You control the mic. to W's ear piece next debate. What do you say?

[autorank]

Running dialog, music, sound effects, streaming video? The possibilities are endless.

[Gyre]

1. The Cosby bit

where he's god talking to Noah (I think it was).

Gyre

[cheshire]

20. Or the bit about God talking to the nerd in Real Genius the movie.

[Warren DeMontague]

47. "Kent.... Stop Touching Yourself"

n/t

[auntAgonist]

2. 'i' george w bush concede the election to John F. Kerry ..

the BEST MAN for the office of the Presidency of the United States of America.

[salin]

3. Give up, George...

this is the father you claim to listen to speaking to you.

[The Doctor.]

4. Definitely Phone sex...

in his earpiece. We'll get Jenna Jameson to do it.

[autorank]

27. Pictures at 11?

[RoyGBiv]

5. Kent! This is GOD, Kent ...

STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF!!!!

Substitute "Georgie" for "Kent" of course.

(obscure movie reference)

[cheshire]

22. That's it LMAO

[Barney Rocks]

6. I'm a little teapot

short and stout...

[Bluebear]

7. "I am Gorth, King of the Tragma people! I being greetings!"

Take me to your leader!

[LibeMatt]

8. Music and words...

Music:

Industrial/avant classical stuff with lots of loud noises and bangs and unpredictable sudden volume changes.

Words:

Whenever he lies or distorts, VERY loudly:

*COUGHBULL$#!+COUGH*

[Media_Lies_Daily]

9. "You're toast, loser. Resign now."

[tech3149]

10. I'm a Loooooser

and that's just what I deserve to be

[incapsulated]

11. "Daddy never loved you..."

"You know it's true. He love's Jeb best. You were always a disappointment. To the whole family, really. Why not just accept it? You're a loser. Boy, I bet you could go for a drink right now... a.. nice.. tall... cool...beer... It's right outside. Waiting for you.... Go get it, you deserve it... and maybe a snort too... why not... didn't you do your best? Didn't you do what you were told? And for what? Save the world, ha! What a joke... You coulda been Baseball Commissioner... Nobody let's you do what you want to do... but I say go for it! Drink that beer! Fuck them all! Fuck this debate shit... Daddy never loved you..."

[autorank]

12. OMG, he'd be on the floor holding his head, writhing!

[Shopaholic]

15. Before or after I say

"Go Cheney Yourself?"

Sorry--couldn't control myself there for a minute. Okay--here's what I'd say "My fellow Americans. I want to admit right now that I'm a lying moron who is a puppet of others. See, I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying right now."

[kodi]

13. "Jesus Christ! Duck!"

.

[WI_DEM]

14. My fellow Americans, I'm a fraud who stole his way into the white house

and frankly this job is too damn much hard work. I Quit.

[MuseRider]

16. Oooh Ma Ma maow

papa ooh ma ma maow. (spelling uncertain)

[fizzana]

17. Throw up on the moderator.

n/t

[MatrixEscape]

18. A few ...

"Stop blinking so much George."

"Your face muscles look like a cross between contempt and the urge to vomit. Relax a little."

"This time, pause thoughtfully while we tell you what to say. Don't stutter and look dumbstruck!"

"That last water glass was empty! Use the next one to the left. No, your other left!"

"Get your hand out from behind you ... scratch your butt later!"

"Stop figiting with your papers. Since we are feeding you everything, you don't need to look like you are so lost."

[cheshire]

23. I'm dying laughing so hard.

[stevedeshazer]

19. The House just passed an impeachment resolution

Announce that you are resigning and get back back to the White House right away! We've got pardons for you to sign.

[BAPhill]

21. The U.S. is under attack!

Then he'll freeze up and not be able to do anything.

[autorank]

25. Priceless, welcome to DU!

[MatrixEscape]

28. THAT was funny! /me sees: Deer in the headlights look.

[Nobody]

46. For seven whole minutes

Even better if you can mimic Andrew Card's voice

[Jim Sagle]

24. "Condi said you had a one-inch dick."

[Zorbet55]

26. Tell them "it's hard work".

[elperromagico]

32. We're thinking on the same track here, Zorbet.

You know what? It's hard work coming up with things to say into Gee Dubya's ear. And we're workin' hard comin' up with new things to say into Gee Dubya's ear. Because... it's hard work.

[Window]

29. While he's squinting,

blinking, rolling his eyes and silently muttering, "Oh, God, why me??? in a slow, deep voice I'll say, "Cause you piss me off George!"

[elperromagico]

30. "Tell 'em it's hard work, Mr. President." n/t

[Zorbet55]

36. yes, it's not easy thinking of what can be said

into the ear of Bubble Baby that would help him. KKKarl and Dickie have been such protective and doting parents to him from the outset. The only other thing that I can think of is "Take some pride in yourself man; stand tall and stop drooling and snickering like a 2year old child"..or "George, you jackass, have you dookied in your pants again"?

