"Ordinarily we do not interfere in America's internal affairs," said a spokesman for the rest of the planet, "even when it has become clear, as in recent years, that American voters are about to elect ignorant, incoherent buffoons who will add immeasurably to our immiseration. But this time is different. We didn't think it was worth our while to step up for your Carter or Mondale or Dukakis or Gore or Kerry -- besides, we'd only be bombed or invaded for our trouble. But this time, I mean, come on -- you've got to be kidding me, right? Please tell me you're kidding."Pointing to polls that show Obama leading McCain 94 percent to 6 percent everywhere on the inhabited globe except the United States, where most polls give Obama a narrow one- to three-point lead,
the entire world suggested that Americans might not be sufficiently informed about the U.S. election. "Look, this isn't funny," said a world representative, who spoke on condition of anonymity.
"You've got one candidate who has a reasonably sane and comprehensive foreign policy combined with detailed knowledge of American domestic affairs, and another candidate who isn't always sure which country he's talking about and whose domestic policy consists of telling people to stop whining. Why are you even throwing this open to a vote? Are you people out of your minds?"snip
The newly-formed Sunni-Shi'ite Reconciliation Committee, meeting in Damascus, issued a press release timed to coincide with the world's open letter.
"We are deeply disturbed," the committee wrote, "that the United States might elect a president who does not know the difference between Sunni and Shi'ite Muslims and who has to have a special friend whisper in his ear every time he makes a mistake. We wonder whether Americans would elect a president who did not understand the difference between your Catholics and your Protestants. And so it is that we stand united, as we have not stood in centuries, in our conviction that such a man is not fit to serve as President of the United States."
On a related note, Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki asked the entire world why the U.S. media have failed to acknowledge his government's endorsement of Obama's plan for the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.
"I do not understand what is wrong with their Washington Post," Maliki said in a prepared statement. "I recall that it used to be a pretty good newspaper. But now I fear that its editorial pages have been taken over by what the Qu'ran calls 'a bunch of wankers.'""I assure you that the Senator is completely up to speed on new technologies and is aware of e-mail," said one staffer. "But he was shaking the laptop in order to get the mail to come out, and he wound up throwing it against a wall. We want to point out, however, that the Senator does not have a problem with his temper, that he is aware of the existence of the Goggle, and that the Internets suffered no permanent damage as a result of this event."
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/07/25/world_writes_open_letter_to_mc/#more