Hopefully, since I teach inTN this is the right place to ask

[tiddlywinks]

I have a teacher assistant that is getting surly, and snippy with me both in front of students and when we're trying to attend to the business of the day. I asked assistant to reserve comments til we were in private. Assist. refused the notebook as a comment log.
I made a shelf for personal items when the assist. comes in the room and the remark was "It only happened once!" when I said I wanted it there because my keys walked off with assist. once. (Plus assistant just plops down personal items on top of books/papers on my desk.)

This is my fifth year. The Supervisor is aware of the problem and has to wait for the big super to get back from out of town but told me there may not be any alternatives or reassignments. The assistant is telling other ppl that I am trying to get (assistant) fired. The challenges of teaching are enuf for me and I'm no good at handling this behavior and the insinuations and veiled insults. I think it's pathological.

A little history: Assistant is good, and did this for two years at least before I came on board. There is a transfer of pwr occuring now. We now have new rules and "an understanding" or a "truce". ...i think.

I fully expect it to continue and I am going to have to document the comments because they erupt at fully unexpected times. Any links or suggestions on dealing with somewhat passive/aggressive ppl. Any suggestions on what I can say in return that doesn't lower me to that same level. Appropriate responses for times when it occurs both in front of students and in private. I know it will continue. Thank you for your help.
Please move this thread if you need to to the correct place. I have to leave for work now but will be waiting all day to get back to this post! Thanks!

[southernyankeebelle]

1. I don't know where you teach in Tn but I am not impressed with the teachers

where my child use to go. If I were you and if you could do without this assistant than I would tell the principle to move her now and you are willing to wait to get another assistant. After all it sounds like you are babysitting.

[TN al]

2. This sounds like a post from a new(er) teacher...

... Let me tell you that you're not the Lone Ranger here. My experience is that they all think they not only can but are doing your job and then they get resentful because of the pay disparity. Be firm in your rules and communicate them clearly. When she violates them re-teach them to her, privately. Find one of your tasks that she can and is willing to do and delegate it to her. This will give her a sense of empowerment. Bring her breakfast one day next week and keep a bag of Hershey Kisses in your desk. This will make her feel appreciated. Tell her often how much you appreciate what she does in the classroom and how much easier she makes your job but on occasion slip in the reminder that it is your butt on the line for what happens in the classroom and no one else's. Always keep in mind that you don't know what bundle of issues the next assistant may bring with her so adjust to the issues that this one has and your life will be easier. In time your assistants will rotate and you will get a different one. Above all, BE FLEXIBLE. In this economy I would hate to think that I might be even indirectly responsible for a person losing their job.

[cheapdate]

3. There is a standard way of handling situations like this

in employee-supervisor relationships. Of course, your situation is different, so you'll have to judge if the following is applicable. Anyhow, the process was taught to me years ago in a management training program for a company I used to work for. Over the years, I have found it to be very effective when used properly. Simply put, correct behavior is achieved through a series of conversations. A key element is to keep a written record of the conversations. The written record doesn't have to be fancy, just the date and a brief explanation of what was discussed. It doesn't have to be witnessed and notarized, just your own personal notes will suffice.

The conversations begin with behavior and expectations. Discuss the behavior and state the expectation clearly and concisely. If the behavior continues, have a second conversation. Remind the person of the previous conversation on such-and-such a date. Again discuss behavior and restate the expectation. At this time discuss consequences. State the consequences clearly and concisely. If the behavior continues, have a third conversation. At this point, the matter would be proceeding to disciplinary action.

Anyhow, that's an extremely abbreviated version of the process. Some key points not mentioned are that the discussion of the behavior is a 2-way discussion wherein the employee may give reasons for the behavior and the supervisor will explain how the behavior affects organizational goals.

Again, this is in the context of behavior modification in an employee-supervisor relationship. If I could give you only one piece of advice, it would be to keep a written record. Include in it the dates where you observe the negative behavior and notes of any and all conversations with the person about the matter.