Help, my daughter is saving up to move to NYC

[Corgigal]

when she becomes 18. I guess sometime next summer. Isn't this awfully young to be in the city by yourself. I was raised in Westchester and love NYC but it's scary to think she will be out there, probably sharing rent with someone and living basically alone.

Can an 18 year old girl, with red hair and moxie pull this off? She'll be an adult and she said she needs to be there. She lived there under a theater group last month and met agents and took drama lessons. She told me the one thing she learned is "Mom, I have to live there."

Any suggestions? Can it be done?

[aquart]

1. Yes. But she'll be broke.

Which is a perfectly fine thing at her age. I knew every place I needed to be to get a free hamburger after rehearsals.

You're frightened because she'll be fresh meat and you're right. Does she have birth control? Does she know that you can catch herpes and AIDS and crabs from people who look healthy and delicious? Does she know that people talk and give details?

The only question I really have is: Does she have talent? Does she have the energy and drive it takes to get that talent noticed? And to never take the horribly personal rejections personally?

18 means she isn't going to college, and many of the people she meets will be cliques who met in college, but talent trumps everything.

Just remind her that only 5% of Equity or any other theatrical union is employed at any given moment, and most of those are making union minimums. So she needs a day job.

You'll be terrified every second and she'll be having the best time of her life. Because it's all hope.

Good luck to both of you.

[ThomCat]

2. It can be done, and many people do it.

But she needs to have a day-job, and she has to be willing to be broke despite this. She's going to need to be smart about finding a roommate too. Living alone is going to be impossible.

There are a lot of DUers here, and we know each other. We have periodic meetups. If you can introduce us to her she'll know some people here. That can mean quite a lot when you first get here.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

5. hey Thomkat! n/t

[HamdenRice]

3. The single most important thing

you can convince your daughter is that she NOT live in Manhattan. Living in Manhattan means paying an extra $1000 per month in order to NOT see trees, know your neighbors or feel safe.

Most of New York outside Manhattan is like a series of small towns. In the right neighborhood, she will immediately have foster parents, brothers and sisters to look after her. The safest part of the city is Queens, but she could also look for a nice area of Brooklyn. Greenpoint is really wonderful for people her age and just a few minutes from Manhattan.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

4. hey Hamden!! n/t

[SlavesandBulldozers]

6. tell her to move to Brooklyn.

and as Hamden pointed out, Greenpoint is cool. also areas south.

if she has a network established she should be fine, i'd say.

on edit: I wish i'd have had the moxie to come here earlier than i did (30).

[Corgigal]

7. Thanks everyone

I wanted to get back to this thread and read more suggestions and pass my thanks to everyone. She actually knows not to move to Manhattan and her last day spent in NYC she went around to apt shop. I also been reading Craiglist NYC to see if she needed a roommate how much that would work and where she would be set up.

We, the old parents, aren't fearful of her going. We admire her drive it's just going to be hard the day I help her unpack and say, OK now lets see if you can pull it. She might have a friend to go up there with her but she knows she might have to do it alone.

I loved the sentence, she will be broke but everyday full of hope. It's a really young thing, and that she will be.

Thanks for all your advise. I will contact this board area again in a few months. If you think of anythine else, please let us know.

[demodonkey]

8. I moved there, found an apt in the West Village, and gave MYSELF...

...my Equity card. (I produced a show just in order to do that.) It CAN be done.

OK that was some time ago; I was 25 and had two college degrees when I went there and started all that. And why am I not now sitting around polishing my Tony Awards? Well family illness and troubles at home brought me back to PA to help my parents. Now I fight for voter-verified paper ballots (in Pennsylvania) and accurate elections.

I had a friend who skipped college to head for NY at age 18 on the advice of a drama coach. He was talented, but those couple of extra years in college would have made the difference, IMHO. He never got anything other than some showcases and children's theatre. He's now pushing 45 and still working as an usher.

One thing she should consider is her type. If she is a really young ingenue type and talented, she may have some success. If she's a character type or "older woman" type, please please tell her if she must to go to NY, go for like a year and if nothing happens (and it probably won't at 18 if she's not an ingenue) then consider getting her degree and then GO BACK to NY again later as she gets experience and grows into her type.