A Repost....Can you try to understand

[Liberalboy]

I posted this soon after the Vice-Presidential Debate when Biden stated his opposition to Gay Marriage; if you guys remember, DU was a harsh place back then for GLBT folks who felt slighted, and a lot of vocal Duers were upset that GLBT folks were feeling down and out and saying that we were going to cost the President-Elect the election.

Here we are a few months later, with another incident in which the new administration, our administration, is once again slapping GLBTers in the face, and once again DUers are telling us to shut up and deal with it, but I don't want to and I shouldn't have to. So instead of an angry and hateful post I thought it might be better to remind some of you why we feel the way we do, and ask for your understanding again. Because the truth is, we GLBTers alone will never win this fight...we need our straight friends, allies and neighbours to be our voice because you are the majority and we are not.

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From October 3, 2008:

For those of you out there who are part of the majority culture out there when it comes to sexual orientation can you take a moment to understand where your fellow Democrats (gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans) are coming from today? We don't hate Obama and Biden, we won't not vote for them, or give them money or volunteer our blood, sweat and tears; we are just frustrated for once again being thrown under the bus by the party.

Now before you flame me, I understand the Democrats are the better of the two major parties out there. I was raised by Democrats, have always voted Democrat, never missed an election, and been active in local and state politics. I grew up in Massachusetts, the bluest of states, and Michael Dukakis' family grew up one village over from my mother in Greece. In this election I have sent money to Obama even though I can't afford it, I've put up a yard sign up here in Canada and have even tried to persuade fellow ex-pats and relatives to vote Democratic.

It's hard though when you're reminded once again that you are not valued by society; some of us have gone through abandonment by our own families, living on the street, addicted to drugs, intense periods of self-loathing and internalized homophobia because of the reaction we have gotten from those around us who think our idea of love is perverse and unnatural.

We wake up on some mornings and wonder if we will be fired from our jobs (yes, that can still happen in half the states) just because of who we are, worry about being refused visitation in hospitals to see our dying partners because we are of the same sex, aching to remember if we packed the power-of-attorney on our vacation "just in case" something happens and hope the state we are in will "recognize" us. We make sure not to hold hands in public or show any sign of affection to our partner (even a hug) in some parts of the United States because that might mean losing your life.

We are reminded that we are ill and diseased because the Red Cross refuses to allow healthy gay men to donate blood because it's easier even though they test all the blood, we're picketed and protested at our funerals by hate-filled preachers who reminds us that even in the after-life we will never find peace, when we go to rent a hotel room in another city the front-desk clerk still has an odd look on his face when he sees two men requesting a King-sized bed.

You look on TV, in the magazines, on the radio and you see stereotypical portrayals of gay men and lesbians, or very limited ones; we are reminded every day we are not part of the dominant culture, but the dominant culture loves our money, our creativity, and our abilities as long as we make sure we don't mention that we like to share our beds with a member of the same-sex.

Finally when we find someone who is speaking to us, and asking for our help we delve into the campaign that states "Change is coming" and to have "hope"; we believe the words that come from Senator Obama's mouth and feel as though we might have a place at the table. I remember that same excitement with Bill Clinton when I was 18 and voted for my first President. We Marched on Washington with vigour and happiness thinking that ENDA would be passed, that Hate-Crimes legislation would finally happen, and that the ban of gays in the military would be lifted.

However, again, and again we get diminished policies passed, and toothless regulations enacted and then for the last 8 years they try to shove us back in the closet and threaten to make a constitutional amendment to bar us from ever having any rights that the nice straight couple down the street enjoys. So please, forgive us, when in the middle of our fighting, volunteering and cheering for Senator Obama and Senator Biden we falter for a moment because we got sucker-punched in the gut. We know they can't stand up for our rights and not be elected by the independents and conservatives, but it still hurts.

Where is our Johnson, where is our MLK, where is the leader that will finally one day stand up and welcome us into the American family with open arms and no pre-conditions; I'm hoping (truly) that it is Barack Obama, but for right now I just want to come to a place like DU and be comforted and not attacked because last night's words in the debate really hurt.

Thanks for listening, and I hope in some way you can understand how at least this Gay DUer feels, because tomorrow I will go back to fighting for Obama/Biden.