Restaurant play if Birther Republicans against healthcare reform were involved

[zulchzulu]

Imagine these people screaming at town halls if they were in a play set in a restaurant... here goes...


The restaurant is very busy. At one of the tables a lady, Thelma, early sixties and a Republican, has just sat down. Walter comes to her table and hands her the menu.

WALTER
Here you go.

Thelma makes a gesture suggesting she doesn't need to see it. Walter understands.

THELMA
Tomato soup with chicken?

WALTER
Certainly. It's very good.

Thelma then stands up and raises her hand and looks around the restaurant at the other customers.

THELMA
I read on the internet and have printouts that the Tomato soup was made by space aliens! Space aliens! I heard about it on the radio on the way over! And the chicken is not chicken. It's people! From Mexico! You're trying to make me... no, force me to eat Space Alien soup with chunks of dead illegal aliens! Glenn Beck said you guys are evil!!!

(A few of the customers stand up and cheer and start chanting "Don't eat here!" and then sit down and continue eating.)

WALTER
M'am, you don't have to have the soup. You can choose whatever you want on the menu. Here you go. May I suggest the Special? It's Meat Loaf with Mashed Potatoes and a side of...

THELMA
No!!! First you want to poison me with the Space Alien Soup with Illegal Alien Chunks and now you want me to be force fed Dog Meat with Wallpaper Paste and Lice! I HATE LICE!!!

WALTER
M'am, you can always go somewhere else if you don't like the food we have here... you have a choice. If you don't want to eat here, you can go across the street...

THELMA
You're trying to KILL ME!!! You MADE ME come into this restaurant and then you wanted to poison me! I see those black people in the kitchen! Laughing at me! They aren't even from this country! Where's their birth certificate! Where's yours???

WALTER
M'am, you had better go somewhere else. You can go anywhere else or you can stay here. It's your choice.

THELMA
The government is taking over this restaurant! I see it! You are satanic! You are a socialist! This isn't even what the sign says it is outside!

WALTER
OK. So an order of Space Alien Soup with Illegal Alien Chunks to go. Be right back.

THELMA
See! See! (runs out of restaurant and into the street and gets run over by a bus)

[Hello_Kitty]

1. OMG that is funny! eom

[The Wielding Truth]

2. Very good with a recommend.

[nykym]

3. I like

the ending,has a kind of permanence to it.

[zulchzulu]

4. I thought about doing a Fatal Attraction/Glenn Close ending...

...but, yunno...

Actually, I took out the line where Walter says "Aww...poor bus..." as the final line.

:rofl:

[zbdent]

5. sounds like the script they're following

at the Town Hall Screams ...

[zulchzulu]

6. Ya think?

:rofl: