I picked the ones I liked the best but other are worthy.
20. The Christian Right“They always throw around this term ‘the liberal elite.’ And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What’s more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?”
18. On Bush “You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.”
12. On the Republican party“This is inarguably a failure of leadership from the top of the federal government. Remember when Bill Clinton went out with Monica Lewinsky. That was unarguably a failure of judgment at the top. Democrats had to come out and risk losing credibility if they did not condemn Bill Clinton for his behaviour. I believe Republicans are in the same position right now. And I will say this: Hurricane Katrina is George Bush’s Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is that tens of thousands of people weren’t stranded in Monica Lewinsky’s vagina.”
10. On Thanksgiving“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
5. On rival presenters, 2004With reference to Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala: “They said I wasn’t being funny. And I said to them, ‘I know that, but tomorrow I will go back to being funny, and your show will still blow’.”
2. On Ronald Reagan’s funeral“I guess the people I feel worst for are Carter and Ford. Because they have to be watching all this thinking, we’re not getting that.”
1. On Iraq“We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There’s just one problem - it’s in North Korea.”
http://www.hecklerspray.com/the-top-20-jon-stewart-jokes/200919257.php