"Todd Palin in Contempt of Senate. His Lawyer Responds" - The Mudflats ( this is funny )

[Blue_In_AK]

http://www.themudflats.net/2009/02/07/todd-palin-in-contempt-of-senate-his-lawyer-responds/

He’s baa-ack! One of my most favorite dastardly characters in the Troopergate drama has returned to the show for a “two minute monologue,” as it were. I refer to the Palin’s lawyer, Thomas Van Flein. He figured heavily in Troopergate before Sarah Palin’s VP nomination. It’s been a while since we’ve heard from him, so allow me to remind long time readers and introduce new readers to the little Mudflats ritual regarding Thomas Van Flein.

Let me start by saying, that I don’t know Mr. Van Flein personally, and he looks nothing like this in real life, but for the purposes of our story, he has a snazzy black satin cape, a pair of killer pirate boots and a long, thin moustache, perfect for twirling between thumb and index finger. In addition to this, he has a German accent something like Colonel Klink on Hogan’s Heroes, and he can raise one eyebrow independently of the other one. And when you read the name “Van Flein”, (with a long i sound) which I will italicize as a reminder, you read it in your mind with the accent. OK, let’s try it out. (clears throat) “Van Flein”. Perfect.

We all know that Todd Palin, and nine others were recently held in contempt by the Alaska State Senate for ignoring legislative subpoenas to come and appear before the Legislative Council to testify in the ethics investigation commonly known as “Troopergate”. The vote was a staggering 16-1. That means Republicans and Democrats, Legislators who are attorneys and those who are not, young and old, conservative and progressive, those representing urban areas and those representing rural areas, all agreed. Contempt. It’s there in black and white. Nobody can unring that bell.

Now settle into your seats. We’re about to begin. The house lights go down, the curtain opens. There is no set, and the stage is black, except for one white hot spotlight. We hear steps….sounds like some kin of shiny black boots. A figure steps into the round pool of light. He looks at the audience, raises one eyebrow and twirls his moustache. It is….Van Flein.

He has two minutes to explain to us, why he thinks that Todd Palin did not ignore his subpoena. We’re all anxious to hear this, because we, being informed and knowledgeable people in the ways of Troopergate, know the following:

These ten people were subpoenaed to appear in person before the Legislative Council for questioning.

They didn’t.

They sued, arguing that the subpoenas weren’t valid.

They lost.

So what could he possibly have to say? This oughtta be good. He surveys the audience with an air of satisfaction, and pulls a scroll from under his cape, unrolls it, holds it out in front of him, and begins to read in a thick but understandable accent:

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