sometimes foolish, but she is a good person.

What can be done with people like this?
Jeremiah Wright has led his entire congregation in taking simultaneous HIV tests. He addresses that disease that is hitting his community harder than any other demographic. That is amazing, considering that many churches would make no mention of the word. Yes, I think he has some screwy beliefs about where AIDS came from, but his good actions overshadow his remarks, in my opinion. Or at least they would make it very difficult to completely dismiss him.

[chyjo]

5. You just described ALL

of my uncles. My uncle Bob is probably given me the most quotable, or rather unquotable quotes. He is on the record as saying that both Evolution and rock music "Come from the Devil". He lobbied me for years to read a crazy book from the seventies called "Evidence that Demands a Verdict". Upon finding out that one of my closest friends is a lesbian I was chastised for being "Subverted by the gay agenda". And that only skims the surface.

[NDambi]

8. Yes! My Great Uncle Norman...

He calls my next door neighbors the "C" word and not Caucasian, either. He calls my brother's children Mexican jumping beans...and just embarrassing and infuriating things fall out his mouth all the time. Yet he's full of so much rich history and wisdom--you can sit and talk to him for hours about our history, heritage, where we came from--what we've been through. When it ends, you find yourself wanting more; needing him to feed your soul over and over again about your ancestors and their time. I've found myself weeping, laughing and/or angry as I listened to him.

He's the patriarch of the family and every year he holds court at our family reunion, gathers us around and tell his stories.

He's been barred from more homes than I can count..yet he doesn't care. He's 90 years old and says he's lived through enough shit to speak his mind, however he sees fit. Some in my family make excuses for him or let him slide because they say he's seen a lot in his life growing up down south in Georgia. His rantings against people make me uncomfortable and ill. I love my next door neighbors--they were the first ones that welcomed me to neighborhood! They've been there for me plenty of times and I've returned the favor. My nieces and nephews play with their children. I appreciate them and I don't care what color they are...and he's told me I shouldn't associate so close to white people because they can not be trusted. Grrr...of course, I ignored him.

At times he's a treasure, and at other times, he's just infuriating and embarrassing.

[EmilyAnne]

12. YES! That's exactly what I get out of my grandmother.

She was born on the American side of the border, but only spoke Spanish at home. If she accidently spoke Spanish at school, she would get spanked. She wasn't allowed to play with the white children after school. She remembers being called a "dirty mexican" by the PARENTS of the white children. She was sexually groped by a teacher when she was in high school, something observed by one of her sisters, and the school accused them of being Mexican trash. The teacher stayed, my grandmother and her four sisters ALL dropped out of school because they were ashamed. They all went to work picking fruit rather than get a decent education.

It totally boggles my mind to even imagine that time period, to imagine being treated like trash and called trash. Most of her bigotry comes out when she starts getting riled up about how she was treated by white people.
She talks about "The White People" sometimes so harshly that you'd forget she was happily married to one for 60 years! And I'm about as pale as they come!

[NDambi]

16. Emilyanne...I understand!

:pals:

[pdxmom]

11. My father. He is an amazing man. He went from total, abject poverty

in Appalachian during the 30's and 40's to completing college and grad school and becoming a very moving force in the education field. He was an innovator and forward thinking. He worked to integrate the disabled into mainstream schools and after retirement, opened a day care for minority single mothers and worked with a group finding employment for newly released ex-cons.

And he uses the n-word.

[EmilyAnne]

27. Thank you. Just curious, but do you ever engage him in conversation about the beliefs you disagree

with? Or do you just see it as one of those off limit topics?

[pdxmom]

31. No, I've engaged him. And my daughter has outright called him racist

to his face for using it. He totally denies it. Says that is a word he grew up with and it isn't racist. He's 81, so I'm sure it's ingrained and he probably doesn't even realize he says it. He points out that his actions show him as he is and that words don't prove anything.

[yourout]

14. My brother in law is a drunk racist piece of shit.

He might be the biggest racist I have ever met.

