Jon Stewart's Upper Darby Jokes

[JPZenger]

When Jon Stewart performed at the Tower Theater in Upper Darby (west of Phila), here were a few of his jokes:

"It's great to be back in Upper Darby. If this is UPPER Darby, I would really hate to see Lower Darby."

About Upper Darby's 69th Street pedestrian bridge:

"I'm not an urban planner, but if I was trying to revitalize downtown Upper Darby, I don't know if I would go with the giant 69. I find that when you're trying to lure business back, it's best not to go with an oral sex joke on your walking bridge."

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He also said it looked like the Tower Theater hadn't been cleaned since he saw a concert by the Alarm there in 1984.

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"I could understand gay marriage being a big issue if, say, the government was trying to make it mandatory. I can't quite wrap my head around why it's such an effective issue and why to many people care. And I know there's the religious argument that it's an abomination. But have you read the Bible? Everything is an abomination. If you read Leviticus, shellfish is an abomination. An abomination. Where's that sign at the protest? 'God hates fags...and scallops!"