A Bloomberg press conference melt-down (parody)

[KurtNYC]

Mayor Bloomberg has a habit of asking himself questions during interviews. Have to think it is a control-issue thing. Here is my version of what Mike Bloomberg having a mental meltdown would go like:

NY1 Reporter Dominick Carter: Mayor Bloomberg, have you done any fund raising for your re-election campaign?

Bloomberg: I will be funding my own campaign again this time. I have flipped over some couch cushions and looked around on the floor of my car and found about $70 million in change so that should cover it. Would I like to have raised more money by now? Yes I would. Will $70 million be enough? I'm not sure.

We're a little short of time so let's try to keep it to one question per reporter. Okay. Jimmy.

Jimmy: You spent $25 million in city funds to promote the 2012 Olympics. The ad campaign seemed to be focused on convincing taxpayers that hosting the Olympics is a good idea. Do you think it is appropriate to spend the taxpayers money to change the taxpayers minds on issues like this one?

Bloomberg: Look, would I like to have won the Olympics? Yes I would have. Do I think advertising is the way to martial public support for anything I want? In a word - Yes.

Okay Jimmy got 3 questions. As I said let's keep it to one per person! ..yes, go ahead Michael... Mayor Bloomberg, you finance your own campaigns, use city funds to try and re-arrange the priorities of New Yorkers and never ask the public for consensus or support. Do you need the rest of us or is it all about you? Michael that is a very pointed question. Do I need you? I would have to say 'no.' In fact I could probably run this press conference myself without any of you here and if I did, I wouldn't have to answer questions like the one you have just asked of yourself. Would I like to tell you my favorite Beatles lyrics? Well yes I would: "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together"

(at this point what we thought was Bloomberg's head explodes and reveals that this was robot as we have all suspected for many years now - the buzzing gives it away. The real Michael Bloomberg is on an extended vacation in Bermuda of course.)

[KurtNYC]

1. Would I like to kick my own post?

Yes I would.