Virginia Sends You Greetings... And An Envoy

[sofa king]

Me! That's right, I'm going to be scooting up to Masontown from Lexington, VA tomorrow, spreading good will and solidarity by temporarily inconveniencing drivers. I'll be the guy on the overloaded red scooter doing 30 mph on the far right.

If any of you West Virginians want to tell me about your exotic state's customs and rituals, I'm all ears. For example, far away in Virginia, we like to greet passers by by giving them free food, lots of medicinal marijuana, and occasionally oral sex. Ha ha, wouldn't it be capital to discover that the people in your far away land do the same? Yes, it would.

So if you're heading up 250/219 or 72 between Huttonsville and Parsons sometime tomorrow morning, feel free to greet this Ambassador of All Good by giving him a honk--after you pass, please, so you don't startle me and kill me. And if you have food, medicinals, or oral sex to offer this Virginian, please do! I've had none of two of those things in a long time... and I haven't starved yet. I have all day to get to Masontown (which is a good thing because that's how long it's going to take), so if there are any interesting sights along the way, let me know!

Seriously, though, if 250/219 is too dangerous for a 50cc scooter, someone please tell me right away, so I can plan an alternate route. Two lanes going in the same direction is a big, big plus for a slow guy like me; a wide shoulder is also good. No shoulder, a 55mph speed limit, and lots of hills and curves is pretty much doom, but that's what I'm planning on the whole way. Luck, which rarely abandons me despite my near-constant supidity, will be needed.

If you happen to be going to the All Good Music Festival outside of Masontown, well, I guess I'll see you there. I'll be the guy with the "Worst President Ever" shirt. Spot me and I'll give you a free magazine.

sofa king

[Staph]

1. Boy, did you pick a hard trip to make!

US 250 from Monterey to the West Virginia border is one of the worst routes for crossing the mountains. Too many mountains, too many curves, and badly designed to boot (the curves are flat, not banked). You would be better off continuing up US 220 to Franklin, WV, and then taking US 33 across the mountains. You'll end up in Elkins, and you can follow route 92 the rest of the way to Masontown. US 33 will take you through what I think of as the Almost Heaven part of the state, Pendleton County. Stop and enjoy the view at Seneca Rocks. And when you get to Masontown, have some pepperoni rolls. The locals will know where to find them.

(And if you have any more questions, let me know. My mother is from that neck of the woods -- I learned to drive on those roads on summer vacations at my grandmother's house.)

[sofa king]

2. Oh, I should have read you before I left, Staph.

You're so right. It took me an hour to limp over Cheat Mountain alone, and then once I got onto 250/219 I ran into massive traffic, with huge trucks carrying loads of trees.

The curves, especially bad ones, aren't such a big deal because I can actually negotiate tight curves at traffic speeds. On the way back I went 7 > 72 through that totally awesome stretch high above a river on which trucks aren't allowed > 32 > 33 > Harrisonburg > 11 > Staunton > Lexington.

That section of 72 was like nothing I've ever seen, except maybe in Venezuela or New Zealand. Nothing like a one-lane road that falls off to infinity before the guard rail to get your concentration up.

I chose the return route because I was wet, hungry, broke, late, and leaving on a Sunday. Worse, I missed the last open gas station in Parsons and wound up going from Parsons to Franklin on what I had in the tank (less than one gallon) and a 1-gallon gas can. I had less than 40 miles of range left at Franklin, and would have had to hole up for the night there if that one place hadn't been open.

It rained the whole way, and I think I was fighting off a touch of hypothermia by the time I got home, almost exactly twelve hours after I left. The difference in distance between the way I went up and the way I came home was, amazingly, within four kilometers. Both were very close to 220 miles. And Seneca Rocks is so pretty that I'm pretty sure I'm going to go back, maybe next weekend.

I learned a lot from that trip, some of it good, some if it exasperating, some of it frightening. Glad I did it, and glad I made it back. See you soon, lovely West Virginia!

[iris5426]

3. Wow, sounds like one hell of an adventure...

We went to All Good as well, but were only traveling from Pittsburgh, and by car at that. It was an awesome weekend though, as always...