[EmilyAnne]

19. So, no. You don't have someone like this in your life. I'm talking about good people who do good

things, people who you respect and love who ALSO have some opinions that you find offensive.

Your brother in law sounds like some of my uncles that I refuse to ever speak to again. I have found no reason to have a relationship with them (and they pretty much HATE me anyway).

I feel bad for your sister. I hope he at least treats her with kindness.

[JohnnyLib2]

18. What a valuable OP!

(Yes, I have 'em, too)

You make this point so well: we all have the voices of beloved elders around us. As we grow, expand, think more, we have options. Listen, sift, rebel, leave 'em behind or whatever -- and of course vote privately.

[EmilyAnne]

24. Thank you so much. I was really afraid of posting this because I'm new and its such a touchy topic.

[JohnnyLib2]

42. Yes, this is a rough bunch to take on.

I didn't bother to mention that I'm a Clinton supporter who thinks that long range goals are more important than the current runaway partisanship.

The Viet Nam years tore apart families, congregations and so forth in ways that are still with us (as did the civil rights movement in the same era). I truly don't want to see those kinds of severe fracture again.

:thumbsup:

[Evergreen Emerald]

25. Its about a lack of Judgment on Obama's part

He choose to associate with Wright. He has listened to his sermons for 20 years. And my guess is he and Michelle are standing up and shouting Amen along with the rest of the crowd.

When someone is speaking offensively, I leave--and I tell them.

Obama sanctioned Wright's sermons. Obama believes what WRight believes or he would not be there.

You all can try to minimize, defend, deny as you always do when anything comes up about Obama.

[EmilyAnne]

30. That's true. We, one the other hand, only have some clips of sermons pilfered from here and there

We don't know what this man has done in his community. We don't know any of his other sermons. The clip I saw of him discussing the AIDS epidemic and leading his church in a collective HIV test was awesome.

I'm glad that you are able to deal with offensive words so easily. Its never been that easy for me. It always depended on the context and my relationship with the person who is speaking. And, sometimes I want to hear opinions that absolutely do not jive with mine. I know I have a lot to learn and I hope to keep on learning until the day I die. I can't learn from an intellectual twin, you know?

[Evergreen Emerald]

43. I understand your point. But, if someone is encouraging

racism or sexism, I am certain many of us would not associate ourselves with that person. Obama has had a 20 year relationship with this person.

[Iceburg]

45. That logic is not sound: One's credibilty is not a tally of credits and debits

I'm sure we can find some tender words expressed by wife beaters, rapists, murderers and genocidal leaders -- that does not grant them a free pass.

Preaching venomous hate is a crime.

[Vinca]

26. Mine was my father. He routinely used the words "nigger" and "coon"

and called a local discount store a derogatory name that included the word "Jew." That was the 1950's and 1960's, but I remember it well. If I had every admitted to knowing a black person, let alone having a black friend, he would have grounded me for weeks. We cannot be responsible for the ignorance of others. My father also had many good qualities and I imagine Obama's minister does, too.

[Malikshah]

32. No, but HRC had an "aunt" named Ferraro.

Hypocrisy is ugly folks.

Coming from an Edwards supporter-- go clean yourselves up. You're a fright.

All this twisting and bending to spin this away smacks of desperation.

[EmilyAnne]

37. I'm not twisting or bending or spinning. I'm engaging in discourse on a website. Its OK.

[Malikshah]

44. You say Potayto, I say potahto.

Both candidates have crappy surrogates.

Folks need to step away and focus on bringing down the regime.

[elixir]

33. I'm not running for president and this "uncle" is not my spiritual leader.

[SeaLyons]

34. You are not running for the office of President...

Obama is!!! Sorry, his association with this pastor, and the influence it had to play in his life is scarey.

[Yossariant]

35. The Obama campaign should appoint Wright to a committee.

[LisaL]

48. Have you been living under a rock?

It already did.
Although he is no longer on the committee.

[LisaL]

47. No.