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Dear Governor,
I really appreciate you making an absolute ass out of yourself with your goofy-assed story of leaving your post as Governor to inexplicably go on a "hike on the Appalachian Trail" to write down your thoughts, get some fresh air and perhaps wrote little sonnets under the stars. No one knew where you were and you couldn't be located because you didn't have your mobile phone. Your wife even played along and said you were getting away for some rest.
Then, of course, people saw you at the Atlanta airport in a South Carolina state vehicle instead of picking lillies on Big Bald Mountain.
So days passed. Your staff covered up your tracks, no pun intended.
All those speeches and interviews during the Tea Bag Protests really come in handy now, Governor. You were against the government's wasteful spending. You didn't want the stimulus money. It's funny now, since you were using state property and state tax dollars to polish your Little Johnny with someone who your constituents would consider a "mongrel", a "spick", a "wetback".
I'm guessing that you won't be invited to speak at the Tea Bag protests in early July. That embarrassing event for the Republican Party will probably overshadow the utter, complete embarrassment you are to the Republican "cause".
So you were going to Argentina on the taxpayer dime and "crying for five days". About what? Your love of tango and boinking a former model named Maria? Because you knew you were finished politically and wanted to get some "T&A", as you mentioned to a staffer just before you left?
I know. The story isn't over. We haven't seen any photos of the woman you had an affair with. Is she still alive? Just as you chastised Bill Clinton for his episode and demanded his resignation, you will eventually have to do the same thing.
You will. And your hypocrisy on so many levels is pure comic gold as well as yet another reason to show why Republicans are not the Party of Purity and Moral Values.
Perhaps you might dial up Dick Cheney and see if he wants to go hunting.
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