[elperromagico]

40. Karl, Unka Dick, and Karen Hughes felt like parents

sending their kid off to his first day of kindergarten. Then they suddenly realized that they'd accidentally sent him to college instead.

[zinsky]

31. I Am The Child You Thought You Aborted!

That might shake him up a bit....

[incapsulated]

33. omg, that's eeeevil! :o)

[ZombieNixon]

34. "People of Earth...

...I am Lrrr of the planet Omicron Persei 8."

or pipe Green Day's "American Idiot" or NOFX's "Idiot Son of an Asshole" into him.

[LiberalEsto]

35. REALLY loud gangsta rap

with the bass cranked way up...


or that old 60s wierd talk/song, "They're coming to take me away, ha-ha"

[autorank]

39. Perfect

They're Coming To Take Me Away
by Xiv Napoleon

Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees and begged you
Not to leave because I´d go beserk?
WELL,

You left me anyhow and
Then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I´ve gone completely
out of my mind AND

They´re coming to take me away,
Haha, they´re coming to take me away,
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha,
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I´ll be happy to see
Those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they´re coming to take me AWAY,
HA HAAAA

[LiberalEsto]

42. Ah, that brings back such memories...

and they should record a Chipmunks version of it and switch back and forth betwen that and the original.

hee hee

[autorank]

51. Meltdown...bigtime. Like The Chipmunks!

[Bongo Prophet]

37. General Ripper's Precious Bodily Fluids Speech.

With sporadic German thrown in....

[Hobo]

38. I, George Walker Bush...

Resign the Presidency of the United States effective at noon tomorrow.

Peace

Hobo

[henslee]

41. I wanna rock right now, I'm Rob Base, I came to get down....

[Nobody]

43. I'll do the poor man a favor

I'll pipe in speeches from a respected statesman, my senator, Paul Wellstone. I'll include his answers to various questions on topics that don't arise at the debate. Especially including why going to war in Iraq was a bad idea.

Poor little Georgie needs all the help he can get, and Paul was a wonderful speaker and great human being.

[Chichiri]

44. I'd play Rush's cover of "Heart Full of Soul" over and over again

It's really catchy, and it would be fun to watch Bush subjected to it. "You can't lead this country if you aren't consistent, and if you send mixed messages that if she'd have me back again, that I would never make her sad, I've got a heaaaaaaaaaart full of soul. It's hard work!"

[thatgemguy]

45. Take the medicine.... take the medicine.... n/t

[Doohickie]

48. Take the BLUE pill!!!

[TrustingDog]

49. Freeance Peeance Miscreeants

ooga booga resolve! stay the corsets! mexican mushes!
god bless me.

[LowerManhattanite]

50. I'd play an endless loop of old commercial jingles...

"Here's to good friends. Tonight is kinda special. The beer we'll pour, must say something more somehow..."

"Here comes the king, here comes the king here comes the big num-ber one! Budweiser beer has got a taste that's second to none..."

"If you've got the time...we've got the beeeeeeer, Miller beer! Mil-ler tastes too good to hurry through..."

"Schaefer, is the one beer to have, when you're having more than oooooooonnnne!"

And a few other ones in that vein. :)

[baltodemvet]

52. Your not half the man your dad was, George, and you know it.

Why are you even here?
You're really no good at this.
You did ok as a cheerleader--that was probably your best role.
Wouldn't you rather be back at the ranch clearing brush.

Have a drink, George--just one to settle your nerves.

[autorank]

53. Hey George, welcomd to The Free State! n/t

[AnIndependentTexan]

54. That you love chimps and monkeys because they are easier to control

with leashes then your wife and kids.

[The Zanti Regent]

55. I'd play Chuck Berry's 'I WANNA PLAY WITH MY DING A LING" song

...because that is what Chris Matthews will be doing in the men's room during the next debate!

[LiberalEsto]

58. Bit of Imus trivia

Back in the late 70s, give or take half a decade, Don Imus was a disc jockey on some big NYC radio station. One day he got a bug in his head about playing "My Ding-a-Ling" over and over. It was like a death-wish.

I happened to tune in while driving and listened in horrified fascination to the drama as Imus played it repeatedly, despite demands from the station management to stop immediately. Imus defiantly played it one more time and was fired while on the air.

This was when decency rules still existed on radio, of course.

[Arkana]

56. Do this

"Hello, George. This is God. I think you're a blithering, blustering, bloviating moron."

[LiberalPersona]

57. "You're on your own now, chump." n/t

[demokatgurrl]

59. I whisper....

loser....loser.....loser......loser.......

[autorank]

60. ...and he slumps into an hypnotic stupor, drooling... excellent!