Things Rahm Emanuel is responsible for

[Arkana]

(I had to make this its own thread because I wasted way too much time creating it.)

There seem to be a lot of folks here who harbor a deep dislike of Barack Obama's chief of staff, Rahm "I Will Fuck Your Shit Up" Emanuel. And, to be quite honest, I don't blame them. Rahm's been responsible for a lot of things:


--The fall of Troy
--Defeat of the Spartans at the Pass of Thermopylae
--The fall of the Roman Empire
--The Dark Ages (and the plague!)
--The Stamp Acts, Tea Acts and Intolerable Acts
--The Boston Massacre
--The Whiskey Rebellion
--The War of 1812
--Andrew Jackson and the Trail of Tears
--The Panic of 1837
--The Mexican War
--Slavery in all its forms, anywhere in the world it existed in the last 500 years
--South Carolina's secession from the Union in 1860 and the consequential firing on Fort Sumter
--All the deaths at Gettysburg, Antietam, and Shiloh
--The assassination of President Lincoln (apparently Booth was innocent!) and the attempt on Secretary of State William Seward's life
--The theft of the election of 1876 by the Republican Party (good news, President Hayes! It wasn't the corrupt fucks in your party after all! It was that evil bastard Rahm Emanuel!)
--The assassination of James Garfield (nope, it wasn't Charles Guiteau!)
--The economic panics of the 1880s and 1890s, as well as the Bonus Army
--The assassination of William McKinley (Czolgosz was innocent!)
--World War I (yes, Rahm shot Duke Ferdinand and his wife!)
--The Great Depression (Yup! All of it!)
--Hitler (and yet Rahm is Jewish! How'd he do it????)
--The attack on Pearl Harbor
--The dropping of the atom bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki
--The Korean "Conflict"
--The Cuban Missile crisis
--The assassination of John F. Kennedy (Yup! Oswald, Giancana, aliens...none of that! Rahm was the lone gunman, folks!)
--All facets of our involvement in Vietnam
--Richard Nixon
--The long lines for gas during the Ford/Carter years
--Ronnie Raygun, Iran-Contra, and Star Wars
--Monica (yes! He told her to go suck Bill Clinton's dick!)
--The theft of the election in 2000
--Most severe medical conditions, weather patterns, and the reason I CAN'T FIND MY GODDAMN READING GLASSES.

[grantcart]

1. You forgot Genital Herpes

[firedupdem]

9. ROFL!!

You are on a roll today! Thanks for making me laugh multiple times today!!

[geckosfeet]

2. I got a rash becaue of him too,,,

[underpants]

3. Rahm is exactly the type of guy anyone would want on that job

He brings not only a great ability to get done what needs to be done but the ability to maneuver on the Hill that most Chief of Staffs have not brought to the job. He also can be Obama's pit bull and clearly the O man is going to need that.

[SharonAnn]

15. While he wouldn't be my "friend", I'd hire him to get things done!

[lamp_shade]

4. He should be put under house arrest..... MY HOUSE thank you.

I love the guy.

[Aloha Spirit]

16. lol

[pink-o]

17. Oh, it's throw-down time! I'll fight ya for him!

Although, as I said before, I think Amy could knock the snot outta me with one blow, so I better not try one on her hubby.

[Divine Discontent]

5. I think you're being unfair regarding the 2000 decision, that's clearly Scalia's doing, otherwise,

I won't disagree.

[tritsofme]

6. Lots of DUers sure do like to have an evil boogeyman

Whether his name is Karl Rove or Rahm Emanuel.

[RollWithIt]

7. If you stand in Rahm's way he will make you disappear

One moment you will be there and the next you will cease to exist.

[brentspeak]

8. You forgot to mention that he's prevented good Democrats from being nominated

and instead hand-picked beltway whores who either ended up losing or flaming out.

[Runcible Spoon]

12. snicker.

:applause:

[Occam Bandage]

19. Of course he did.

Because every time you don't get your pony, it's because the boogeyman stole it away.

[w4rma]

27. This is true. Rahm appears to have a huge problem with progressives in public office. (nt)

[Jennicut]

10. Rahm will cause the end of the world in 2012.

The guy sends dead fish to a pollster he didn't like. I want a guy like that fighting for us. Dems are Dems to me unless they are so conservative as to be Repukes. Rahm is a moderate.

[girl gone mad]

26. Dead fish

Sorry, but that's just childish.

[stevenleser]

11. Can #7 and #8 provide links or proof

or are we supposed to go on their say so?

[GoCubsGo]

13. And, here I thought Bill Clinton was the root of all evil....

At least, that's what I've been told for the past 16 years. I really don't know how these guys look themselves in the mirror every morning. ;-)

[phleshdef]

14. LOL. This is almost turning into something like that Chuck Norris joke phenomena.

[Occam Bandage]

18. I'd K&R this, but frankly if Rahm Emanuel wanted me to, he'd have already made me. nt

[Gold Metal Flake]

20. Tha MuthaFukken Stamp Act!

That son of a BITCH!

[cliffordu]

21. And my allergy to Viagra.

[NoPasaran]

22. Rahm told the Donner Party the weather would be "partly cloudy"

He also started the Great Chicago Fire (Mrs. O'Leary's cow was FRAMED!) and convinced NBC to schedule Super Train.

[Honeycombe8]

23. I'm sure Rahm's mother is proud. Lots of accomplishments.

[JeffR]

24. Hmm.

He's a fixer and I believe that's why he got his post.

But I like it much better that he's pursuing the President's agenda and not his own, because I don't believe his own agenda is altogether healthy. That said, I think he can kick some serious in this position. He probably already has.

[Sebastian Doyle]

25. I heard he invented the Jonas Brothers.

God damn you Rahm! :grr:

[EFerrari]

28. Too bad electing Democrats isn't on that list.

[girl gone mad]

30. Touché. n/t

[midnight]

29. They need someone who will keep them on task.