Here's a compiled list, but the other posters are right... G.W. has a Dan Quaylian quality that makes him so fun to laugh at. With McCain, it's more like watching an epileptic at a laser light show... It's slapstick that doesn't induce giggling.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/johnmccain/a/mccainisms.htmJohn McCainisms
Dumb Quotes from Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain
Maybe that's a way of killing them." --responding to a report that $158 million in cigarettes have been shipped to Iran during Bush's presidency despite restrictions on U.S. exports to that country, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July 8, 2008
"Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that's a disgrace. It's an absolute disgrace and it's got to be fixed." --on Social Security, Denver, Colorado, July 7, 2008
"That's not too important. What's important is the casualties." --on when U.S. troops will return from Iraq, "Today," NBC, June 11, 2008
"I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks." --speaking at the National Small Business Summit, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"Well, basically, it's a Google." --on how he's conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008
"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies." --Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"I'm glad to have his endorsement. I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything. And thanks for asking." --after being asked by George Stephanopoulos about receiving the endorsement of Evangelical pastor Rev. John Hagee, who has made a number of controversial remarks, including calling Catholicism "The Great Whore" and blaming Hurricane Katrina on gays
"Make it a hundred...That would be fine with me." -to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush's vision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years
"I'm going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated."
"Well, it's common knowledge and has been reported in the media that Al Qaeda is going back into Iran and receiving training and are coming back into Iraq from Iran. That's well known. And it's unfortunate." -before correcting himself by saying Iran was training "extremists," not Al Qaeda (Watch video clip)
"I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican...Hello? Easy there." (Watch video clip)
"I am a illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get." -after being asked whether us uses a Mac or a PC (Watch video clip)
"The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should. I've got Greenspan's book."
"It's not social issues I care about."
"F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." --to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation
"There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today." --prior to visiting a Baghdad market while being flanked by 22 soldiers, 10 armored Humvees, and two Apache attack helicopters
"You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." (Watch video clip)
"I had something picked out for you, too - a little IED (improvised explosive device) to put on your desk." --to Jon Stewart
"Americans are very frustrated, and they have every right to be. We've wasted a lot of our most precious treasure, which is American lives." --on the Iraq war
"I think I'd just commit suicide." --in October 2006, on the prospects of the Democrats taking back the Senate in the November election
"No, I'm calling you a f*cking jerk." --to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?"
"Only an a**hole would put together a budget like this ... I wouldn't call you an a**hole unless you really were an a**hole." --to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Repulican Sen. Pete Domenici, during a Senate budget hearing
"I would rather have a clean government than one where quote First Amendment rights are being respected, that has become corrupt. If I had my choice, I'd rather have the clean government."
"I am sure that Senator Clinton would make a good President. I have no doubt that Senator Clinton would make a good President."
"There's no doubt in my mind that we will prevail and there's no doubt in my mind, once these people are gone, that we will be welcomed as liberators." --on the Iraq war, "Hardball" interview, March 24, 2003
"We're going to prevail and we will win and it'll be one of the best things that's happened to America and the world in a long time 'cause it'll reverberate throughout the Middle East." --on the Iraq war, "Meet the Press" interview, March 3, 2003
"I said, 'The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.'"
"At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." -to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said "You're getting a little thin up there," as reported in the book The Real McCain by Cliff Schecter (Watch spoof video)
"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." --at a 1998 Republican fundraiser
~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman