I beat the crap out of a Freeper in golf today

[zulchzulu]

I played golf today in the lovely weather we're having in Madison.

It was a popular day to play since it is probably the last weekend where it will be POSSIBLE to play in this weather zone outside. As an aside, I love golf for its challenges from a physics standpoint as well as it's nice challenging nature in a game.

Anyway, I showed up to play and had to join up with a threesome (lazy bastards in a cart) to play a round. Somehow Obama came up on the first tee and a couple dudes started railing on Obama and Acorn and Reverend Wright.

From a golf purist standpoint, politics in the ungentlemanly approach is forbidden... at least where I grew up. But I digress...

So this one guy, Allen, starts railing on Obama as we are waiting to tee off. I interjected that I support Obama and did lots of grassroots work for him in 2007 and 2008. He is stunned! "Wow, somebody still supports that Marxist!", he droned like a penisless Beck fan. I said "we kicked your ass in 2008 and we will kick you into the rough in 2010!" Awkward laughter ensued.

So off we went to play a round of golf.

I had the best round I've had in years. We were betting holes and Allen owed me $300 ($50 for best hole) after the front nine. I was doing scratch golf (doing par) to his occasional double and triple bogey sloppiness.

Still, he would jibe me when I was teeing off about how "Obama is destroying America" and "Why aren't we just fighting the enemy in Afghanistan..." and "Your socialist healthcare is going to make America fail..." and other jabs that were built on well-developed masturbatory antics from Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity.

So on the game went... and on I kicked his ass.

When the final hole (a 200 yard par three with a pond on the left) came, I said "this one is for Barack" and hot the ball about 10 feet from the pin. Allen hit it into the pond THREE TIMES! After I holed out and watched Allen try to make a 7, I just simply told him "don't fuck with Obama fans, chump"... I kid you not, but as I said that, his golf bag fell off its cart and golf balls rolled off and people around him laughed.

I actually think I remember Allen stopping by my Obama table at the Madison Farmers Market a while back telling me that Obama could never win because he's black.

I. Kicked. His. Ass.

[Barack_America]

1. Wow. That must have been satisfying. nt

[timeforpeace]

38. Good story. I like fiction. Strangers don't bet strangers $50/hole.

[intheflow]

39. The OP never said he was playing golf with strangers. n/t

[gateley]

2. We're. Proud. Of. You. nt

[jaysunb]

3. FORE !

:rofl:

[Clio the Leo]

4. Did you say to him, "why dont you read the rules, shankopotamus!"

... like the baby in the e trade commercial? I want to take up golf just so I can have a chance to say that at some point.

[msallied]

8. LOL! I love those ads.

[Jennicut]

5. That is how you deal with RW idiots. Ignore their mindless chatter while you whip their butt.

[ZombieHorde]

6. I don't know why, but I enjoyed your story. (throw some zombies in next time) K&R&nt

[msallied]

7. Masterfully done!

:yourock:

[Ineeda]

9. sweet victory.

You must have rattled him and screwed with his concentration. Remember that, the next time you play with him (if ever). :toast:

[dionysus]

10. YES!! i have been out with a ruptured disc since june, but i was able to hobble to the course

and hit some drives today myself.

[HughMoran]

11. Good story! The weather was nice today - I drove a bucket of balls myself

I thought passing a critical bill would be an inspiring story, but it turns out that reading about a round of golf has been the only bright spot today.

[msallied]

13. Tell me about it. lol

That and I'm envying the weather back east as I'm building an ark in my back yard.

[tabatha]

12. I . loved. that. story.

[Cha]

14. Good..just shoot

back that bush-cheney tried to ruin America but the perfect storm came along and President Obama is saving America's Ass.

[rppper]

15. all those beck/limbaugh types.....

...think god made sports for knucle-dragging right wing numb nuts...i like to tell them i eat beef and own a gun too...the draw jop is priceless...

[Historic NY]

16. Ha ha you ruined him for the week....I'd remind him long about Weds. of his loss.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

17. You Kicked His Ass!

How sweet it is!

Awesome story! Thank you for it!


K&R

:yourock: :fistbump: :fistbump: :yourock:

[Bonobo]

18. That was a vicarious thrill to read. Thanks. You kicked his ass. badly. nt

[Kdillard]

19. Well done :)

[Hepburn]

20. Scratch golf....

...WOW...:loveya:

Oh, yeah, and the Obama thing was really good, too...but...

...scratch golf....

I am in awe! :loveya:

[Onlooker]

21. That's the first golf story I ever read that I liked

Congratulations!

[Arugula Latte]

26. Ha ha! Me too.

I have this innate revulsion towards golf, but this story almost made me like it. :D

[bertman]

22. I was hoping you'd say you clubbed the Freeper SOB like a baby harp seal, but it's still

a great story.

[MadMaddie]

23. Man that must have felt great!!

I just picked up golf, I am surprised I still have clubs left.

[Kingofalldems]

24. How much cash did you collect?

I took a repub friend for about 10 bucks today. Nice going.

[Enrique]

25. West Siders I bet

;-)

[Odin2005]

27. Oh, that's HILARIOUS!!!

:rofl:

[Cirque du So-What]

28. Did you tell him you were donating most of your winnings

to ACORN? :evilgrin:

[Swamp Rat]

29. FORE!.. MORE YEARS!!

:D

[uponit7771]

30. K&R

[NoSheep]

31. Ahhhh. What a sweet story. I LOVE story time!

[mullard12ax7]

32. Did you pee on his Escalade too?

I'm off to the Islands, the weather's warmer there. What an annoyance of the highest order such uncivilized people are.

[ensho]

33. super - hugs and kisses

nt

[blue neen]

34. Beautiful story. You made my day.

Congratulations on the good golf game! :toast:

[sonias]

35. Beautiful story zulchzulu!

Hopefully his sorry head won't explode later. Or least we hope he has good health coverage if it does.

:applause:


Sonia

[southernyankeebelle]

36. You did it with class. Calm, cool and collect.

[janx]

37. This is one of the funniest stories I've read at DU in a very long time!

:rofl: :rofl:

"we kicked your ass in 2008 and we will kick you into the rough in 2010!" :rofl: !!!